Talak7 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 But this is the chance you are taking by not telling people your condition until "after" you are getting to know them...you made a post about this before. You're essentially dropping a bomb on them...oh "BTW, I have this serious condition with a scary title that you probably know nothing about...please don't freak out because I use a cane to walk and can't do this or that...please assume the worse as well because I'll explain nothing to you about the limitations of my disability, and even if I do now you're in shock and don't even know how to react...you are in handicap fear mode" . This! One of my best friends has CP. I remember when he told a bunch of us (pfft, we didn't even know ). we just noticed he had a limp of sorts and surgery scars on his arm / a slightly smaller arm. He grew up in handicapped equipment ( I didn't know him at the time - when he told us this we were like "whaa...?" and....worked out and was SUPER active...and he's like...god dammit....BUFF and ACTIVE and...makes me feel like a piece of crap And he has a super positive attitude and probably one of the most loveable people I know, and has dated tons of beautiful women.... So yeah.... About the CP... Exactly how LIMITING is it? Because I didn't even know one of my best friends had CP until like...8 years after we met.....he didn't like telling people we were like..."okay...? what's that mean....? Oh you're "handicapped" and still way buffer than me? yeah **** you too buddy!" and kinda just went on with our lives.....it probably made him feel good that no one really batted an eye (other than wtf you had to go through all this and you're still super buff with a good job and smart as crap and funny....I feel like a piece of crap....)
Leigh 87 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Also - I will tell you what a jerk is like. One time, a guy I had only just met said "you know, I really do not find you to be attractive. At all" :confused::confused: At least your guy was a little more diplomatic. I am so lucky to not be in a wheelchair, and to be in good health, so I have chosen to not let people bother me, merely because they do not want to be with me, for reasons I cannot control. Being the most beautiful women and having all the options in the world gets you more options faster, as more men show interest from the outset. In the end mate, YOU have what it takes to find a partner who loves and adores you. You are only at a disadvantage if you let yourself feel that way .................Ugly people have less options than you do. At least more guys can be sexually into you. 1
whichwayisup Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Ok so I have been talking to this guy a few days (met on OKC) he is super cute blah blah yesterday I told him I had CP, I didn't wait and stuff and he took it really well, he said it was fine and he didn't care. Today he texts me he is like "oh I am really sorry I thought about what you said and I know myself and I just don't know if you are active enough" blah blah same old **** different day. I just said "ok" but I really REALLY want to go off on him like I really want to just tell him to go **** himself, like seriously shoot yourself.. I'm so mad! I don't even know why I'm so mad, it isn't as if I haven't heard that line before.. I mean really you want some gross buff person girl with a dick almost? Kill yourself times 10. I'm so mad, my face just got so hot.. Can I say that to him? Should I just let it go? idk... I'm so pissed, I don't even know why.. I should just get used to being ****ing single and sad forever because 22 years.. haven't met anyone yet.. like really kill myself. Let it go. As angry as you are, he does have a right to change his mind. At least he was honest about it and didn't brush you off or ignore you. Kudos to him for that. Many guys would just bail without saying a word or make up some stupid lie. 1
Leigh 87 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Let it go. As angry as you are, he does have a right to change his mind. At least he was honest about it and didn't brush you off or ignore you. Kudos to him for that. Many guys would just bail without saying a word or make up some stupid lie. You know what though? the reality is: if he met her inadvertently through a hiking group, a part time job, or work, he could very well develop feelings for her, or a girl LIKE her. The key thing here is: it is a little intense and full on to meet a person with a percieved disibility or ailment, from the outset, without having known her as a person first. It is just human nature, the way people are not necessarily attracted to one another initially, because they simply do not know what each other is about, and their looks alone are not of a level that attracts them soley based on the physical........
normal person Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 He's a doucher. I mean ok he was nice about the whole thing which I appreciate but still he's rude in general for doing it. I have him an out when I told him he could have been like "oh I can't handle that sorry" at that point but he didn't he was like "oh it doesn't matter blah blah blah" so that makes him a doucher to me.. Maybe he isn't a horrible person but a doucher yes. This sounds like an "outdoors" issue and not a "CP" one. A large part of me thinks you may be reading into this too much. If he said he liked the outdoors and sporty stuff even before he knew about your CP, then it shouldn't be a surprised that he wants to be with someone who can enjoy similar things. Simply put, it sounds more like it didn't work out because this guy wants someone who's more apt to share his activities -- not because he has an issue with his partner having CP. I see how the two are indirectly related, but I don't think you can vilify this guy. If you were the same person but had some other condition where your mobility wasn't effected -- allowing you to enjoy the outdoors -- it sounds this guy would be fine with it. That being said, I completely understand why you might be frustrated with the situation. You should try meeting some more people in person, it would definitely allow you to interact and display some of your attractive qualities. People won't be so dismissive as they might be online.
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