Why do i feel like i wont find somebody as pretty as my ex.

[awesomesauce]

I still think about her from time to time, just when im alone mostly or driving somewhere, and i made huge improvements since the break up 4 months ago of our 2 year relationship and i know its over, but i still think about her sometimes. Im still reminded how i was mistreated and how i was a guinea pig for her. I was the nice guy, i tried to be the perfect guy, God knows i learnt my lesson about that. It makes me not only disgusted with myself, but it still baffles me that someone you knew so well, changed completely and became the thing they said they didn't wanna be.

 

I guess its hard to explain, its just i consider myself the average guy, i think i seen the term beta thrown around here, but im hard on myself so i dont know. Anywho im a 5'11 blue eyed blonde guy, skinny weight around 125 dont, look like 140 though, but decently fit and i was attracted to practically my polar opposite. She was a dark brunette, brown eyes, short about 5'6 weight about 135, all legs and nice booty with a bra size in c's and a cheerleader for her college. She also reminded me of selena gomez and shes my celebrity crush lol. Sorry for the detail there lol.

 

I considered her beautiful on the inside and out at the time, now i just find her pretty, not attractive. I was her first for everything except sex, and i suppose that still annoys me as well, she wanted to wait until marriage and i was fine with that, (again learned my lesson here) but recently we spoke and i asked her about that topic and she told me "its not that im waiting til im married, but im waiting for the guy i wanna marry. I know that sounds harsh, but i knew we would never do that." That was a kick to my balls, considering i havent had sex for 2 years because of her, but i truly wanted to with her, not because of just sex, but because of love. We didnt really discuss that stuff often, actually communication stopped there at the end, and i guess when i do think about her i still wonder what if i talked to her about that stuff or what if we did it, would it have changed anything, considering she said she said seen me more of a best friend and maybe that would bring back her attraction towards me. I suppose after everything we been through, i kinda expected us to eventually.

 

I know its bad to ask what if, but im human and even though im not completely over her, im getting there. I guess i just wanted to vent on here its been a long bad day, im tired of talking to my friends about it. I know what everyone is going say, stop comparing other girls to her, she doesnt exist anymore, she wanted you out of her life and you give her what she wants. She obviously wasnt the one for you, so why still think about those things.

 

Im still working on me though and making me number 1, i do feel more confident. I also learned that first love doesnt last, its a learning experience and to expect the worst. I should be trying to experience everything i can at this age, but at the same time im not that type of guy. Im not someone who follows the crowd, i have always been the mysterious type, plus i kinda grew up a little too fast. Im more focused on my future and shaping that instead of partying.

 

Also got another question to go along with anything anybody has to say about the above, but do you think im going through depression? Let me explain, i dont sleep anymore, i usually dont go to bed til like 3 and then i toss and turn until like 4 or 5 in the morning. When i finally do sleep, i dont wanna wake up, i just wanna lay there and do nothing. Plus this time of year is pretty hard on me financially, tuition needing to be paid plus other bills is just kinda stressing me out. Not only that, but there is family conflict. I feel alone, i have a lot of friends, but maybe only 2 close ones, but they arent really people i talk to everyday so i dont really have much communication with people. Not only that, but im stressed about getting into pharmacy school and to top it all off i think about her. I honestly just want somebody to hold me and just cuddle up to and watch a movie and tell me everything will be ok while giving me a kick butt back massage lol.

 

Sorry if it sounds like im whining, its just been a long day and you know the drill, cant sleep. Also i will add, i seen a picture of her today, it was an old pic while we was dating that pissed me off then. It was a dude holding her in his hands when she had a skirt on and i will admit it brought back the memory when we fought about that, plus i always knew he had a thing for her, and i have always disliked that guy. I have realized though that my trouble with this still is that i admired too much about her and set her on a too high of a pedestal, i need to learn how to make the heart not feel that way.

Edited February 1, 2013 by awesomesauce

[SuperSad09]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I am a girl, but I sort of put my ex on the same kind of pedestal. I know it's because I cares so much for him but I also feel like I won't ever be find anyone so attractive. I think (hope!) this is all apart of the break up process. I had a serious relationship a few years ago and I remember feeling similiarly (though this one is more intense).

 

It does sound like maybe you are a bit depressed. Again, I'm sorry. Some points in life are just lower than others. But you will feel better someday and it will be sooner than you think!! Maybe you could do peer counseling through your college? Or if you areole comfortable a psychologist? Just remember this feeling won't last forever, and there is nothing wrong with needing a little help through this "hump"

 

My guess is you will find someone eventually who you will hold even more dear in your heart and who you will feel even more attracted to (whether she is blonde and blue eyed or a Selma look-a- like

[SuperSad09]

Sorry for typos... On my iphone!

[pbjbear]

I gotta ask why are you focusing on her looks? That kind of bothers me.

You really should focus more on if you will find someone who treats you better, not finding a prettier woman...

 

 

Alot of girls flock to mysterious guys...you will def have more loves in your life

 

 

You do sound like you have depression...if it continues that way please seek some help even if its just self-help...Ive seen too many men ignore depression

[awesomesauce]

i appreciate the responses, im better now after i got a bite to eat and chilled and played some xbox with some buddies; like i said very long day. And sorry for the detail with her figure, i wanted to paint a description lol. I could at one time write a story about her personality, cause i will admit when i was first starting to recover, i realized i fell in love with her as a person, her morals, personality and her family and after we broke up, i didnt find her attractive anymore. I also appreciated the openness they gave me, it was like a new home. Hell the main reason why it didnt bother me that we didnt have sex in the first place is cause i found that idea of waiting more attractive and more special, in hindsight it gave me reason to always try and the best and make her want me, but we was going in to different directions and wanted different things. She started drinking, partying and hanging out with different people, she always told me she wanted that college experience.

 

I guess my heart is just still fixed on wanting to do that with that specific person. But I think i just needed to vent, not having anyone to really talk to gets lonely and you just have this urge to just speak whatever nonsense comes out of your mouth. I really do appreciate this forum, i honestly stopped coming here for about two weeks cause i was doing great, but then that missing bug bites ya lol.

[reckonexcel]

Hi, I am a astrologer and i have many solutions to get back you love. If you want this please contact me, i will definitely solve your problem.

[pbjbear]

Im glad this forum has helped you. Anytime you want to contact her write here instead.

 

I remember my first love...I did no contact and when he persistently contacted me and made me break no contact I got my hopes up. A month later I found out nothing was different and he just wanted an ego stroke. Its not a good feeling. Dont do what I did and if she contacts you, ignore her

[Own Worst Enemy]

they mean nothing. in fact, good looks often make people's personalities worse, as they become lazy or arrogant.

 

try focussing on what you really want and you will realise that she didn't have a lot of it.

 

looks aren't going to last or matter when you've been together 50 years and she's wiping gravy off your chin. it's warmth, honesty, shared goals, intelligence and humour that will get you through the 50 years.