Imajerk17 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Girl you need to get a grip. It's only been 2 dates he doesn't even know you at this point. Are you seriously sweating because he didn't message you back after only 2 hours? That's unbelievable. 1
Yamcha Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 You'd think that someone with a dating history would know that it's a way better idea to go for someone who's actually emotionally available. Fail.
outsidethebox Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Just curious. How are you supposed to know someone is emotionally unavailable until you find out?
mesmerized Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I actually get why you are frustrated. These men are mostly time wasters to be honest unless they truly are really busy. I've had men like that...texting and messaging forever and rarely wanting to meet. And yes, I stopped responding to the majority of them after a while. I don't want a penpal, I want to get to know people in person. 1
Author That_girl Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 Well he did respond last night saying that he hopes we can meet again too. I'm not responding to him again until he calls me and asks me to do something. At this point, I have made it clear that I am not into being pen pals, and the ball is in his court. I found it weird that he didn't text back right away because he usually does...being the avid texter that he is, I was a little concerned. It's not unbelievable. And I have being figuring out that he's emotionally unavailable. That's what my post was about...duh.
clairehud Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Well he did respond last night saying that he hopes we can meet again too. I'm not responding to him again until he calls me and asks me to do something. At this point, I have made it clear that I am not into being pen pals, and the ball is in his court. I found it weird that he didn't text back right away because he usually does...being the avid texter that he is, I was a little concerned. It's not unbelievable. And I have being figuring out that he's emotionally unavailable. That's what my post was about...duh. I was in the same position with someone. All I can say is that experience makes us rich! I think you have intuition that he might be a player. The older I get, the wiser I am. Its true if a guy on a 1st 2nd date claims he is so much into you and likes you so much. That there is something not well, because its too good to be true so fast, right? Been there, done that. And guess what I figured out, those men are never into you because its their pattern. I wouldnt like to date a guy who likes me all of the sudden, how come should I know he wont meet someone else too and fall for that someone so sudden also. Its a bit cheap. Secondly never ever text with a guy in future! Never, because it sucks. They get a pleanty of time to respond and wait with that type of a communication. And what happens later is this! He doesnt text you back for couple of hours, day or two and you freak out. Then he responds to your question. Then you might wait a few days, then you ask him how he is expecting he would call you out for a weekend. Then he gets busy and forgets to reply, but eventually he does. You both might meet up and spend a great weekend, but the circle countinues and its always like this. And the more you only text with someone, the more pissed off you get, because people start taking texting for granted and it leads both sides to an awkward moments. When dating someone, phone is used just for the phonecalls! My advice is ingore his texts for a while and him and you will see how he reacts. If he felll for you so fast and its true, he'll move mountains and oceans wondering what did he do wrong and chase you. Maybe you got bored because he is also to avaliable for you and too direct, decide what you want first
clairehud Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Well he did respond last night saying that he hopes we can meet again too. I'm not responding to him again until he calls me and asks me to do something. At this point, I have made it clear that I am not into being pen pals, and the ball is in his court. I found it weird that he didn't text back right away because he usually does...being the avid texter that he is, I was a little concerned. It's not unbelievable. And I have being figuring out that he's emotionally unavailable. That's what my post was about...duh. P.S. Belive me first intuition you get about the guy when you sense something is not just right is true...I hope I am worng, I hope alll will be okay, but just follow your insticts
Yamcha Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Just curious. How are you supposed to know someone is emotionally unavailable until you find out?Fair enough. It's just foolish to go after someone based on looks and status alone and then flip out about him not being emotionally available. It's like the dudes who go after hot bitches and then complain when they're vapid and manipulative. I did that stupid crap and learned after the first time.
