JuneJulySeptember Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I've a noticed from a recent thread that at least a few of the guys here who struggle with women don't put too much stock in looks. I mean, it's not that we'll take anything, we need the gal to be cool, but she doesn't have to look spectacular. Meanwhile, the 'lesser' women we think are attractive, other men are calling disgusting pigs and laughing at them, and women are basically agreeing with them. And those guys don't have any trouble with women obviously. So, what do you think? Should we be more shallow? Should we institute a hard cutoff. I have often mentioned to women that I really don't care much about looks and now I think it is viewed as a major negative.
superb Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I can't believe what I'm reading....*sigh* Yeah be more shallow. Great idea. 2
SteveC80 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 You should go after women you find attractive not women you think are unattractive and desperate enough to say yes Ive never had any problem attracting women but if i did i could never be with someone i had no physcial attraction to at all just so im not alone 2
monicaelise Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I've a noticed from a recent thread that at least a few of the guys here who struggle with women don't put too much stock in looks. I mean, it's not that we'll take anything, we need the gal to be cool, but she doesn't have to look spectacular. Meanwhile, the 'lesser' women we think are attractive, other men are calling disgusting pigs and laughing at them, and women are basically agreeing with them. And those guys don't have any trouble with women obviously. So, what do you think? Should we be more shallow? Should we institute a hard cutoff. I have often mentioned to women that I really don't care much about looks and now I think it is viewed as a major negative. If you're not having any success with women you find unattractive, what makes you think you'll have success with women you (and others) find attractive? What sort of backassward logic is this? I don't know what you look like, but have you considered the possibility that you're pushing women away with your attitude or behaviour? We spend a lot of time telling the girls around here to not be bitter or angry if they want to find a partner, but rarely is that advice extended to males. Every one of your posts literally drips with resentment and cries of injustice. Do you think this is attractive? Even if a man is an Adonis, very few women will want to bother with a man who spends this much time moaning about how unfair the world is. 3
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I don't even know what "more shallow" means. Am I shallow now? I don't know. Maybe my physical standards are too high, maybe they're too low. Beats me, honestly.
DollWelch Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 So, what do you think? Should we be more shallow? Should we institute a hard cutoff. I have often mentioned to women that I really don't care much about looks and now I think it is viewed as a major negative. Yes! Men should be more shallow so that the whole world can go to *****s. While you're at it, break a few hearts along the way; be the biggest douche-bag you can possibly be. [/sarcasm] 1
somedude81 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Yes! Men should be more shallow so that the whole world can go to *****s. While you're at it, break a few hearts along the way; be the biggest douche-bag you can possibly be. [/sarcasm] ROFL! Who's heart is a struggling guy going to break? 2
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 Are you referring to this thread? Yep. You should go after women you find attractive not women you think are unattractive and desperate enough to say yes Ive never had any problem attracting women but if i did i could never be with someone i had no physcial attraction to at all just so im not alone Read the thread. We generally find those women attractive even though THAT PICTURE shows up on like Bodybuilding.com as a gag post, posted by desirable males. I kid you not. I've seen it before. I don't even know what "more shallow" means. Am I shallow now? I don't know. Maybe my physical standards are too high, maybe they're too low. Beats me, honestly. No. You are not. You are very lenient. Pretty much the only guys who thought those two sisters were genuinely attractive were the struggling guys, and it was interesting.
superb Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 At least go out and have a few failures then come complain about it. All I read is worry and speculation with very little experience to back it up. 3
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 At least go out and have a few failures then come complain about it. All I read is worry and speculation with very little experience to back it up. I have had MANY failures and rejections. You really think I sit here and imagine what women are like? I've had GFs too actually.
KungFuJoe Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I have had MANY failures and rejections. You really think I sit here and imagine what women are like? I've had GFs too actually. Did THEY know they were your gf? 1
superb Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I have had MANY failures and rejections. You really think I sit here and imagine what women are like? I've had GFs too actually. I believe that-not geared specifically to anyone. It's not just this thread either, it's others. Men claiming to be emotional creatures but won't talk to women or haven't. Men saying exactly what they want in a woman-but not literally seeking it out. If you guys read and really absorbed what the women say here it could put your mind at ease.
