fortyninethousand322 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I think it's safe to say that in most cases it's men that do the pursuing. An attractive woman can have multiple men pursuing her at any time. Which means that men can face competition during their pursuit, sometimes without them knowing it if the woman isn't open about it. Yeah that's kind of the part I don't like. If I see competition for a girl, I automatically assume the other guy is better so I let him go for it and bow out. 1
Radu Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Men Power ! Or why i think we have it better : - we can have kids later in life - old man/young woman couples don't seem that uncommon - we tend to be more independent than women - we tend to be more logical than women - we do not have to carry babies to term, or give birth - most of the HR departments are populated by women - being the one who initiates in dating/sex can also give us power over the process - no 'that time of the month', no PMS - easier to separate sex from love
monicaelise Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 When a candle burns brighter, it tends to waste away before it's time. Except when it's a candle that can be relit over and over again, sometimes even well before the initial flame has completely died out. 1
monicaelise Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 (edited) Men Power ! Or why i think we have it better : - we can have kids later in life - old man/young woman couples don't seem that uncommon - we tend to be more independent than women - we tend to be more logical than women - we do not have to carry babies to term, or give birth - most of the HR departments are populated by women - being the one who initiates in dating/sex can also give us power over the process - no 'that time of the month', no PMS - easier to separate sex from love I suspect you're just trying to stir the pot with a few of these, but for the sake of this discussion I have to point out that you can only have kids later in life if she (whoever she might be) says so. Also, you have no real control over sex, unless you get the initial green light, so any illusion you might have about that is just that...an illusion. This is something every sub, male or female, knows. No PMS, pregnancy, or birth also means no offspring for you if you don't find someone who is willing to give you one (we can always visit a sperm bank or a bar if it comes down to it). This business of not being able to separate sex from love is a myth, most likely created by men. Women are perfectly capable of separating the two. Also, men are far from more "logical". Logical people don't rape, murder, pillage, etc. When was the last time you saw an "illogical" woman open fire on a bunch of school children or empty a clip into a crowded movie theatre? Dating being acceptable between older men and younger women...well the inverse is true as well. I've only dated one man older than me (a whole year!) in the past eight years. The rest have been 5+ years younger. I love you guys, I just wouldn't want to be one of you. Edited January 31, 2013 by monicaelise
Bristolius Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 The thing that makes it easier for guys is that they know it's ok for them to pursue women. Us women have been given so many conflicting ideas on whether or not we should approach guys, and how brazen we should be about it. It's hard to know whether we should do it or not, and which guys would like and which ones wouldn't. At least if you're a guy, you know it's ok, every time. For some men the message is: Men should approach and initiate. But you should leave women alone. 1
DollWelch Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I'm tired of getting rejected.I agree. I am tired of getting rejected. As a woman I'd be 500% more desirable, just for being a woman. As a man I'd be 500% more desirable, just for being a man. I would have more control of the outcomes. There. I fixed it for you. I don't think I have the right personality to be a man and do well in the dating game. If I had been born a woman, I would have been married to a good guy a long time ago.This is a load of BS. Men have it better. You can thank me later.
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 For some men the message is: Men should approach and initiate. But you should leave women alone. That is very well put. That's exactly how I feel. 1
Radu Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I suspect you're just trying to stir the pot with a few of these, but for the sake of this discussion I have to point out that you can only have kids later in life if she (whoever she might be) says so. Also, you have no real control over sex, unless you get the initial green light, so any illusion you might have about that is just that...an illusion. This is something every sub, male or female, knows. No PMS, pregnancy, or birth also means no offspring for you if you don't find someone who is willing to give you one (we can always visit a sperm bank or a bar if it comes down to it). This business of not being able to separate sex from love is a myth, most likely created by men. Women are perfectly capable of separating the two. Also, men are far from more "logical". Logical people don't rape, murder, pillage, etc. When was the last time you saw an "illogical" woman open fire on a bunch of school children or empty a clip into a crowded movie theatre? Dating being acceptable between older men and younger women...well the inverse is true as well. I've only dated one man older than me (a whole year!) in the past eight years. The rest have been 5+ years younger. I love you guys, I just wouldn't want to be one of you. Funny enough, they were not meant to stir the pot. They were observations made on everyday life in my little corner of the world, stuff i saw whilst travelling and what i read. I can pretty much prove everything i stated there, but then again ... my arguments do not make use of mass killings.
DollWelch Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Women are not interested in a man's problems. You can talk all you want, but they're just not. Never. Not true at all. I believe that is how a man and a woman grow closer to each other, by sharing their problems and insecurities together. I care about people, I'm always willing to listen to them and be there for them. Not sure I can say it is true of men (listening to women's problems) though. 1
monicaelise Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Funny enough, they were not meant to stir the pot. They were observations made on everyday life in my little corner of the world, stuff i saw whilst travelling and what i read. I can pretty much prove everything i stated there, but then again ... my arguments do not make use of mass killings. You know as well as I do that I don't need to use mass killings, there are plenty of other very mundane examples available. These are just the extremes, used solely to make the point that men are not more logical. They commit the most heinous crimes, kill themselves and others in far great numbers, and just basically do a lot more blatantly dumb **** than all of us supposedly illogical women. I say this both as a woman who has seen an awful lot of the world and one who also happens to be the mother of three sons. Anyway, you rock being a man, and I'll rock being a woman. We're both very fortunate to be in the right skins.
