youngnlove89 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Becomes someone you knew. Out of nowhere, it hit me. It's that cold feeling where your heart just drops and you take a deep breath to remind yourself that you're still breathing. But you could've sworn it was your last. It should've been you think. It's been 41 days of NC (and I literally just counted that). I've been doing relatively well. I smile, laugh, enjoy life, sleep well, eat well, and I am happy. But tonight as I sit here in the middle of four blatant white walls and on a bed made for two, I can't help but think about him. I am moving on, I have maintained no contact and kept him from lurking in my head for the most part. But that didn't stop reality from crashing in. We are both moving on. Going different directions. We both will meet other people and fall in love with someone else. We will both lead a life that no longer involves one another. This is where we say goodbye, this is where he goes his way and I go my way. I will never talk to him again, nor will I see him. He is now the past. A subtle memory that will cross my mind once in awhile, but won't stay for long. Even though it's over, even though they have walked out, even though deep down inside you know they aren't coming back, it hurts when you feel them pulling apart. So in that last glance over your shoulder looking at the past, you take that mental snap shot in your mind, the one that you will always use when you remember them. Those black converse shoes, those worn jeans he always wore with holes in them, that half cocked smile with a slightly arrogant glance... Tonight you’ll feel like nothing has changed, but you know in the morning they won't be there, the one you’ve been missing….will go missing once more. 3
cavalier99 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Yes the whole concept is sorta trippy. Back to the show I'm watching. Will have deep thoughts later...or maybe not. I think that I think that I've ben thinking too much and it is better not to think and these are my thoughts. Cav 1
Allumere Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Beautifully said...you know, I could see song coming out of that (being serious, not sarcastic)
Inviv_girl Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Well, people say time heels all wound. Im not sure about that but I believe it will. We cant erase the memory with them, no matter what they are part of our lives.. in good or bad times. This is normal feeling of human being. If you are sure you won't see or talk to him again, then just let it go.. think he is death and wont coming back. Life goes on... When I remember and miss my father, I am sad and will cry a little but smile again and be happy for him as I know he is in heaven watching me. As for our ex- they dont want us in their life anymore, I think they think us as death person as well, in a hurtful way we also must think the same. Hugs~ you are not alone!
stevie_23 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Reading that made me feel like I couldn't breathe for a little while. Now I am breathing again... That song by Gotye, Somebody That I Used to Know? This was playing a lot on the radio back earlier last year and I always wondered if I'd ever feel that way about my ex...and now, yes. I do. And it is WEIRD.
Author youngnlove89 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 Thanks. Today I am better. But these moments scare me, because during that exact moment it feels like the beginning, the shock I first had when we ended things. I HATE it! I know I am not 100% over it, but right when I think I am, this overwhelming sadness hits me. It makes me wonder if I am just suppressing these feelings without knowing it and that is why it hits me hard sometimes. Because I am holding it in? For LS users who have been broken up for awhile, do you have these reoccuring moments?
cavalier99 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Yes, like a week a go out of the blue i felt an overwhelming sadness at the loss of my relationship. Almost like mourning a death. It was a profound profound sense of loss. I seem to be better now but was surprised by the intensity of the feeling especially after doing well for a while. I never wanted to reach out to her during this..just the cold reality of it being over forever hit me hard.
Author youngnlove89 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 Yes, like a week a go out of the blue i felt an overwhelming sadness at the loss of my relationship. Almost like mourning a death. It was a profound profound sense of loss. I seem to be better now but was surprised by the intensity of the feeling especially after doing well for a while. I never wanted to reach out to her during this..just the cold reality of it being over forever hit me hard. That's exactly what happened to me. And now today I am fine. I think it was just a glimpse of reality. I almost, for a second, thought I would be starting over again. I don't want it to happen again. I want to be happy. I want to move on. 1
LostGirl11 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Your threads always make me cry. He isn't coming back, we're strangers again.
Author youngnlove89 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 Your threads always make me cry. He isn't coming back, we're strangers again. Oh no. I'm sorry I guess it's just when I write them, I am sad.
LostGirl11 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Oh no. I'm sorry I guess it's just when I write them, I am sad. I actually want to thank you. I haven't been able to cry. (You can read my tread 'Crying') I've had the constant weight in my chest and horrible ache in my throat but the tears wouldn't come. And now they have... Not sure if I feel better or worse yet. My eyes are sore, my head hurts and my face is all blotchy and all I want is him.
316 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Wonderfully said, OP. It's crazy how someone can go from being the most important person in your life to a complete stranger in such a short time span... Your post reminded me of this video... Watch it when you get the chance. It's long but it's extremely moving and a very realistic portrayal of how relationships really are.
denxnis Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Even though it's over, even though they have walked out, even though deep down inside you know they aren't coming back, it hurts when you feel them pulling apart. The best things in life never come easy. These experiences, although difficult, teach us a lot and only improve our chances of marrying the right person someday. I hope. I don't know about you but I would rather go through these heartaches now if it means finding the right one and not having to go through a divorce someday. 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Wonderfully said, OP. It's crazy how someone can go from being the most important person in your life to a complete stranger in such a short time span... Your post reminded me of this video... Watch it when you get the chance. It's long but it's extremely moving and a very realistic portrayal of how relationships really are. Wow. Thank you for showing me that video! That made me so sad. But it is DEAD on. That is the cycle of a relationship. That should be a video everyone watches here!
Recommended Posts