TwinkieWinky Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months now and things are perfect I kinda want to move in with him in like another 6-7 months maybe. We live about 45 minutes away and as of now since he started school I see him once a week on Sundays. I wanted to move into town closer to him to start school as well. The thing though he told me was that he didn't wanted have any roommates for the next two years while he finishes school but I'm not sure if that applies to me. But right now he's looking for an apartment and this is gunna be his first time he's gunna be living alone. He was living with his ex because of financial issues and finally couldn't take it anymore so he's moving out and isn't sure if he can afford something on his own. So why not get a place together? We're both gunna be working and going to school. I was previously in a 4 year relationship where we moved in after just two months of dating so I understand everything that comes along with it. The reason I'm asking is because that relationship was completely different than my current one to even compare. So what do you think about all this? Should I bring it up now and see what he says or wait? I just don't want him to feel pressured. And if he says no will it make the relationship awkward?
pureinheart Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months now and things are perfect I kinda want to move in with him in like another 6-7 months maybe. We live about 45 minutes away and as of now since he started school I see him once a week on Sundays. I wanted to move into town closer to him to start school as well. The thing though he told me was that he didn't wanted have any roommates for the next two years while he finishes school but I'm not sure if that applies to me. But right now he's looking for an apartment and this is gunna be his first time he's gunna be living alone. He was living with his ex because of financial issues and finally couldn't take it anymore so he's moving out and isn't sure if he can afford something on his own. So why not get a place together? We're both gunna be working and going to school. I was previously in a 4 year relationship where we moved in after just two months of dating so I understand everything that comes along with it. The reason I'm asking is because that relationship was completely different than my current one to even compare. So what do you think about all this? Should I bring it up now and see what he says or wait? I just don't want him to feel pressured. And if he says no will it make the relationship awkward? Awww love, you may not like my advice, although here goes. Why move in together at all? If you really like this guy, hold out for commitment- real commitment. He will find a way to afford his own place IF that's what he really wants. Personally, I think living together causes relationships to be awkward from the start because one goes from "A" to "C" skipping "B". Good luck to you whatever you choose. Knowing I sound "old fashioned", but being "old fashioned" separates the players from the real deal:) 4
FitChick Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Wouldn't it be better to wait for him to want to be with you so much that he asks you? He needs space now. You sound like you are afraid to live alone. 2
Astra5 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 You sound desperate. I wouldn't recommend moving in together.... 3
Mycteria Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I think everyone needs that experience of living completely alone, on their own, without roommates, before they commit their lives to someone and move in with the someone. I know I did, and I'm so glad I'm on my own right now. Because I knew that if I didn't have this experience, then whatever future relationship I got into would be tainted by the nagging thought of "but I never got a chance to live by myself..." 1
JamesM Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 So you are asking if it is too soon for him to move from his ex's apartment to your apartment? Are you asking if it is okay for you to begin financially supporting him since he no longer wants his ex to support him? Would you not have more respect for him if he could support himself one way or another? Would you not want to be certain that he is the one before letting him move in? Personally, I would have to tell you to be patient. Let him find his own place and be independent of his ex (who I am assuming he had no relationship with). Let him decide if he wants you to move in with him. While you find it hard to believe, six months is really quite soon. You are still in the honeymoon stage. Wait awhile and let the love grow...or not. 1
carhill Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 He's been living with his ex for the six months you've been dating? Hmm.... I would say it's too soon for a lot of things, one of which would be jumping from one cohabiting partner to another, which he would be doing. If he moves out tomorrow, and lives alone for six months to a year, with the two of you continuing to date, then re-visit the cohabitation thing then. 2
veggirl Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Why are you dating a guy who is still living with and having sex with and most likely dating his ex?
pureinheart Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I think everyone needs that experience of living completely alone, on their own, without roommates, before they commit their lives to someone and move in with the someone. I know I did, and I'm so glad I'm on my own right now. Because I knew that if I didn't have this experience, then whatever future relationship I got into would be tainted by the nagging thought of "but I never got a chance to live by myself..." You know, I didn't understand this concept until it was forced upon me, or sorta forced...no kids, no roomates, nothing. IT WAS GREAT! Living with the "ex" for any reason is a red flag to me. I always found a "way". Living by myself was liberating...no drama, no kids and their relationships, noone to take care of but me. 1
TheFinalWord Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I think everyone needs that experience of living completely alone, on their own, without roommates, before they commit their lives to someone and move in with the someone. I know I did, and I'm so glad I'm on my own right now. Because I knew that if I didn't have this experience, then whatever future relationship I got into would be tainted by the nagging thought of "but I never got a chance to live by myself..." Double like. I also think having to live financially independent for a frame of time is beneficial. By that I mean actually having to live off of a salary earned and only within those earnings (not mom and dad income or student loans). It causes a person to mature rapidly.
MidwestUSA Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Guaranteed that an excuse he gives you later, if/when he breaks up with you, will be "I never got to experience living alone" (just reiterating what someone else here said). You need for it to be HIS idea. That HE wants to be with you that much. Meanwhile, he needs to live alone to learn how to handle finances, maintain his own place, etc. You don't want him moving in just so he has someone to take care of him! A man who wants you will juggle the responsibility of his own place with your time together. I know sometimes it seems to make sense from a financial standpoint, but that's not enough of a reason!
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