serial muse Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I think you were reading what you wanted to read on that thread. Yes, there were a couple of guys who said they'd never date those women. But this didn't happen: the 'lesser' women we think are attractive, other men are calling disgusting pigs and laughing at them, and women are basically agreeing with them. Anyway, it sounds like you're asking whether, because a couple of guys who are successful with women didn't find those women attractive, that means that not finding those women attractive equals success with women? I believe that's a logical fallacy called "affirming the consequent". Rhetorics experts, please correct me if I'm wrong! 2
SteveC80 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Yep. You are very lenient. Pretty much the only guys who thought those two sisters were genuinely attractive were the struggling guys, and it was interesting. Not trying to be dick but those sisters were down right hideous..The fact you and forty found them even remotely attratcive tells me you guys are so desperate for a women that youll take anyhting thats breathing 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 No. You are not. You are very lenient. Pretty much the only guys who thought those two sisters were genuinely attractive were the struggling guys, and it was interesting. Not trying to be dick but those sisters were down right hideous..The fact you and forty found them even remotely attratcive tells me you guys are so desperate for a women that youll take anyhting thats breathing Well, neither of you really know what I look like. So maybe those girls were right on par with where I am looks wise. I don't know that though. I wouldn't say that I'd be intimidated by those women like I would with a woman who looked like samsung in her thread about being average. I just don't know what kind of woman I should be physically attracted to.
somedude81 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Now if you guys were more shallow, you wouldn't think those sisters were hot. And the world would be at peace once again.
SteveC80 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 . I just don't know what kind of woman I should be physically attracted to. The ones you naturally are attracted to not the ones you think are ugly enough to maybe say yes 2
TheGuard13 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Less shallow? No. Less sensitive, probably. 1
xxoo Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 The problem I see is guys without success complaining when they have to do any "work" in attracting a girl because she's "not so great herself". When I read that sort of thing, yes, I think the guy should go for women who are attractive enough to him that he feels it is worth it to put some effort into attracting her. But if a woman is attractive to you, then I don't understand why it matters what your friends or other guys/women think of her. Even guys who date easily report being very attracted to a certain woman, when their friends don't really see her as a knock-out. Those guys don't care, so why should you care what others think of a woman who you find very attractive? It only matters what you think of her, and what she thinks of you. Everything else is very, very shallow (what others think).
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 The problem I see is guys without success complaining when they have to do any "work" in attracting a girl because she's "not so great herself". When I read that sort of thing, yes, I think the guy should go for women who are attractive enough to him that he feels it is worth it to put some effort into attracting her. But if a woman is attractive to you, then I don't understand why it matters what your friends or other guys/women think of her. Even guys who date easily report being very attracted to a certain woman, when their friends don't really see her as a knock-out. Those guys don't care, so why should you care what others think of a woman who you find very attractive? It only matters what you think of her, and what she thinks of you. Everything else is very, very shallow (what others think). I always worry that I'm not attractive enough for the women I'm attracted to. I could care less what my friends think. I just don't want to go living my life thinking I can attract women I clearly can't...
xxoo Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I always worry that I'm not attractive enough for the women I'm attracted to. I could care less what my friends think. I just don't want to go living my life thinking I can attract women I clearly can't... You might not be able to attract the women you want. But you probably can. You definitely won't if you don't try! I have often mentioned to women that I really don't care much about looks and now I think it is viewed as a major negative. In what context do you share that? Is there any chance it is coming across as "I don't think you are attractive, but that's ok, because I don't really care much about looks" ? Because that would not be a selling point for most women!
Realist3 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 If you are struggling it has nothing to do with shallowness. It has to do with your ability, or inability, to connect with women. 1
yumyumyum Posted February 3, 2013 Posted February 3, 2013 (edited) If you are struggling it has nothing to do with shallowness. It has to do with your ability, or inability, to connect with women. ...romantically of course. I wouldn't say they are completely unable to connect. I can talk to women very well in a FRIENDLY WAY. I have had female friends and connected well in this respect. It is gauging romantic interest in me/asserting my own romantic interest that is difficult. I agree with most of the posts. This idea that there is some kind of objective 'league table' of attractiveness is just silly. For a start, someone who is not physically "attractive" by societies standards...could have a really beautiful or appealing outlook on life......UNLESS OF COURSE YOU ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN LOOKS. Also, physical attraction is subjective. For some unexplainable reason, I often find women with black/middle eastern/Indian skin color extremely physically attractive (compared white women). Many of my friends cannot understand this at all. ...this is not to say that I ALWAYS FIND black/middle eastern/Indian skin women attractive. Nor that I ALWAYS FIND WHITE WOMEN UNATTRACTIVE. ...USUALLY IT IS BASED ON PERSONALITY ANYWAY...SO UNLESS YOU ARE SHALLOW - PHYSICAL ATTRACTION IS JUST SOMETHING YOU CAN USE TO GUIDE YOU....LIKE A STARTING POINT. Edited February 3, 2013 by yumyumyum
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