Been 1 year tonight since my ex and I split

[M30USA]

It happened tonight. A few hours from now. One of the worst nights of my life. I'm just reliving all the events in my mind right now. Wondering how our life could have come to that point. Feeling angry at her still. Wondering if there was anything I could have done to prevent the craziness. As if it's my fault. I still feel guilty even though I know I shouldn't. It was just a mess.

 

Tomorrow my wife was gone at 4am. I know I was the reason she was taken away since I called the cops on her. As if I was the one who caused it. I know I didn't cause it. Yet I still feel guilty that she was taken away. Why? I would have done the same thing if I could have gone back it time. I know I had no choice. But none of this helps my regret and the pain I feel thinking about exactly 1 year ago.

Edited February 1, 2013 by M30USA

[Balzac]

First anniversary dates are emotional mine fields. I know you've suffered and yet give yourself credit for making it to this night.

[Yasuandio]

Man, is it possible you over reacted that night? Jeez. She is a woman - she didn't put a gun on you. Could you own particiption in this drama be what's bugging you? Do you really think it was necessary to have her taken away? Why couldn't you handle? Just saying.....

 

I can see melting down - going to the hospital - but jail? What drove her to this point? There is a causation for any action. There is a reason this is haunting you.

[M30USA]

Man, is it possible you over reacted that night? Jeez. She is a woman - she didn't put a gun on you. Could you own particiption in this drama be what's bugging you? Do you really think it was necessary to have her taken away? Why couldn't you handle? Just saying.....

 

I can see melting down - going to the hospital - but jail? What drove her to this point? There is a causation for any action. There is a reason this is haunting you.

 

Please read my post history. She had a long history of assaulting me. This final time she took a 6 foot long board and bruised me 4 times.

 

Why am I haunted? Why is a woman who gets raped haunted. It messes you up in the head. I don't care if I'm a "man". This made me feel like a beaten animal, sub-human.

 

And it's PRECISELY because of people with your mindset why it's seen as acceptable for women to beat the crap out of their husbands. If I even did to her 1/10th of what she did to me, you would have told her to call the cops on ME. Please see the hypocrisy in your view.

Edited February 1, 2013 by M30USA

[Gunny376]

Didn't even read past your initial post, the other responses?

 

I'm a retired United States Marine Gunnery Sergeant, and all that ensues!

 

I've got myself a case of "institutionalism" AND Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome BIG TIME!

 

Top that with "survivor's guilt" and divorce , etc ad nauseum!

 

But you know what? Despite it all ~ despite all I've gone through ~ going through each and everyday? Despite the Dead Mules and horses I drag around with me each and everyday? Saddle bages and saddle and all through the desert?

 

"FORGET IT!" I'm ALIVE! :laugh: :laugh:

 

If nothing else? I'm living life LARGE for those that I left behind me and saved my azz!

 

I OWE them that! They died to save my sorry azz!

Edited February 1, 2013 by Gunny376

[Gunny376]

Sorry for the rant! Its late here!

 

Just meant to say?

 

Somethings you never get over it ~ you just learn to live with it. Like a mean old dog you don't like and that doesn't like you!

 

But you feed him anyway, because you'er just use to having him around ~ and he's use to having you around!

Edited February 1, 2013 by Gunny376

[Yasuandio]

Please read my post history. She had a long history of assaulting me. This final time she took a 6 foot long board and bruised me 4 times.

 

Why am I haunted? Why is a woman who gets raped haunted.

 

WHAT?

 

It messes you up in the head. I don't care if I'm a "man".

 

WHAT? WHY NOT?

 

This made me feel like a beaten animal, sub-human.

 

And it's PRECISELY because of people with your mindset why it's seen as acceptable for women to beat the crap out of their husbands.

 

Huhh??? Your saying I like women to beat the crap outta their husbands? Duh? Are you having a projection issue?

 

 

If I even did to her 1/10th of what she did to me, you would have told her to call the cops on ME.

 

Poor you. Self-pity is what you need? Ya think?

 

Please see the hypocrisy in your view.

 

Please see the defensiveness in your view.

 

 

 

 

Boo Hoo. Be a man. Gunny up for God's sake. This anniversary business is pathetic. Put it behind you.

[TaraMaiden]

Yasuandio - You are way out of line.

 

Sorry, but you are.

 

M30USA and I may not always see eye to eye, but he was married to a serious psycho.

 

You need to back off.

[Yasuandio]

Yasuandio - You are way out of line.

 

Sorry, but you are.

 

M30USA and I may not always see eye to eye, but he was married to a serious psycho.

 

You need to back off. Oh, my. I am so intimidated!

 

If this is the case, Ms. Tara, then he probably should try not to obsess about a "serious psycho." Do you disagree? Or, could I be way out of line again?!?

Edited February 1, 2013 by Yasuandio
I mispelled "intimidated."

[TaraMaiden]

I wasn't trying to "intimidate" you, and your sarcasm is unwarranted.

 

When you've been subjected to years of abuse, and you have children you need to bring up, it takes a long time to heal from that.

 

Why be so condescending about it? Why condemn or criticise someone simply because they haven't managed to completely move on from what hurts them?

You may have the ability to heal more quickly than they have, but that's no standard to set everyone by.

 

If this was a woman, would you be so critical and unkind?

if this was a woman discussing being struck by her husband with a pierce of wood, and being abused in this way, would you be so condemnatory?

 

Sometimes, you have a point.

 

This isn't one of those times.

[Yasuandio]

I wasn't trying to "intimidate" you, and your sarcasm is unwarranted.

 

When you've been subjected to years of abuse, and you have children you need to bring up, it takes a long time to heal from that.

