thembones Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Around Christmas, I saw a picture of my ex and a mutual friend on Facebook kinda close to be just friends. I basically swore off facebook for a month, so I didn't see anything of his on my feed. My other friend confirmed today that she introduced this guy as her boyfriend a few weeks ago. I had my suspicions about them, but they faded away with time. So, she left me for him? I am fine and everything, but now I feel double betrayed. I guess in a way, I'm glad she's with someone who I know will treat her well. I do really just want her to be happy. I see no reason to talk to this guy again. Isn't there a guy code about these things? I don't know how long they've been together, but I'll bet a lot they'll be engaged by Spring. This was the guy who "called randomly out of the blue after we broke up". He was basically support for her and he knows all about why she supposively left me (waiting too long to get engaged). He knows what he has to do and she will say yes, because thats all she wants out of life. He always wanted to be with her and I wonder if she started talking to him before she left me... So I blocked him from Facebook, but kept him as a "friend". Did I do the right thing there? I don't want to confront him, because it would make me look bitter. But I really don't want anything to do with either of them. And I think it's really shady on his part.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I think it's fine to not want to hear or see anything about them. Even if you say your okay there will still be a part of you that dies a little seeing that. If I were you I would be deleting them both completely out of my life.
Author thembones Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 She's already long been removed. Yeah I don't feel I need to see it.. Knowing is enough. But me and her still in the same town. If he is around and I see them, I don't know what I'll do. Oh and he is 34 or so, with no car and he lives an hour away. Real gem she picked.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 She's already long been removed. Yeah I don't feel I need to see it.. Knowing is enough. But me and her still in the same town. If he is around and I see them, I don't know what I'll do. Oh and he is 34 or so, with no car and he lives an hour away. Real gem she picked. lol rebound... And do you really think they will last. I doubt it.
denxnis Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Block them both completely. Email, phone, facebook you name it. I found out that I was not truly moving on until I completely blocked out my ex. It doesn't matter whether or not it looks bitter, you don't want negative/selfish people in your life and removing any possibility of them contacting you is the best way to do this.
TaraMaiden Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Oh Godalmighty, don't be so precious about it! if it's a relationship and it lasts, then good on them. If not, then it went exactly like your relationship. Broke. But don't get hung up on blocking deleting, de-facing, denying and decrying. I think we sometimes put too much emphasis on 'Guy honour' schytt. He's a guy, she's a gal. they happen to both know you. Ugh.... So what? Really, in the great scheme of things - why do people let something like this affect them so deeply? Really, can you analyse it and explain it to me logically? 1
iouaname Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 If everyone was ruled by logic when it came to the matters of dating and relationships and love, this forum would be pretty barren. 2
KatZee Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I would get rid of both of them. By the way, when you block someone on FB, it automatically removes them from your friends list. So he's not a "friend." Not on FB and most certainly not in real life. The first chance he got, he swooped in on your girlfriend. I wouldn't doubt for a second that they were talking before the split. That is shady behavior but I wouldn't say they have the foundation for a great and lasting relationship. All she wants out of life is to be married. Sounds like she doesn't even care who it's with. If they do get married, I'd bet divorce within the first 5 years. 1
MidwestUSA Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 You state you are happy she is with someone who will take care of her. Then, "a real gem she picked, huh?". Which is it? As for FB, delete, delete, delete. As in, your account. Then find a healthy way to interact with others. Best of luck to you!
Mcnulty Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I know how you're feeling, same thing happened to me, friend swooped on her, I was gutted, the schmuck tried to talk to me, i walked away and never spoke to him again, blocked them both on FB and tried to keep my dignity, I suggest you do the same, for YOU. Karma got them in the end, it's funny how life turns out...do the same as I did.
suladas Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 That sucks. It depends how it happened, but if a friend did it to me at best i'd never talk to them again, at worst well we'd have a "friendly" chat about it. If it just happened AFTER your break up, and if he was somewhat of a close friend and asked your permission or at least made sure he was the one to tell you, it would be different and i'd probably be ok with it. I mean if they are happy together and are meant for each other i'd be happy for them. But if it was a friend just trying to get laid or whatever, they'd be lucky if I didn't knock them out. It all depends how close you are though, a close friend doesn't go after another friends ex without clearing it with them first.
Author thembones Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 I don't really care, but I guess a part of me does. It just came as a shock to me at the time. I do truly hope she's happy and am kinda glad she isn't with a true scumbag. Sure he is ****ty for what he did, but he is a good person. I don't wish to have anything to do with either of them, to be honest. Tara - I am not affected so deeply, as you seem to think. This is a forum to post when you are questioning and have some sort of feeling that you don't want to or already expressed to a friend. I think that I just wanted to share my story and get some outside insight, which I am thankful for.
Love Bytes Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Sounds like he's pushing his way in. It won't last. Seen it a bunch of times...
Indio Negrito Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 Umm, if you were in CA and this happened amongst known friends - there'd most definitely be a bare knuckle match, lol...everytime you saw him and if we saw him! ****ing weak sauce! It sure seems like the moral fabric of our evolving society is devolving. I wonder what Kim Kardashian has to say on it - you guys know she's a role model, right - for young and old? 1
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