clandestinidad Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 My LD boyfriend is moving to my state next week to be closer to me, and I'm having doubts about the whole thing. He's moving about 4 hrs away, which is always better than 4 states away, but there will still be distance. We'll see each other on weekends. I cant figure out if I'm scared or what. I've been acting really naggy and irritating for over a week, and I usually do that on purpose when I'm trying to get the person to end the relationship. I'm doubting if I even like him or not, or if I want to continue this relationship b/c the distance drives me crazy. Has anyone ever experienced this anxiety and questioned their relationship when their partner is about to move closer? I cant seem to figure out why I would feel this way.
Proto Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 I'm not sure why you may have doubts or whatnot....but you ABSOLEUTLY need to tell your boyfriend what your thinking now before he moves all the way out there only to find that his girl is no longer interested in him. If I were your man and you told me that you were no longer feeling me after I just moved all the way out there....I'd be pretty damn pissed.....
Author clandestinidad Posted August 27, 2004 Author Posted August 27, 2004 Oh no no.....I LOVE him!!! He's amazing, and when we're together everything's wonderful! I just meant that I'm having doubts about this working, and if we should continue this b/c its so stressful and difficult when we're apart, and when he moves we'll still be apart. When I said that I'm doubting if I like him, I meant that I'm doubting if I like him enough, or whether or not thats enough to keep people together. I'm scared of something, and anxious about this change thats about to take place. I guess I'm also scared that when we spend more time together on the weekends that we'll realize that we dont really love each other, or shouldnt be together. Almost as if the distance has made everything "dreamy" (like forming a person in your head, which might be completely different from how they REALLY are) and now reality is about to set in. Does that make sense??? Has anyone else had anxiety about their partner moving closer???
DerangedAngel Posted August 27, 2004 Posted August 27, 2004 Has anyone else had anxiety about their partner moving closer??? Ah, no. But I've been with the person who had the anxiety. It sucked, really, that they didn't want to make an effort and see if we were right for each other. Wouldn't you regret never giving it a shot? Regardless, you need to tell him how you're feeling. -Deranged
Selpru Posted September 4, 2004 Posted September 4, 2004 Hi, I did experience the anxiety you are talking about. I too was a bit confused. But it passes. I think, for me, it was the change of the routine we had set or even the fact that we were going so well LDR, what if it flopped now that it was so close. That could be what you are thinking. This happened when I tried to get a job in the same country as my now fiance. The job thing did not work out but we took the time to spend time together and see what is real or not. Well we got engaged and well needless to say. I am kinda going through the same thing again. Marriage mean me leaving my country, family etc. But I know it is real and it is right. May be you need to give yourself chance to see the same for your own situation. About being naggy and stuff..never knew someone had the same mechanism like myself. Isn't it annoying to yourself as well? It is like uncontrollable PMS. But if he loves you, he will see through that and talking to him about your fears will help him bear with it too. It worked for me. You will also see once you put it out there...that behaviour will go away. Good Luck
Author clandestinidad Posted September 8, 2004 Author Posted September 8, 2004 Thank you SO much, Selpru, for your reply!!!! That is EXACTLY how I've been feeling! He actually moved in on Saturday, and I spent Sat. afternoon till Monday afternoon with him, and it felt like I should stay and move in with him!! It was absolutely wonderful! We both had been getting a little anxious about the whole thing, and had been talking about it on the phone. He was anxious about moving across the country for a girl, and about starting his new job....everything about the move happened within 2/3 weeks and I think thats why it took some getting used to!! Anyway, now that everything is taken care of and he's moved in, we both feel SOO relaxed and happy about the whole thing. We'll still be 4 hours apart, but knowing that we'll see each other every few days is a terriffic feeling!!!! Thanks for the reply's!!!
Recommended Posts