Author That_girl Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 Okay well good for you! You learned your lesson after the first time. Congratulations. If you never make any mistakes, you probably shouldn't be here- this is a forum where human beings post and offer each other advice, but some people are just here to kick others when they are down. I don't remember people being this hostile on these forums many years ago when I first began posting. But it's funny how if you look at the pattern of their posts they usually respond to everyone in that patronizing, condescending tone. It's really lame and indicative of the type of person they must be in real life. Anyway, I want to thank everyone else that helped with this situation. Although I knew that something was off, the third perspective really helped. I'm going to try and not make the same mistake again in the future because it really is a waste of time. 1
ChatroomHero Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Well he did respond last night saying that he hopes we can meet again too. I'm not responding to him again until he calls me and asks me to do something. At this point, I have made it clear that I am not into being pen pals, and the ball is in his court. I found it weird that he didn't text back right away because he usually does...being the avid texter that he is, I was a little concerned. It's not unbelievable. And I have being figuring out that he's emotionally unavailable. That's what my post was about...duh. I guess I'm confused, you are really into this guy and he asked you out on 2 dates and now instead of calling and talking to him and asking him out on a date you still leave everything in text and YOU text him to get HIM to ask you out. If you really want him you need to call and ask him out like a 27 year old adult should. Instead you want the assurance and validation by having him call you to prove he is into you. Put aside your ego and call and ask him out. He went out with you twice so there is some interest there, I think you just don't like that he is not going all out to 'win' you. I am just guessing but I wonder if you are used to guys going after you hardcore (because they are trying to sleep with you) and you think by him not being desperate and looking to get laid means he must not want you. Maybe the fact that his approach is different from your previous experiences that you complained about you might get different results than your past relationships. 1
mesmerized Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 How is he a doctor and has this much time for texting? Does not compute. 1
Woggle Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 How is he a doctor and has this much time for texting? Does not compute. If he is he will eventually have a lot of malpractice lawsuits if he does it on the job. 1
Author That_girl Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 He is a dentist and he runs his own practice. I don't want to call him at this point because I think I already look clingy enough. I should have called him to begin with but what's done is done. I was just trying to match his pace. He knows where I stand now. If he likes me, he'll ask me out again. If not, screw him. 2
Woggle Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 If I went to see him I would have another dentist look at my teeth with all this texting he is doing. 1
ChatroomHero Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 He is a dentist and he runs his own practice. I don't want to call him at this point because I think I already look clingy enough. I should have called him to begin with but what's done is done. I was just trying to match his pace. He knows where I stand now. If he likes me, he'll ask me out again. If not, screw him. You ever think maybe he is on the fence about you and if you called it might flip in your favor? Maybe he is dating someone else right now that proves her interest and maturity by taking initiative. How many times does he need to ask you out before you take initiative to ask him out?
Alma Mobley Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 How many times does he need to ask you out before you take initiative to ask him out? But she did ask him out (first date). Honestly, he doesn't sound that interested.
Author That_girl Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 Yup Alma, I did ask him out to begin with, otherwise I probably still wouldn't have ever met him. LOL I also noticed that he was online, on the dating site that we met on. So he is clearly still looking. He's just not that into me. I get it. I deleted his number from my phone so that I never contact him again, and I do wish him all the best. It's tough out there for us single people... 2
Author That_girl Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 Well he did text me again today, out of nowhere. He asked me how my weekend was, and I kept thinking that eventually he would ask me out on a date. But he didn't. LOL I think he thinks that I must think he is boring. He kept talking about how his weekend was uneventful, and how he doesn't drink or party excessively. He fully admitted to be "boring". I felt like telling him that the only thing boring about him are his text messages, but I began feeling sorry for him. He does sound a little insecure, and I'm not making excuses for him- but he does sound scared. I'm not THAT much younger than him, but I guess he figure that I might not be into his lifestyle. In reality, I spend my Friday nights reading or cleaning my apartment. I do have the opportunity to go out and party, but I'd rather not do it all the time at this point. I'm still very confused. I wanted to ask him out but I don't wanna scare him off. I imagine that he must be somewhat interested if he is still in contact...?
outsidethebox Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 all you have to do (and said you would do) is text back give me a call and number. He will either call you right then or he won't. I hate to be the male problem solver instead of empathizer but you were saying you were going to do this.
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