Bristolius Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 That is very well put. That's exactly how I feel. I should have written: For some men the message seems to be: Men should approach and initiate. But you should leave women alone You are right, it's how you feel. It's part of the message you give yourself. It's where you started, and your confirmation bias aligns all your experience with it. I wish I hadn't posted this. It was for women to get some understanding, not for men like you to feel worse.
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I should have written: For some men the message seems to be: Men should approach and initiate. But you should leave women alone You are right, it's how you feel. It's part of the message you give yourself. It's where you started, and your confirmation bias aligns all your experience with it. I wish I hadn't posted this. It was for women to get some understanding, not for men like you to feel worse. No, it doesn't make me feel worse. That's just honestly how I feel about it. You pointing it out is fine. It's like pointing out that I'm a white guy with blue eyes. I know it's true.
somedude81 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Men have it better. You can thank me later. So you said I was wrong and did not give any reasons why. Yes, I'm absolutely convinced now.
Granin Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I think your answer is going to vary depending on where you are currently in terms of relationships. Struggling with a hard friend-zoning and not taking it well? Messed up the "pursuit" of a woman you really adored? Rather it was a lot easier and you didn't have to make yourself vulnerable and open to being shot down every time you try and connect with someone? Then you're a guy who'd probably prefer the dating role of a woman, like me. Come back to me in two years and maybe I will have had a period of englightening promiscuity and then settled down with the love of my life, who actually loves me back, and I'll just contently say I'm happy being a man - because I'm happy. 2
AD1980 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Im very shy when it comes to meeting strangers in general but once i get to know you i open up but the fact that im shy at first has killed my chances with women because i rarely approach at all.. It would be much easier if i were a women where id have somebody break the ice for me then get comfortable and show my true personality.. I guess not even just a women if i was just better looking and had women show any signs of interest id be comfortable enough to pursue but i never get those signs..
jakelongot Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I always love when this questions shows up on LS. Personally, I love being a man, but would also enjoy spending a day/week/month being a woman. I would really love to experience the whole phsyical, psychological and social perspective. Speaking to the point however, there is no real "better", just tradeoffs. And it is impossible to truley know because a man will never inhabit a woman's body to truly know...and vice versa. Being a man I enjoy the physical strength, however there is more pressure to work out, have muscles and be strong. Skinny/scrawney or fat are not acceptable. I enjoy being able to be the chaser and choose who I want, it sucks to have to deal with rejection I like being able to sleep with a lot of women and not be labeled a whore, but I hate the pressure from peers to bed a bunch or women and have a high number I like making a larger paycheck and having to prove myself less than society, but I don't like the pressure to be the provider, make decisions, and pay for most things in my dating life. It's great to not have to deal with hair and makeup. It's great being able to look good in something as simple as a shirt/tie/suit. It's a bummer that I can't use makeup if I have a zit or have limited wardrobe choices if I want to deviate away from the standard. I'm sure women have a large list of things just like what I described above like...It's great to be able to have sex pretty much whenever women want, however safety is always a concern and a lot of guys sucks at sex. They might get their rocks off, but you might have the worst sex ever.
veggirl Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 No I met my husband when I was 21 and it wasn't like that. You meet the wrong women. There is no way I would want to be in a serious relationship with someone whom I can't talk to the way I feel I need to (within reason obviously). LOL except you also said if you found out a guy was a virgin (which is what SD and Forty were talking about) that you would run the other way because they are clingy and needy and desperate. So your advice on this subject is....shaky at best......... Only reason I'd like to be a dude is to not get a period. But I LOOOOOOOVE being a girl :) I don't pursue and never would want to.
Author kaylan Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Also, as women...do you guys have any idea how hard it is to be able to decode you guys? Or to have a man chase...then you chase...then if you do have sex...said dude just quits calling. Being a woman is difficult. Especially since we tie emotions to the act of sex. Everything I'm reading about men/emotion/lack of/hiding them/pretending they don't exist/getting laid/not getting laid makes me want to just be celibate. For as much as women claim men are like the things youve said, I know too many guys (myself included) who dont fall under the "emotionless, wants sex only, and doesnt call you later" type of guy. Im thinking many women just have poor taste in men. Its also been my experience that women arent as emotionally tied to sex as general consensus would like us to believe. Ive had only one girl, out of all the women Ive slept with, become more emotionally attached to me after sex. Just one. And Ive had it happen several times where a girl was able to hook up with me, and merely toss me aside despite any connection we seemed to have had. For as much as people say attraction and emotions are different between men and women, I just dont see it. Its all individual really imo. New thread topic?