 

Why be so condescending about it? Why condemn or criticise someone simply because they haven't managed to completely move on from what hurts them?

You may have the ability to heal more quickly than they have, but that's no standard to set everyone by.

 

If this was a woman, would you be so critical and unkind?

if this was a woman discussing being struck by her husband with a pierce of wood, and being abused in this way, would you be so condemnatory?

 

Sometimes, you have a point.

 

This isn't one of those times.

 

Oh, dear. You win. Man picks woman. Women beats up man. Man is pussy. Woman in jail. Man cries. End of story. We will see ya next year at 2014 anniversary! Is that fair enough for you Ms. Tara?

[TaraMaiden]

[Gunny376]

Boo Hoo. Be a man. Gunny up for God's sake. This anniversary business is pathetic. Put it behind you.

The next time you attempt to put another man's intestines back inside of them? Crying your eyes out!

 

Get back with me!

[Yasuandio]

 

I like to see you smile. It is so much more becoming! Like the glittering lips, ya know?

[TaraMaiden]

I happen to think that the OP is being given more flak than he deserves.

And you Gunny, I'm surprised, given that you know how soul-destroying PTSD is, how you can be so dismissive of someone who simply can't deal with something as quickly as everyone else seems to assume he should.

 

Why should there be a time-line?

And why should it be determined or evaluated by others?

periods of recovery take different times for different people.

 

How long did it take for you to get over your PTSD, once diagnosed?

 

Really, this is very disappointing.

But hey, take my comments with a pinch of salt, phukkedif I care. Do what you like.

 

I prefer to take a more understanding approach. It has a more healing and compassionate effect.

 

And this from someone who, as you both know, has earned a reputation for being a no-nonsense ass-kicker.

[Yasuandio]

I happen to think that the OP is being given more flak than he deserves.

And you Gunny, I'm surprised, given that you know how soul-destroying PTSD is, how you can be so dismissive of someone who simply can't deal with something as quickly as everyone else seems to assume he should.

 

Why should there be a time-line?

And why should it be determined or evaluated by others?

periods of recovery take different times for different people.

 

How long did it take for you to get over your PTSD, once diagnosed?

 

Really, this is very disappointing.

But hey, take my comments with a pinch of salt, phukkedif I care. Do what you like.

 

I prefer to take a more understanding approach. It has a more healing and compassionate effect.

 

And this from someone who, as you both know, has earned a reputation for being a no-nonsense ass-kicker.

 

Huh? I was looking at the lips.

[TaraMaiden]

Yes.

 

And?

[Yasuandio]

Thanks for posting the sexy lips on page two. Oh, crap, you changed it!

Edited February 1, 2013 by Yasuandio
She changed the picture!

[TaraMaiden]

Yes.

My avatar now reads:

 

"Can you die from Constipation?

I'm a little worried how full of schytt some people are."

 

[Yasuandio]

Yes.

My avatar now reads:

 

"Can you die from Constipation?

I'm a little worried how full of schytt some people are."

 

 

Actually, I think you are ashamed of those sexy lips you have been posting as your avatars. Now that it has been pointed out to you, the sexy lips are dissappeared forever. Sexy lips are much more interesting than "shytt aand constipation." But, whatever best reflects your image.....

[Feelin Frisky]

A year ago tonight was one of the best in a lifetime. Nevermind.

[GuyInLimbo]

M30, I'm sending you a man hug. Every day heals you a little more. You did all the right things, bro.

[TaraMaiden]

Actually, I think you are ashamed of those sexy lips you have been posting as your avatars. Now that it has been pointed out to you, the sexy lips are dissappeared forever. Sexy lips are much more interesting than "shytt aand constipation." But, whatever best reflects your image.....

 

....So... when you're unable to discuss something rationally, you resort to sarcasm, abuse and rudeness?

And you think that's clever and funny..?

 

Right.

 

Well......It's neither.

It just serves to make you sound immature, sadly.

 

(Correct me if I'm wrong, but English isn't your first language, is it?)

[AlexDP]

....So... when you're unable to discuss something rationally, you resort to sarcasm, abuse and rudeness?

And you think that's clever and funny..?

 

Right.

 

Well......It's neither.

It just serves to make you sound immature, sadly.

 

(Correct me if I'm wrong, but English isn't your first language, is it?)

 

Ultimately Yasuandio has got a point. If you are abused, you often allow yourself to be abused. In the case of a man being abused by a woman this is particularly true, because she holds no physical advantage over you.

 

However, it is also true that some people are psychologically better armed than others. It is only because we go through experiences that we know how to make good decisions. When you're dealing with your first psycho in a relationship, you just don't know what to do. So I understand he allowed it to happen.

 

Another part of me thinks that dwelling on things, understandably, is never a good idea. If you start a sentence with "1 year ago today.." that really says something about your current state of mind.

[TaraMaiden]

Yeah.

And you know me.

I can't stand whingers who bang on and bang on and bang on about things with a woe-is-me attitude.

There are countless avenues a person can and should follow in order to expedite healing.

When they repeatedly refrain from helping themselves and just keep bemoaning how unfair everything is, it does get tiresome, I'll grant you.....

 

I'm merely critical of the tone and language used, and the abrupt form of delivery.

 

For someone who is still living with the influence of his ex- and her parents, on the children, it's a difficult situation to negotiate and keep a level head about.

 

They may have had a point with their comments.

The delivery was heartless and unnecessary.

 

M30USA is not given to whingeing incessantly, so I didn't think his comment warranted quite such an in-your-face response....

 

That's all......

Edited February 1, 2013 by TaraMaiden