Long Distance Question

[DemonYeti22]

Hello, I am new here...I just started trolling tonite and have read some of your stories. I need an outside opinion on something and wonder if you may be able to help me.

 

I have been in an LDR for about a year and a half. We have had our ups and downs like every relationship, but we are still going strong. We are completely in love with each other and that fact has not changed since day one. We video chat, talk, text, and email on a daily basis. We always let each other what is going on and communicate very well.

 

We met for the first time on Sunday, I was there from Sunday and I left yesterday. It could not have been more perfect. She is everything I knew she would be, and she said the same about me. Of course, leaving her was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I am not afraid to admit this, but I was in the airport in tears for about an hour.

 

The curve ball to my whole dilemma is....We both have small children. I have two and she has one. And, our distance is approx 1000 miles. Both of our ex's are involved with our children, and are EXCELLENT parents. She has full time custody and I have part time custody.

 

I know that we both will have to sacrifice. I am all in, we have been at this for a year and a half and I would wait another year and a half, or longer if it came to it. Honestly, especially after meeting her, I am certain that we would last. I feel she is perfect for me, in every aspect, and no other woman quite compares to her.

 

 

My question is...Can this work? Am I a complete ******* and a terrible father if I move to be with her? Am I selfish for asking her to move to me? I know that meeting in the middle would prob be fairest to the two of us, but if I am going to move THAT far away, why not just be with her? I am in a major city and she is in a secondary city.

 

I know the easy thing would be to just walk away, but I cant. I need to see this thru. I would not be able to go on with that what if question in the back of my mind.

 

Does anyone have any insight?

 

I thank you for your time.

[czen]

First of all, I would just talk to her about your future plans together. You can't keep this long distance thing going on forever, you need to have some sort of an idea of an end date where you move closer together.

 

See how she feels about moving, think about how you feel about moving and how it would be for the kids. Would you like it in her town, would she like it in yours, what is the best for the kids, your jobs, etc. All questions you need to discuss with her. If you have part time custody, I think it would make more sense if she moved to you, but yeah, you need to know if she is willing to do that. Just discuss it with her and think about what you both want.

 

Keep us posted anyway, I hope it goes well.

[ladyabstrused]

Yup, what czen said. You do have to consider the fact that you have part time custody of your kids. She's got full time. You need to be nearer to your kids and they still need you around even more since they're not always with you.

 

It all depends on the situation and circumstances. And both of you must be in mutual agreement of the solutions that you both discuss of. Where kids are involved, I feel that we should always put the kids needs and interests first before ours as adults. Innocent kids shouldn't have to suffer from the lack of proper parenting and support just because.

 

Anyway, I wish you the best. Good luck and keep us updated.

[HeavenOrHell]

My first thought is; wouldn't it make more sense for her to move to you because her kid would come with her, so she wouldn't have to see less of her/him, but if you move you would see far less of your kids as they don't live with you full time, so am assuming they wouldn't move with you?

I've no idea how to tackle what would happen with the ex's

LDR's are tough enough without kids involved, really hope you can find a compromise.

I don't think walking away would be the easiest thing to do at all.

Very tough situation.

Good luck.

 

 

 

Hello, I am new here...I just started trolling tonite and have read some of your stories. I need an outside opinion on something and wonder if you may be able to help me.

 

I have been in an LDR for about a year and a half. We have had our ups and downs like every relationship, but we are still going strong. We are completely in love with each other and that fact has not changed since day one. We video chat, talk, text, and email on a daily basis. We always let each other what is going on and communicate very well.

 

We met for the first time on Sunday, I was there from Sunday and I left yesterday. It could not have been more perfect. She is everything I knew she would be, and she said the same about me. Of course, leaving her was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I am not afraid to admit this, but I was in the airport in tears for about an hour.

 

The curve ball to my whole dilemma is....We both have small children. I have two and she has one. And, our distance is approx 1000 miles. Both of our ex's are involved with our children, and are EXCELLENT parents. She has full time custody and I have part time custody.

 

I know that we both will have to sacrifice. I am all in, we have been at this for a year and a half and I would wait another year and a half, or longer if it came to it. Honestly, especially after meeting her, I am certain that we would last. I feel she is perfect for me, in every aspect, and no other woman quite compares to her.

 

 

My question is...Can this work? Am I a complete ******* and a terrible father if I move to be with her? Am I selfish for asking her to move to me? I know that meeting in the middle would prob be fairest to the two of us, but if I am going to move THAT far away, why not just be with her? I am in a major city and she is in a secondary city.

 

I know the easy thing would be to just walk away, but I cant. I need to see this thru. I would not be able to go on with that what if question in the back of my mind.

 

Does anyone have any insight?

 

I thank you for your time.