simon9683blue Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 im new to all thois so please bear with me ,my wife left me on 27-11-2011 after taking advice from her so called friends, she said she wasnt happy and hadnt been for years but she never said anything, she made me tell our 13yr old son on this date ,it destroyed me i couldnt cope ,she made the decision that our son could decide who and when to spend his time with which he chose much to her dissatistfaction to be with me wed,thur night and everyweekend,i felt quilty about this and tried talking to him but he was addement,i did all the things like constantly ringing her crying,my friends got me through this and by april 2012 i was pulling myself together and it was like i was automatically coping,in aug2012 she rang me crying and came round to talk she begged me to give it another go, we had both been living in seperate houses, iagreed and we agreed to talk more about things listen to each other and spend more time together,in the mean time she moved rented propertys and within a week the chap next door to her had asked her out,she told me about this and said he was weird,we started seeing each other staying over at each others houses and spending time together i thought things where going well,she'd told people that things where brilliant she'd asked our friend who rents the house to her if it was ok if i moved in(dec2012) she said she wanted us to spend christmas together which i jumped at obviously, the problem is and i can admit it is im a workaholic and when i got busy from oct - dec we didnt spend as much time together ,she was lonly as all her so called friends deserted her within a month of her leaving,when she came to mine on christmas eve there was something strange about her ,texting alot but acting differently,she slept in my bed,christmas day was good but she dissapeared for an hour to pick something up from her house,she slept in my bed on the night and made love to me,she returned to her house on the boxing day night ,she hardly had any contact with me ,on the following sat i went to pick my son up for him to get in the car and say he had seen her getting in her neigbours car ,i rung her and she said she needed to speak to both of us,i went round to see her and she said things werent right and she'd been seeing him since the 22nd of dec ,this put me in shock,i want her back so much i cant cope ,she constanly rings screaming at me that its all my fault i know shes trying to mess with my head and its working,our son has seen everything that has gone on she has told him we were back together he is so angry with her and doesnt want to talk to her which i feel quilty about aswell,but she hasnt hardly bothered with him since we found out and has been constantly living at his house,the only contact with him has been a few phone calls and texts to call himm names and blame him for reacting the way he has my sons head is a mess and hes gone off the rails at school since he went back,her new boyfriend has threatend my son in the street to stay away from her,and sent him texts telling her to leave him alone,some of my friends have told me that her boyfriend is like this needs a woman in his life brainwashes them gets them to move in with him tells them just to leave there kids and theyll come round , she dropped off her old phone on tue my son came in first from school and looked on it and she'd left loads of messages from him to her and visa versa so this has upset him even more he rung her she blamed him for acting like he is and called him a psycotic fat b*****d ,everything is mine and my sons fault according to her and she takes no responibility people say i should hate her for what shes done and for the way shes treaing our son but im so in love with her i cant cope ,cant sleep cant concentrate at work ,it doesnt hepl that they live 700 yrds away
Quest4_TheLost Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Whenever I read these posts I try to put myself into both peoples shoes. I do understand the part of you working a lot and her not getting the time she needs. But I don't see this as an excuse for the way she has treated you and your son. This woman sounds toxic and she is posioning you and your son. I can't imagine treating my children like this over a guy and OMG, I can't beleive this guy threatend your son and told him to stay away from his own mother. Your ex obviously has some issues she needs to deal with. Does she know about this guy threatening your son?? I'm really sorry your going through this but I'm going to lay it on the line for you. Please do yourself and your son a favor and don't give her anymore chances. This is the time to be focused on your son, I suggest counselling for him. You might want to go get some for yourself aswell. If she is txting your son and calling him names, she needs to be cut off from him completley until she can get her head together. I hate to see parents not in their childrens lives. The fact is though her contacting him like this and acting the way she is will screw with his head a lot more then her disapearing. You need to protect your son he is number 1. Keep records of everything going on incase this ever goes to court for anything. I know how hurt you are but your the adult! So your going to have to be that rock that your son needs. I would contact the authorities about this guy she is with threatening your son and make a complaint. This guy could be just that screwed up to do somthing. Block her from any of your social networks, change your number and your sons. Before doing so, you tell her "I will not allow you to treat our son this way and hurt him by your comments and lack of sympathy for him and his feelings." I also will not allow anyone to threaten him or cause him harm in anyway wether it be mentally or physically." Until you can start acting like a proper mother, its best that you stay away from him. When your ready to put your wrongs right, we'll look forward to hearing from you". As for the guy she is seeing make it CLEAR no matter how much time has passed, he will NEVER be allowed near your son again! Explain to your son that this is whats best for him and get his thoughts on it. Make him apart of the decisioning making process as much as possible. For the most part, let him know your here to protect him and will do so no matter what!! Also if you need help with depression I wrote somthing about it they may help. Contact a Dr. if need be for medication.
Quest4_TheLost Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/369779-depressed-can-t-work-money-low I posted some stuff on this thread about depression here is the link instead of retyping.
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