pbjbear Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Well studies show that women that participate in an promuscious lifestyle they sleep with men they also would find attractive as a future partner. The men they have ons with have they same attractive traits they search in a life partner. When a men is having ONS, he doesn't look for typical qualities in women (accept is she fysical attractive or just someone he can have sex with). Have you ever participated in the bar/clubbing scene? I dont agree with this statement 100% Women are just as likely to look at a guy and think hes hookup material and not boyfriend material
SJC2008 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 How many people in R's open up to eachother? I'm willing to bet not many. You need to talk about the relationship and that means bringing your fears to the table too, that's how you build trust. BUT you have to be with someone who is willing to engage with you on that level, not a cheater or a giger. I guess I'll just keep kicking my can down the street...
pbjbear Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Hey men, show some emotions, and I will show up in your yard with a milkshake I agree with general lack of communication though...it is such a relationship killer/drainer
SJC2008 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 For women, standards often go to the garbage can when it's their need to have and love someone. That's exactly why it is easier for men to find relationships than women. If this is true I'm screwed:(
Woggle Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 How many people in R's open up to eachother? I'm willing to bet not many. You need to talk about the relationship and that means bringing your fears to the table too, that's how you build trust. BUT you have to be with someone who is willing to engage with you on that level, not a cheater or a giger. I guess I'll just keep kicking my can down the street... That's because are so afraid of being hurt that they don't want to show any weakness towards somebody who you should be able to show it to. You should be able to open up towards somebody you claim to love but these days there is so much mistrust and animosity that nobody wants to let the other get one up on them. I have been guilty of it myself in the past then I decided that I would rather be alone than in a relationship where I had to be a robot. I have a much better marriage because of it. The state of relationships these days is sad but I don't know how things are going to change anytime soon.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Hey men, show some emotions, and I will show up in your yard with a milkshake I'll settle for a can of dry almonds. Healthier anyway. As for the OP: yeah I agree with this. I have met some women who have let their emotions blind them in many ways. But, I've met an equal number of men (myself included) who have emotions and get attached but with the exception of rare moments of honesty, they just don't show it. It's not considered manly to say some girl broke your heart.
SJC2008 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Hey men, show some emotions, and I will show up in your yard with a milkshake I agree with general lack of communication though...it is such a relationship killer/drainer Mines better than yours:love:
aed Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Have you ever participated in the bar/clubbing scene? I dont agree with this statement 100% Women are just as likely to look at a guy and think hes hookup material and not boyfriend material So women look only at looks when they hook up, like guys do? I understand that there are women that hookup just for hooking up. But that is not what I mean. Even when they hook up just for hooking up, they search for traits in that person, they hope to find in their future mate. It is still about the guys character, emotional connection etc.
Author kaylan Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Hey men, show some emotions, and I will show up in your yard with a milkshake I agree with general lack of communication though...it is such a relationship killer/drainer Us guys would be more willing to redeem those milkshakes if showing our emotions hadnt blown up so much in our faces in the past. Many of us have dealt with emotionally cold women, emotionally unavailable women, women who call us clingy or whiners when we open up...and other things. So its not that men arent open...its that experience has taught us to be very cautious. Why cautious? Because within the same group of women who plea for men to be open emotionally, are women who deride men for showing emotion and appearing "less masculine". True story brah lol
pbjbear Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 So women look only at looks when they hook up, like guys do? I understand that there are women that hookup just for hooking up. But that is not what I mean. Even when they hook up just for hooking up, they search for traits in that person, they hope to find in their future mate. It is still about the guys character, emotional connection etc. You seem to think women are all out there looking for a soulmate...I gotta tell ya thats not true. Im glad you think so highly of women though, Im not complaining... 1
mesmerized Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 So women look only at looks when they hook up, like guys do? I understand that there are women that hookup just for hooking up. But that is not what I mean. Even when they hook up just for hooking up, they search for traits in that person, they hope to find in their future mate. It is still about the guys character, emotional connection etc. Nah, what planet are you on? When it comes to hooking up, looks are very important to women, probably even more than it is for men. 1
Author kaylan Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 So women look only at looks when they hook up, like guys do? I understand that there are women that hookup just for hooking up. But that is not what I mean. Even when they hook up just for hooking up, they search for traits in that person, they hope to find in their future mate. It is still about the guys character, emotional connection etc. The girls Ive had flings with seemed much more concerned with how I made their ginas tingle....not with my personality.That's the point though. Your need for emotional security is not ENOUGH to let go of your other standards. For women, standards often go to the garbage can when it's their need to have and love someone. That's exactly why it is easier for men to find relationships than women. There are more women out there searching for it and they are willing to take abuse or whatever else just to have it. I'm not one of those women though. But I see it often to call out on it. Well, I'm certain I wasn't just any chick to my close guy friends. With some I talked to every day for like hours. And women wonder why guys are commitment phobes when so many women merely settle on a guy they arent that much into just because they need to have a partner? Im not rushing for a relationship when I know many girls out there might just settle on me...only to turn my world upside down years later when I find out she wasnt ever that into me. Luckily Ive seen this happen to too many guys, so Im rightfully cautious. 1
SJC2008 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 (edited) That's because are so afraid of being hurt that they don't want to show any weakness towards somebody who you should be able to show it to. You should be able to open up towards somebody you claim to love but these days there is so much mistrust and animosity that nobody wants to let the other get one up on them. I have been guilty of it myself in the past then I decided that I would rather be alone than in a relationship where I had to be a robot. I have a much better marriage because of it. The state of relationships these days is sad but I don't know how things are going to change anytime soon. I agree. TBS men are told to not do this because we'll get chewed up and spit out. I wouldn't even think about talking about something like this with a woman I'm dating until at least the 6 month mark. That should give me enough time to judge whether she's capable of that type of intimacy. If you don't mind my asking, what were the signs that you knew your wife was this type of woman and when did you have a good feeling she was? BTW: Have they finished repairs on Ocean City BW? Was there in summer of 10', felt bad when the storm hit. Edited February 1, 2013 by SJC2008 add
Woggle Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 I agree. TBS men are told to not do this because we'll get chewed up and spit out. I wouldn't even think about talking about something like this with a woman I'm dating until at least the 6 month mark. That should give me enough time to judge whether she's capable of that type of intimacy. If you don't mind my asking, what were the signs that you knew your wife was this type of woman and when did you have a good feeling she was? I generally have good instincts and I figure if she stuck around during other things then she would stick around through this. She stuck around when my ex shot us plus when we were forced our of our home for a few months because of Sandy so she doesn't run at the first sign of strife. These things just brought us closer together but she did have to prove she was worth that kind of emotional intimacy from me.
