Gibson_Girl Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Does anyone have any first-hand experience in dealing with depression and how it affects the one you love and by default, how it makes you feel? I need some helpful ideas, please.
stevie_23 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Well, sort of. I've never been clinically diagnosed as being depressed, but I am on anti-depressant / anti-anxiety meds right now, to help me over my recent BU. In any case, I think I've always been prone to slight depression and moderate anxiety, but 5 years ago when my partner and I moved to where we currently live, the depression got much worse. I loved our old place, and was NOT happy living where we do now. (I'm still not) It was hard for me to get out of bed in the mornings, I would wake up and lie in bed, crying. I complained ENDLESSLY about every little thing about living here. I lost motivation to make music, which I'd always loved doing before. I couldn't be bothered doing much on the weekends. I'd just have naps on the couch all afternoon. It got very hard for my partner. She was always patient and I haven't been THAT bad for about 2 years now, and I've basically stopped complaining and crying about it and all that (we've had our property on the market for a year, trying to sell it to move to a place we love, but it's hard in this economy), but she's said previously that she is looking forward to when I'm happier again and back to my old self, so she can be happier too. That makes me feel pretty guilty, I must say. I try not to burden her anymore with it.
Mcnulty Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 The hardest thing for someone depressed is to keep all lines of communication open, to be honest and make the effort continuously...and that's what a relationship needs to keep going...it's bloody hard, I was depressed, lost her and now look back and think, "i don't blame her", as I didn't do the above things, c'est la vie, you live and try to learn.
Stillalive1 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 (edited) I was depressed too,didn't realized until she dumped,me... Than i analyzed things and admitted to myself there was a problem... The only thing u can do is encourage the depressed person to go to a psychologist... U can't fix him,but encouraging to search for professional help it's a great thing...but say things only if u really mean them... Don't illude...cause it happened to me that i ve been illuded and it was devastating,i still have trust issues... try to google how to cope with a depressed partner... Edited February 1, 2013 by Stillalive1
KathyM Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 People who are depressed often have symptoms such as wanting to sleep a lot, feelings of hopelessness, wanting to isolate themselves, lack of interest in others or things that they used to enjoy doing. That can make a spouse feel helpless as to how to interact with them or help them. The best thing you can do is to see that they get counseling, which has been proven to be very effective in reducing depression. A counselor may also decide to put the person on an anti-depressant temporarily, and will be in a position to give them the treatment they need. You, as their spouse, won't be able to "talk them out of their depression" or cheer them up, so don't feel it is your responsibility to try to change his mood. The only thing you can do is see that he gets counseling for his depression. Depression is actually the #1 reason people seek counseling. Please see that he gets it. It's not likely he'll just snap out of it on his own.
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