calgary Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Help! Basically I haven't gone out partying and drinking since the end of my 18 month relationship. it ended a month ago. I've thrown myself into work and my night courses in accountancy and I've done really well. It's really given me a confidence boost and I feel awesome! my friends are missing me and want to go to a club tonight that we always go to. I have tonnes of friends in this place and I love it! I don't want to lose it just because I got dumped. me and my ex met up last weekend to exchange stuff and have a cup of coffee.. she basically offered me the friend zone and I told her I couldn't see her in that way it just seemed false and probably not for the best.. ( as I imagine I would always get my hopes up if she text me or emailed or something and then i'd see her in photos with other guys and stuff) I decided it was best to delete her from facebook! I think she got the ' Grass is always greener' thing. where she wants to go out and party and have fun since that's all she's done since we broke up and she's not really been single much in her life. who knows.. anyway. I would love to get drunk with my friends since I passed my exams and it's the weekend and work are happy with me. I've gone through a stressful time and would love to just get out.. only problem is my ex told me last weekend that she'd be at this club this weekend... so now it looks like i'm planning to bump into her! I just don't want to sit home on the weekend or find a new club and make new friends just because she dumped me. how do I go about it if I see her? how do you think she'll be towards me at a guess? i'm always a happy cheery drunk usually more focussed on getting more alcohol than women haha. Please give me advice on how to handle this situation? Thank you! I do still love this girl it is still recent I know she feels the same way so it will sting if I see her with somebody else and vice versa (which I can imagine her trying to make me jealous or something haha )
notsosuperman Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 The first time I went out drinking with my friends, I was a mess. Only a couple weeks had passed and I saw her multiple times and kept questioning my drunken-self, how she could ignore me and why she did not want me. Then I cried like a waterfall when I got home and went to bed. This only happened one time, because I went out too fast.. Whether your friends misses you or not, should no force you into going out if you don't feel ready. But if you chose to go out, don't look after her.. It will do you no good. Do like I did if you are ready. Go out and party, have fun, laugh and ignore the **** out of her.
sharkbite Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 i would say skip it all together, The same sort of thing happened to me and I said to myself "yea i can handle this, even if it does suck a little I'm not going to let her win" well.......it wasn't good, and it didn't workout. I wish i never went and just stayed home.
Author calgary Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 i would say skip it all together, The same sort of thing happened to me and I said to myself "yea i can handle this, even if it does suck a little I'm not going to let her win" well.......it wasn't good, and it didn't workout. I wish i never went and just stayed home. what happened? how did it go ?
Author calgary Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 The first time I went out drinking with my friends, I was a mess. Only a couple weeks had passed and I saw her multiple times and kept questioning my drunken-self, how she could ignore me and why she did not want me. Then I cried like a waterfall when I got home and went to bed. This only happened one time, because I went out too fast.. Whether your friends misses you or not, should no force you into going out if you don't feel ready. But if you chose to go out, don't look after her.. It will do you no good. Do like I did if you are ready. Go out and party, have fun, laugh and ignore the **** out of her. cheers dude! I'm gonna party hard. If she's close by and see's me i'll say hi, give her a hug and say I have to go i'm with friends or something and to enjoy her night!
geegirl Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 cheers dude! I'm gonna party hard. If she's close by and see's me i'll say hi, give her a hug and say I have to go i'm with friends or something and to enjoy her night! If only it were that easy, and if it was, you would not have posted here. But talk yourself into it and I hope it turns out to be a great night for you.
cdt76 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 DON'T HUG HER. DON'T TOUCH HER. DON'T LOOK AT HER. DON'T RECOGNIZE SHE IS EVEN THERE. If she comes over to you, say hi but then excuse yourself to the bathroom. You will be in need of it because you will fall apart. Trust me! 2
Author calgary Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 DON'T HUG HER. DON'T TOUCH HER. DON'T LOOK AT HER. DON'T RECOGNIZE SHE IS EVEN THERE. If she comes over to you, say hi but then excuse yourself to the bathroom. You will be in need of it because you will fall apart. Trust me! yea I was walking passed her. she grabbed my arm and started talking to me but I was really drunk, I just nodded and said yeah ( I don't know what she said I was so drunk and the music was loud) I gave her a hug and walked off... later on she grabbed me and pulled me to a side and said her life got rough and she was struggling with things and she was really down. (this was at like 3am so we were both really really drunk by this stage) I don't really remember a word she said at all I really don't. I didn't say much. but out of nowhere in my drunken state I asked if she'd like to go for dinner next weekend ... she agreed! then I did the cringiest... I tried to kiss her hahaha. I want to curl up in a ball because she rejected me. but still.. she opened up to me emotionally.. agreed to go on a date and she intiated the conversations. I just sat there drunk. I can't help but think it's all a bad idea though! i'm quiet enjoying my single life at the moment and my friends are really good to me! Plus I really have a feeling she left me for somebody else and it didn't work out so now I feel second best. I feel a bit of regret, she knows she's got me now. but at the end of the day if it doesn't work out. it's not the end of the world anymore. I had a great night and I got a lot of attention from other girls I really enjoyed it !
Author calgary Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 If only it were that easy, and if it was, you would not have posted here. But talk yourself into it and I hope it turns out to be a great night for you. it was that easy i'm going for dinner with her next weekend.
geegirl Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 it was that easy i'm going for dinner with her next weekend. Unfortunately you ended up curling up in a ball cringing at some point during the night versus what you had planned to do. Dinner means nothing. Good luck to you. Sometimes it takes a few tumbles to finally learn the lesson.
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Drink loosens the tongue. I have yet to meet anyone who having been blind drunk and indiscreet, is proud or happy with what they said/did. If you 'cringed', I suspect she did much of the same. And look - even in her drunken state, she still had the presence of mind to reject your kiss. That's because, even drunk, she knew this was just a load of crap. You need to go no contact, forget dinner, and concentrate on you, and moving on.
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