TouchedByViolet Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 How do you all deal with your regrets...? Sometimes I wish I had made completely different life decisions and wonder where I would be if I had. Thoughts like I wish I would have pushed myself just a little harder, or I wish I would have been just a little bit smarter, or I wish I would have seized the opportunity when it was in front of me. I hate feeling a step behind constantly. Sometimes it leads to self dislike too. Forgiving yourself is difficult. Regret hits me like a wave some days, today being one. 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Well, Frankie boy seemed to have it off pat, but it may not be that easy. I think the only thing you can do, is to look back on events, and know - really 'get' - that you can't change a damn thing, so are you going to let it hold you back or hurtle you forward? Did you learn anything then, that helped you? Did you implement the lesson? Any mistakes you've repeated? Why is that? What could you do now, to make the burden lighter? Why don't you do it?
dichotomy Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Understand it would only be an issue if you did not have regrets about things. Regret is healthy - lack of any regret is not healthy. Kathryn Schulz: Don't regret regret | Video on TED.com 1
Double D Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Thanks for the video link dichotomy. Especially like when she says 'Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly. It reminds us that we know we can do better.' Haven't thought about it like that before. Living with regret shows you care and are human. Still working on not giving myself such a hard time but this video has given me something to ponder.
Harradin Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 I don't see regret as regret to be honest, I see it as experience/learning curve on the path of life, no point feeling about about it because its gone, I just learnt to take that experience and use it in future situations if needed.
JamesM Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Yes, the what if's can haunt us all our lives. What if I had married a different person? What if I had taken a different job? What if I had never did what I did? Etc., etc., etc. And then remember this...if you had not done what you did or had done something different, it is just as likely that you would wonder what if from that perspective. We all have regrets and wonder. We can look at them with pessimism and think life would have been better, or we could look at them and realize that life may have been completely different in a bad way. It would be so much easier if we could lay out some alternative lives and pick the one that looks the best, but none of us can. We simply make choices day after day with the knowledge that we currently have and move forward trusting that it was the best choice. Enjoy what you have and don't linger on what you don't. Live for today but plan for tomorrow without dwelling on the past.
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