LostGirl11 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 This is getting ridiculous. Everything reminds me of him, everything! I'm avoiding wearing clothes that he liked me wearing, I can't use my favourite shampoo because he liked the smell! I still have a few bits of his that I can't bring myself to throw them away. I don't know if I should throw away gifts he gave me. Is there anything I can tell myself? This seems crazy!
TrueAwareness Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Yes there is. Tell yourself that this person dumped you. That they chose not to be around anymore. They left and they didnt want to fight for something good (unless you cheated on your partner and betrayed them, but im sure you didnt). Tell yourself how crazy it is to make your own life hell because the other person decided not to fight for what you guys had.
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Whenever I smell the shampoo it actually feels like someone has stabbed me in the heart. I'm a freak.
TrueAwareness Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Nah you are not a freak. You are human and you are a good person. That combination sadly usually means more pain. Is there any other post that shows your whole story with your ex?
Allumere Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Whenever I smell the shampoo it actually feels like someone has stabbed me in the heart. I'm a freak. No huni, you are not a freak. You have a broken heart and these are simply symptoms. I'd say many on here, dumpees and dumpers, have dealt with things like this to some degree. All those seemingly innocent things are a reminder of a happy time....you aren't happy now, are in a situation you cannot change (not the way you want but you can move on/forward) and it simply sucks. Smells are huge memory triggers for many folks. But whether its a smell, a food, a song....it can hurt. But it won't forever. For now, change the shampoo, buy yourself some new cute cloths and pack away things from him so they don't stare ar you every day. 1
geegirl Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Whenever I smell the shampoo it actually feels like someone has stabbed me in the heart. I'm a freak. Then we are all freaks. I couldn't walk through the scent department in the men's section of the mall because everytime I saw the Davidoff counter, I would cry. Everytime I saw the men's body wash commercial, I would scramble for the remote to change the channel. Everytime I saw an Audi Q7 on the road, waaaaaaaaaah! bawling in the car. I even had to stop using Tide to wash my clothes. Again, Lost. Stop being so hard on yourself. Quit the belittling. 1
iouaname Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Take everything that reminds you of him, put it in a box, and give it to a friend or a family member to hold on to. That way, it won't be around for you to be upset about, but you also will not feel bad about getting rid of it because it isn't actually thrown out. Then, in the distant future, when you're ready to deal with it and there is not as much of an emotional attachment, you can decide what to do with the box.
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Then we are all freaks. I couldn't walk through the scent department in the men's section of the mall because everytime I saw the Davidoff counter, I would cry. Everytime I saw the men's body wash commercial, I would scramble for the remote to change the channel. Everytime I saw an Audi Q7 on the road, waaaaaaaaaah! bawling in the car. I even had to stop using Tide to wash my clothes. Again, Lost. Stop being so hard on yourself. Quit the belittling. It's horrible. I want to wear those clothes and use the shampoo, but I can't! I've tried, really I have but it feel like I'm torturing myself when I do so I put them back. Then I feel like he's won again and I'm punishing myself.
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Nah you are not a freak. You are human and you are a good person. That combination sadly usually means more pain. Is there any other post that shows your whole story with your ex? There are a few, but the one explaining the break up is called 'Hate myself' Sorry, I don't know how to link it.
geegirl Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 It's horrible. I want to wear those clothes and use the shampoo, but I can't! I've tried, really I have but it feel like I'm torturing myself when I do so I put them back. Then I feel like he's won again and I'm punishing myself. It's not about him winning. It's about you finding the best way to cope in a very difficult situation. Why must it be about him? And that is why I keep telling you to be gentle on yourself. What works for Lost. It's all about what helps you get through. Not about win or lose. Take the shampoo, the clothes and the little bits of him and put them in a box and store them away. Look at it as your way of detoxing. You're looking for ways to cope and this is one of them. Cleansing yourself from your surrounding. Put all the reminders away. You know the pot is hot, yet you want to place your hand on it. All you end up with is a scalded hand. If you want to win, then stop doing this because he does truly win when you keep hammering yourself over and over again.
cavalier99 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 I have the same thing happen but it fight thru it and don't avoid it. Then the next time it isn't as bad. I've even forced myself to listen to songs that came on radio that reminded me of us. Now i can listen to them no problem. I'm not giving up my life because of being assaulted by memories. They become part of my present with new memories instead of the past. Did that make sense. Almost everywhere i go i have been with her so i just need to suck it up until it loses its effect. 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 It's not about him winning. It's about you finding the best way to cope in a very difficult situation. Why must it be about him? And that is why I keep telling you to be gentle on yourself. What works for Lost. It's all about what helps you get through. Not about win or lose. Take the shampoo, the clothes and the little bits of him and put them in a box and store them away. Look at it as your way of detoxing. You're looking for ways to cope and this is one of them. Cleansing yourself from your surrounding. Put all the reminders away. You know the pot is hot, yet you want to place your hand on it. All you end up with is a scalded hand. If you want to win, then stop doing this because he does truly win when you keep hammering yourself over and over again. I'm being hard on myself. I've always been that way. I often pisss myself off! I can throw away the shampoo and his clothes I guess, I'll put away the gifts. But I need to wear my clothes again because I don't have many and I'm always wearing the same old thing.
geegirl Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 I'm being hard on myself. I've always been that way. I often pisss myself off! I can throw away the shampoo and his clothes I guess, I'll put away the gifts. But I need to wear my clothes again because I don't have many and I'm always wearing the same old thing. Ok, maybe it's time to get a few new things for yourself. Remember you wanted to spend all that money going up to see him. How about you invest that in yourself? Pamper yourself. And wear your clothes because YOU like them. Don't always shift the focus on what HE liked or didn't like. Stop revolving yourself around him. And if you can't be an advocate for YOU, who will. Time to stop bashing yourself up and start learning how to love yourself, flaws and all.
FailedFirstLove Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 your not alone! OMG I'm pathetic too... I still cry over everything. I miss him like crazy even shopping for furniture makes me so sad because it was our future thing together! I go paint a mug and I wish I could paint it for him. I see a cake recipe I wanted to bake it for him. Everything is him When does this fade? it's been 2 months. Argh
Samilia Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 This is getting ridiculous. Everything reminds me of him, everything! I'm avoiding wearing clothes that he liked me wearing, I can't use my favourite shampoo because he liked the smell! I still have a few bits of his that I can't bring myself to throw them away. I don't know if I should throw away gifts he gave me. Is there anything I can tell myself? This seems crazy! If you stop being who you are because of him, he will never go away indeed. You're letting this break up define who you are.
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Ok, maybe it's time to get a few new things for yourself. Remember you wanted to spend all that money going up to see him. How about you invest that in yourself? Pamper yourself. And wear your clothes because YOU like them. Don't always shift the focus on what HE liked or didn't like. Stop revolving yourself around him. And if you can't be an advocate for YOU, who will. Time to stop bashing yourself up and start learning how to love yourself, flaws and all. I can't really afford anything right now. I'm revolving everything around him. I need to stop. Wish I could love myself, but I actually hate myself for some messed up reason. I don't want to pamper myself, I don't want to do anything nice for me, I don't want to look good. Jesus, I need to get a grip, I need to get away...I don't want to be me. I sound like a loon. Had to write this, had to get it out.
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