SJC2008 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 I generally have good instincts and I figure if she stuck around during other things then she would stick around through this. She stuck around when my ex shot us plus when we were forced our of our home for a few months because of Sandy so she doesn't run at the first sign of strife. These things just brought us closer together but she did have to prove she was worth that kind of emotional intimacy from me. Sound like a strong woman! Hope all is well after the storm... I need to work on my intuition. I really liked the last woman I dated and was hurt when it ended. But it's funny how the light bulb doesn't seem to go off until it's over. Looking back after it ended, I'm about 99% sure she's the controlling type, not good. There were a couple eyebrow raisers while we dated but I should of pegged her as controlling WHILE we were dating and not after.
aed Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Nah, what planet are you on? When it comes to hooking up, looks are very important to women, probably even more than it is for men. Mabey I didn't i wasn't clear in my post. Men and women have different things they are attracted too, right? So why are goodlooking shy guys not the ones that get tons of ONS? They still look for an emotional connection. WHy are their no windows, streets full with men prostitutes?
mesmerized Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Mabey I didn't i wasn't clear in my post. Men and women have different things they are attracted too, right? So why are goodlooking shy guys not the ones that get tons of ONS? They still look for an emotional connection. WHy are their no windows, streets full with men prostitutes? You think all these ******* hotties who get laid with women left and right form an "emotional connection" with them? If we're only having your body, it better be hot! Get real.
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 My standards go way up in looks for casual sex. If that's all I am doing, he better look like a model
aed Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 I know shy goodling guys that get one night stands all the time. What usually stops them is more their shyness because they dont go in situations much where women can throw themselves at them. Women still look at looks for one night stands. In my experience when I see a guy as long term material I hold off sex so he doesnt use me But then you use him, for trigging him in to a relationship. This strategy is doomed to fail, just look on some post here on LS.
aed Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 You think all these ******* hotties who get laid with women left and right form an "emotional connection" with them? If we're only having your body, it better be hot! Get real. again: why are there no male street prostitute's? And why do gigolo's take women out? and when you have an ONS do you talk first with the guy, or just walk up and take his hand and **** him?
aed Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Men rule the world thats why women do stuff like that Why do women read Fifty Shades of Grey? That guy aint romantic in those novels. When I say emotional connection I don't talk about romance, love etc. The guy, most of the time needs to be fun, making you laugh, feel safe our what ever...
pbjbear Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 When I say emotional connection I don't talk about romance, love etc. The guy, most of the time needs to be fun, making you laugh, feel safe our what ever... Yeah women arent robots, men are. Men seriously think of women as holes its so ridiculous. It scares me how men say stuff on this forum to convince me this attitude is ok...I hope I never have daughters I read 50 shades and that guy was not fun nor safe feeling provoking either... 1
aed Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 (edited) Yeah women arent robots, men are. Men seriously think of women as holes its so ridiculous. It scares me how men say stuff on this forum to convince me this attitude is ok...I hope I never have daughters I read 50 shades and that guy was not fun nor safe feeling provoking either... This is what I ment. But not to this extreme. But men and women are not a like when it comes to ONS. other question: why are to no publicplaces with lesbians giving each other oral pleasure (because for gay men those plces are in almost every big city)? Edited February 1, 2013 by aed
pbjbear Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 (edited) This is what I ment. But not to this extreme. But men and women are not a like when it comes to ONS. other question: why are to no publicplaces with lesbians giving each other oral pleasure (because for gay men those plces are in almost every big city)? Most women tie emotions to sex which is why I am not a fan of men. Men dont become attached to a woman through sex, even ones they really care for. It doesnt mean much, its "just sex" to them. There are some women that act like men though just not very many...Gay men do what hetero men would do if they had the options. Guys act like they care to get sex. Its feigning though some later do start to care but its a gamble us women have to take. I have met very few men who dont do this. Its gotten to the point where even though I love sex, I now associate it with emotional pain (often delayed though...) so I havent been desiring it much lately Edited February 1, 2013 by pbjbear
SJC2008 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Women say they want men with emotions and who aren't only after sex. But if a guy doesn't try to screw her within a month she'll either think he's a V, lacks exp, or isn't into her. It couldn't possibly be because when you have sex too soon the blinders come up and red flags tend to be ignored and the guy wants to wait a little. I'd GLADLY wait 2-3 months for sex but that's not gonna work with most women IMO. She'll be telling her GF's you're a scared punk or something.
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