idontknow98 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 So, about three weeks ago me and my ex broke up. I broke up with her for no real reason..worst mistake I have ever made. After a week of NC I decide to text her because I was starting to regret my decision. We actually talked and had a normal conversation. So I waited a few days and I texted her again and I sent her this long paragraph about how I felt and I apologized to her...I actually bought her flowers and put them on her front door. She got them and thought they were "beautiful" but she kind of just blew them off. So then she responds to my text and says "I can accept your apology..but I'm not sure if I can give you a second chance so easily" and I say "Okay I'm not sure what to do but I know it was a huge mistake and I learned from it." So here I am today and she is ignoring me. She hasn't replied to me in two days. I need help..what is she thinking?? We had a perfect relationship..like we never had one single disagreement. What do I do? Do I just keep waiting for a reply? Is she just thinking about it? HELP!
Cam116 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 If you had a perfect relationship, and broke up with her for no reason, I don't blame her one bit for being reluctant to give you another chance! If my ex left me for no reason at all and then wanted to get back together, I would be thinking the whole time that he'll just run off again out of nowhere. So, why DID you break up with her? There must be a reason
Author idontknow98 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 I understand. I think I am a total douchebag! I broke up with her because I had just gotten lazy I guess..I mean I love her so much but I guess it was just commitment. But I realize what I did was stupid and I'm not sure how to get through to her about it when she is ignoring me.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Let her breathe a bit. Figure out exactly why you did what you did and then come back at her and be prepared to explain a) why you were stupid to do and b) what you are going to do to make sure you don't pull the "stupid" breakup again. But yeah, breaking up because you were afraid of commitment and then coming back a week later isn't very convincing. I would think you were full of s--t if I were in her shoes.
Author idontknow98 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Thats what I'll do. Me and her have pretty much the same friends and they tell me she actually does think I'm full of it and she is still mad at me for what I did. But thanks for the advice. I guess only time will heal. I just want her to know that I am serious and I really would love another shot at it.
Quest4_TheLost Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Groveling!! Over and over and over. More flowers, perhaps daily. If you really want her back I would be prepared to fight for it. Which means being the complete opposite of lazy. Suprise her, show up outside her window singing stupid love songs, make her laugh. You putting in this much effort will prove that you really know you made a huge mistake and will make her comfortable with taking you back. Prove you really love her and want her back. Words are nothing actions are everything!
Author idontknow98 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Today she finally talked to me...in person. She told me she was afraid to try it again because she thinks I might feel the same way iI did the first time...which I never felt different it was just commitment..I know for sure I wouldn't do it again because I couldn't imagine her and me going through the same thing all over again. What do I do now?
Quest4_TheLost Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 I told you already.. Prove it through your actions. The more trouble you go through to get her back, the more you will prove that you truly are sorry and serious about it. The more likley she is to beleive it.
Author idontknow98 Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 Well she told me not to talk to her anymore so I don't want to come off as desperate and annoying. I know she still is attracted me but she doesnt want any contact. I also think it's kind of selfish though to not give someone a second chance just because you don't want to get hurt again..I wonder if she has ever really thought about I felt. She won't give me a chance to even explain.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 Well she told me not to talk to her anymore so I don't want to come off as desperate and annoying. I know she still is attracted me but she doesnt want any contact. I also think it's kind of selfish though to not give someone a second chance just because you don't want to get hurt again..I wonder if she has ever really thought about I felt. She won't give me a chance to even explain. The fact that you are accusing her of being selfish indicates that you don't have the slightest clue of what you've done. She has every right to be selfish, you are the one who dumped her in a knee-jerk reaction. I don't blame her for not wanting to get hurt -- you basically threw her out but yet are accusing her of not giving a crap about your feelings. You dumped her. What you feel doesn't matter to her, and it shouldn't. You didn't think about what she felt when you dumped, so why should she give you that courtesy? Back off and don't contact her for at least a month minimum. Figure out why you decided to dump her and what you need to do to correct that if you really want her back. If you aren't willing to do that, leave her the f--k alone and let her move on.
Author idontknow98 Posted February 3, 2013 Author Posted February 3, 2013 I'm certainly willing to do that.
GG3 Posted February 4, 2013 Posted February 4, 2013 If I were her, I would be afraid that once you got her back you would start to feel the same way again and not appreciate her. I'm sure it really hurt her and who would want to go through that again. I think what might convince her to give you a second chance, is tell her what would be different THIS time. What will you do differently this time? (and stick to it.)
Author idontknow98 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Posted February 4, 2013 That is exactly what she told me but I can never contact her to explain because she never answers my calls and texts. She told me not to talk to her so I don't really know what to do.
galv Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 If you really want to explain yourself you can email her or send her a letter. She will read it, and you'll have all the space to say what you need to say. After that you cannot contact her again until she initiates.
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