UndoIt Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 So long story short, my perfect guy dumped me a few weeks ago because he was unhappy with himself, needed to find himself, blah blah blah. Anyway, after flip-flopping between being friends and in NC, I've finally gone into strict NC and have been there for about a week. I got sick of signing on Facebook (the bane of my existence since the BU) and noticing right away that he was on chat, had a new wall post, still had our pictures up, etc. So, I made the decision to unfriend him, his family members, and his friends that weren't mutual. I sent his friends that I was close with a friendly text to let them know I unfriended them not to be mean, but because seeing them all over Facebook was a constant reminder of the BU. They responded that they understood and hoped we could still be friends without him. Is it okay to send a text to the ex and let him know I removed him too and why? I guess I do still hope one day we'll get back together, but I know we need this time apart now. I don't want him to think I'm being malicious by completely removing him from my life. That, and I kind of regret that he now can't creep on my new pictures demonstrating my fab social life without him haha. Should I break NC and text him to let him know, or stick to it and hope he misses me instead of hating me lol.
sharsh Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 You don't owe him an explanation. At all. There is no reason for the dumpee to break NC, ever.
meeji Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Let him think whatever he wants. You shouldn't contact him.
NoLeafClover Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 you break NC only if he/she is begging to take you back and makes a real effort to want to reconcile things. Other than that, including calling randomly, texts including "I miss u" , and other breadcrumbs should be ignored. My ex called it quits on me early Dec, for two months I've been getting random texts from her about "if I loved her", questioning "if I am happy" etc and recently also gotten restricted calls from her. I never replied and it's making her go crazy. Do yourself a favor, I know it hurts and you love him(or so you think) but have some dignity for yourself. You have already done the right things by removing him and his friends on FB. Actually you should block him and avoid trying to look for him on other social sites, google him etc. Be a goner, disappear from the face of the earth. Don't even post a FB pic of you on your profile. It's the best medicine to have him miss you IF and ONLY IF he ever thinks of you. I did it and it worked for me and all it did was make me feel better about a decision she made. Don't send him a message letting him know, it's best when he finds out himself. You messaging him only shows weakness on your part and boosts his ego. 2
Author UndoIt Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 This applies even if my goal was to end things peacefully? My main concern is that I really don't want there to be any more hostility between us than there has to be. We're in a difficult spot right now with graduation coming up, and initially I wanted a break, then he wanted a breakup to "find himself", and I want to not hate him. I know he genuinely is a good person and I want to be as good of a person as possible during the breakup. Ugh.
Samilia Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 So long story short, my perfect guy dumped me a few weeks ago because he was unhappy with himself, needed to find himself, blah blah blah. Anyway, after flip-flopping between being friends and in NC, I've finally gone into strict NC and have been there for about a week. I got sick of signing on Facebook (the bane of my existence since the BU) and noticing right away that he was on chat, had a new wall post, still had our pictures up, etc. So, I made the decision to unfriend him, his family members, and his friends that weren't mutual. I sent his friends that I was close with a friendly text to let them know I unfriended them not to be mean, but because seeing them all over Facebook was a constant reminder of the BU. They responded that they understood and hoped we could still be friends without him. Is it okay to send a text to the ex and let him know I removed him too and why? I guess I do still hope one day we'll get back together, but I know we need this time apart now. I don't want him to think I'm being malicious by completely removing him from my life. That, and I kind of regret that he now can't creep on my new pictures demonstrating my fab social life without him haha. Should I break NC and text him to let him know, or stick to it and hope he misses me instead of hating me lol. No, he knows why. If he gets offended, that's his ego problem, nothing else. And if your goal is for him to miss you, I would really not message him at all. Popping into his life with a hot and cold scenario (I unfriend you then I message you) really isn't going to play in your favor. In short, stay nc.
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