calgary Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I have a feeling that if you got dumped and went no contact, then all you did was heal, and good for you if you are feeling a lot better for it.. but is there anyone out there that can tell me that after a month of no contact, the person who dumped you came running back... just to give everyone going through this terrible time a bit of inspiration and confidence. please check out my other thread and give me advice! Thank you
darkmoon Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 he came back, they've nearly all come back, a chance meeting, a NYE phone call, one seeing me dressed up around, but me feeling no longer in love with any of them...rendering them ALL as dull as can be 1
Still Searching Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I've found, too, that most of them come back at some point, some years later even. As mentioned above, you likely won't feel a thing for them, as you both will be two very different people from who you were when you were together. Not the happy ending you were hoping to hear about, but the purpose of NC isn't to make them want you back... 1
mike588 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I've found, too, that most of them come back at some point, some years later even. As mentioned above, you likely won't feel a thing for them, as you both will be two very different people from who you were when you were together. Not the happy ending you were hoping to hear about, but the purpose of NC isn't to make them want you back... This is sooo true about seeing them..hearing from them way down the road and not feeling your still in love with them because you are a different person. My ex. dumped me for her ex. about a year and a half ago and I was devestated and went thru all the broken heart symptoms. Just recently I ran into my ex. (we saw each other at a distance) and later she e-mailed me just sayin hi. I responded with..it was great seeing you and I hope your happy and life is good to you and that I forgave her for all the hurt and pain...I really have. We still talk on ocassion and have agreed to be friends.....Friends only!! We were friends many years ago before dating. I had moved on and am currently happy with another girl and would NEVER go back to her. The relationship...and the b/u were all growing and learning experiences....it's amazing what time will do.
na49 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 This is sooo true about seeing them..hearing from them way down the road and not feeling your still in love with them because you are a different person. My ex. dumped me for her ex. about a year and a half ago and I was devestated and went thru all the broken heart symptoms. Just recently I ran into my ex. (we saw each other at a distance) and later she e-mailed me just sayin hi. I responded with..it was great seeing you and I hope your happy and life is good to you and that I forgave her for all the hurt and pain...I really have. We still talk on ocassion and have agreed to be friends.....Friends only!! We were friends many years ago before dating. I had moved on and am currently happy with another girl and would NEVER go back to her. The relationship...and the b/u were all growing and learning experiences....it's amazing what time will do. Sign me up for this guy's ending! I can't wait until I'm happy with another girl who I love more than my ex. When I can forgive my ex for hurting me and speak to her on friendly terms with NO feelings at all. Just speak to her, I don't think I'd hang out with her or anything. Haven't gotten there yet though :( 2
mike588 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Sign me up for this guy's ending! I can't wait until I'm happy with another girl who I love more than my ex. When I can forgive my ex for hurting me and speak to her on friendly terms with NO feelings at all. Just speak to her, I don't think I'd hang out with her or anything. Haven't gotten there yet though :( You will get there..believe me...it just takes time...some of us it just takes longer. Not only was I over her but I also didn't want to carry around anger...resentment over her or the b/u. Letting go/forgiving is an important step in the healing process...holding in all that animosity may affect your next relationship and by letting go you free yourself to give your all in your next relationship. I never though I'd get there but it feels sooo good.
Author calgary Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 thank you! I only sat down for a coffee with her 5 days ago. I was just wondering if maybe I should get in touch to fix things. I got a bit jealous about a few things so we broke up. it seems a shame to throw away a good relationship over a few minor things to me, and the scary thing I find with no contact is.. what if she's playing silly games too ?
blotter Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Jealousy isn't a minor thing in a relationship. Jealousy will rot a relationship faster than just about anything.
Addison312 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 He came back after 6 weeks only to break up with me again for the same reasons as the first time, that "he can't be fair to me while he is so stressed and unhappy, and I deserve better." No one to blame this time around but myself, I suppose.
Phoe Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 ....for me, they've ALL come back. Typically anywhere between 2-6 months later. Only once did I give in and take the guy back (BAD IDEA). The most recent example was after being dumped, 6 months of strict no contact (neither of us so much as heard a peep from each other) - he suddenly sees me at a party and grabs me by my arm and tries to forcefully drag me away from some other guy I was chatting with. I ended up having to leave to get away from him, 45 minutes later he's in my backyard shouting up at my bedroom window begging me to come down and give him another chance. My roommates had to force him out. Never heard from him again after that, thank god.
fancy feast Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Yes. I ditched the despondency, and became a god.
