Slipstream123 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 I met a lovely girl through an OLD and we got on really well and there is definitely chemistry there. Things didn't develop as she felt that as I'd just come out of a long term relationship and was in the middle of sorting my life out I was both unavailable and high risk. Plus there were a few white lies in my OLD profile (stupid!) which i told her about straightaway after the 1st date. I took this on the chin, even though it was difficult to accept. I could definitely see it from her point of view. I really do find her attractive and have told her. Now, the problem is that we've met up a few times since, and even though she was clear that it was as friends, It doesn't feel like that. The chemistry is still there. She keeps dropping hints that something might happen in the future, but she's also said that I should play the field and not jump into a new relationship. Last night she asked me, out of the blue, to meet her and a few of her friends for a few afterworks drinks and listen to a band. Last weekend we went out for lunch with a group of mutual friends. One of her girfriends told me that she thinks she does really like me but is just a little unsure of me still, mainly because of my recent past. So, I just want to call her and tell her that I don't really want to be friends, I want to see her again romantically and see what happens. I think I should do this, but it does run the risk of messing up what could be a good friendship.
phineas Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 My advice? Don't tell her you want more. Date other women to show her you aren't going to turn into a desperate clinger. It seems you got a little attached to this woman already when you really do not know her that well & she is probably picking up on that. Or it could be any number of things. Every time i've been in this situation where the woman says "friends" but clearly is interested in more, trying for more just drove her away. But, just being her friend, flirting with her, having fun & going after other women, getting with them. Prioritizing them. Even for a short time made those women come a running. Also, not being too available for her when she calls you up to hang out goes a long way also. When a woman sets the line at "just friends" I treat her that way. It's WAY to easy to get yourself into a Boyfriend without benefits situation, get attached, ect & that will not end well for you.
Recommended Posts