pbjbear Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 In the end, itd be better to be a guy. Since women usually shouldnt pursue (when a woman pursues aggressively, usually the guy isnt that into her and it doesnt go anywhere or end well) we have to accept whatever comes our way. Some women are lucky and have a wide array of great men hitting on them, but most dont have that. Men can pick and choose who they hit on. Many men hit on any female who is semi attractive but when a male does want a LTR he can still hit on a girl hes 100% interested in. However, its not always easy being a guy. Face alot of rejection (depending on his options...desireable males get fewer rejections), put more effort in the beginning for courting (usually...now its changing more) and sometimes girls arent easy to handle depending on her personality. Ive met some demanding and bitchy girls.
Author kaylan Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 In the end, itd be better to be a guy. Since women usually shouldnt pursue (when a woman pursues aggressively, usually the guy isnt that into her and it doesnt go anywhere or end well) we have to accept whatever comes our way. Some women are lucky and have a wide array of great men hitting on them, but most dont have that. Men can pick and choose who they hit on. Many men hit on any female who is semi attractive but when a male does want a LTR he can still hit on a girl hes 100% interested in. However, its not always easy being a guy. Face alot of rejection (depending on his options...desireable males get fewer rejections), put more effort in the beginning for courting (usually...now its changing more) and sometimes girls arent easy to handle depending on her personality. Ive met some demanding and bitchy girls.The bold happens to guy ALL THE TIME. I dont see why women shouldnt chase what they want instead of waiting for something to fall into their lap. How can you find what you really want or need if you sit around and dont make life happen for yourself? Id say Im a catch and not a bad looking guy, but I dont have too many women I dont know shooting me signals or accepting my own signals. As I said initially...Ive usually dated women Ive met through friends...but maybe I should start taking more risks and approaching girls I dont know at all through anyone.
pbjbear Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 The bold happens to guy ALL THE TIME. I dont see why women shouldnt chase what they want instead of waiting for something to fall into their lap. How can you find what you really want or need if you sit around and dont make life happen for yourself? Every single time Ive had to aggressively pursue a guy they were never into me. Ive done it with shyer inexperienced guys too and made excuses saying "oh hes shy" "oh he doesnt know what hes doing..." when things didnt progress or head towards a relationship...nope. Most guys will not say no to an attractive female's presence but it doesnt mean hes serious about her or really likes her as a person. 1
Author kaylan Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Every single time Ive had to aggressively pursue a guy they were never into me. Ive done it with shyer inexperienced guys too and made excuses saying "oh hes shy" "oh he doesnt know what hes doing..." when things didnt progress or head towards a relationship...nope. Most guys will not say no to an attractive female's presence but it doesnt mean hes serious about her or really likes her as a person. Thats the risk everyone takes when it comes to pursuing someone you like. Either they like you back or they dont. At least you went after EXACTLY what you wanted, instead of waiting around for whatever falls into your lap...which may or may not be everything you want in a mate. What happened to you has happened to me. Ive had girls say yes to dating me...but kept thing very casual. They never said it, but Im sure they had it in their mind in the beginning that they just wanted me for a hookup and nothing more. Thats life I guess....crap happens.
D-Lish Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 As a woman, I don't ever aggressively pursue men- I just never would. I'll give signals if I'm interested- a smile, a lingering look followed by a look away and a look back again... I've struck up conversations with attractive male customers at work- which isn't intimidating because it's part of my job to engage people - so it's not like cold approaching someone. I had to help a customer out a couple of weeks ago-he was super cute- and I joked with him while I was helping him, slipped my single status into a joke... What I got back in return were some nervous laughs mixed with deer caught in the headlights responses. He might have had a gf, maybe didn't find me attractive, maybe was nervous... Who knows- I think I did my part with the signals though. He came to find me to say thanks when he left, and I jokingly asked if he needed me to call for a carry-out (which was funny because he only had one small item)... He didn't get the joke at first and politely said "no thanks" before realizing the joke and nervous laughing again. I left it saying "hope to see you again", he said "me too"... And away he went. Meh- I truly do think I did my part on that one... If I have to work harder than that to show interest- I guess I'm doomed too.
somedude81 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 In the end, itd be better to be a guy. Since women usually shouldnt pursue (when a woman pursues aggressively, usually the guy isnt that into her and it doesnt go anywhere or end well) we have to accept whatever comes our way. Some women are lucky and have a wide array of great men hitting on them, but most dont have that. Men can pick and choose who they hit on. Many men hit on any female who is semi attractive but when a male does want a LTR he can still hit on a girl hes 100% interested in. However, its not always easy being a guy. Face alot of rejection (depending on his options...desireable males get fewer rejections), put more effort in the beginning for courting (usually...now its changing more) and sometimes girls arent easy to handle depending on her personality. Ive met some demanding and bitchy girls. So what do you think is better; being a woman or an undesirable man?
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