Hopeful714 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Here's a NC story with a happy ending... A very nice girl once dated a crappy guy. He pretended he liked her but cheated and lied. One day after catching him in yet another deception she went away. She went to NC land where she cried daily but found friends at the LS. As the days of NC passed, she slowly began to feel better. It took months. Finally, after many many days had passed she didn't care anymore about him. Her confidence was back and she was feeling happy again. She began to date and found someone who was a better match for her. This man was honest and caring and made her very happy. And they dated happily and respectfully............. 3
Author calgary Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Jealousy isn't a minor thing in a relationship. Jealousy will rot a relationship faster than just about anything. yea good point jealousy isn't a minor thing.. holding a guys hands whilst talking to him in front of you isn't a minor thing either.. neither is dancing with a guy all night, and when you offer to buy her a drink to get away from him she goes back to dance with him before you get your change back... you can't ignore that and act like it's completely okay.. so instead you're branded jealous haha.
superb Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Thought the point of NC was for them to not contact you? Not come running back eventually. 1
Author calgary Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 thank you everyone. I hate that other people know how i'm feeling because I wouldn't wish this on anybody. But i'm grateful I found a place full of people who know my pain. I'll let you all know if I ever hear a thing.
superb Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 If someone leaves you and won't talk to you-they shouldn't be allowed to re enter your life again when the time suits them. Lesson learned the hard way but lesson learned anyway.
americangirlfriend Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 A boy stopped talking to me for a month, then came running back to me in a year. Of course I had lost all feeling by that time, so I pretty much did to him what he did to me and ignored him. Now I am with someone else and I'm the happiest girl in the world; he treats me like a princess, and makes my past with that boy feel like childs play. 3
Author calgary Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 If someone leaves you and won't talk to you-they shouldn't be allowed to re enter your life again when the time suits them. Lesson learned the hard way but lesson learned anyway. I like that, good way of looking at it thank you!
Keenly Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 The ex that hurt me the most cheated on me and left me. I stopped talking to her. Eventually I met some one else and fell in love with them.
Author calgary Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 The ex that hurt me the most cheated on me and left me. I stopped talking to her. Eventually I met some one else and fell in love with them. really sorry to hear that. Can't even imagine that pain. 5 days after my break up my ex had gone out with the intentions on hooking up with another guy who didn't show up and didn't like her.. that's the closest I can relate to you. I'm so sorry though. I hate cheaters.
Samilia Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 I have a feeling that if you got dumped and went no contact, then all you did was heal, and good for you if you are feeling a lot better for it.. but is there anyone out there that can tell me that after a month of no contact, the person who dumped you came running back... just to give everyone going through this terrible time a bit of inspiration and confidence. please check out my other thread and give me advice! Thank you Well, even though NC is not for getting your ex back, I'll share my story with you. I dated my first bf when I was 16 or so, after a year we broke up. I started NC without realizing it, it was over so I didn't contact him for something like 3 months or so. Anyway, 3 months later he contacted me and we dated another year. 2
Author calgary Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Well, even though NC is not for getting your ex back, I'll share my story with you. I dated my first bf when I was 16 or so, after a year we broke up. I started NC without realizing it, it was over so I didn't contact him for something like 3 months or so. Anyway, 3 months later he contacted me and we dated another year. Thank you for sharing! that's exactly what I was looking for. I hope the relationship was successful for most of the extra year?
Samilia Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Thank you for sharing! that's exactly what I was looking for. I hope the relationship was successful for most of the extra year? Sure, we were just too young. I don't regret a thing, I have good memories. Oh yeah I do regret one thing.. when we broke up the second time I showed up at the beach where I knew he was going to be. What I didn't know is that his new gf would be there too lol oh well! that's a great memory too!
boblet Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 The ex that hurt me the most cheated on me and left me. I stopped talking to her. Eventually I met some one else and fell in love with them. Did that ex ever come back to you? Did you meet someone only after you were healed? Just curious
Ordinaryday Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Hate to make generalizations but I have read up on this topic A LOT and the general consensus is that nearl all MEN come back at one point and nearly all women NEVER COME BACK. Obviously this does not apply to EVERY SINGLE COUPLE on the planet but as a general rule, it holds.
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