Trapped96 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 The only problem is I don't know how to back out of it. We usually dared each other and then get paid somewhere between $5-$30 (depending onthe dare) but this time I feel this has gone too far. Our conversation went along this line: Friend 1: You know I haven't try this dare on you Trapped96 Me: What dare? 2 other friends: Do you know Juan? Me: Yes, what about it? Friends: We dare you to date pizzaboy (that's what they called him, I don't) for 1 month for $20. Me: Can we do something else? I don't think he's ugly but he's not my type. I don't like the idea of doing dares involving people. Friends: all of them kept insisting and pressuing me into this till I gave in It's been 2 weeks so far but he's not really my type and to be honest he does have moderate acne (not bad but still, it's obvious), seems kinda chubby and not too humorous. But this is starting to get serious and he's like telling me some of his personal secrets. I like him as a person, friend but not as a date. I just want to get out of his dare. It wasn't my idea. Is there a way I can back out of it in the least painful way? If I were to tell him the truth, he's going to probably hate me forever or I'll have the reputation of a user and have trouble falling asleep. If I don't, he'll wonder what's going and my friends (they don't always keep secrets and at times seems mean to others) will spill the beans.
Author Trapped96 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 Or should I just continue dating him (hoping he doesn't ask me to be his gf; I feel this is going to happen at some point and then I won't know what to say) and try focusing on his other aspects? Cancel the dare and tell him the truth, even the ''You're not my type'' part and have me hate me forever? I don't like the idea of ruining someone's self-esteem. I don't want to continue this dare.
CC12 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I don't like the idea of ruining someone's self-esteem. Then don't pretend to be interested in someone because your friends dared you to. What's wrong with you? Look, this doesn't have to be some big production. Tell him you're no longer interested in dating him and break up with him. Then never speak to him again. Then tell your idiot friends to keep their 20 bucks and that you're not going to toy with people's emotions for their amusement. Don't tell this guy anything about the dare. That would be beyond hurtful. And, you know, rethink your choice of friends and what you're willing to do in order to seem cool to them or whatever. God damn. 4
Leigh 87 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 You should be ashamed of yourself. He may not appear to be a great catch to you or your friends, or most people for that matter, but to someone else, pizza boy will be the love of their life. To the right women, he will be perfect. He is capable of making a women very happy. He does not need you to feel sorry for him or waste his time! 3
darkmoon Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 (edited) you wrote - "I just want to get out of his dare. It wasn't my idea" you are doing the dating of him you are the perpetrator Edited January 31, 2013 by darkmoon 2
TaraMaiden Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 How old are you Trapped96? Please say 9...... 2
biggulp Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I think some people's points are, this should not come down to a dare, his feelings need to matter more at this point. just keep your distance, don't let your friends pressure you, you never know the emotional state of this boy you're pretending to like so in that sense, it's very very not funny.
Leigh 87 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 It is disturbing how she can treat him like he is a joke. That is what they are doing; they would not have to dare her to go out with a "hot", sought after guy.. ...But they dared her to date this guy because it would be "funny" to watch her with a "loser" of a guy who deliverd pizza, and had acne:sick: This guy is a human being, and he has no less to offer in a relationship than all of you. Why is it funny to date a guy because he has pimples and is a nerd or a loser or indesirable? What makes you guys any "better" than him? Have a think about all this.... Deep down, why do you think people like him are a laughing stock? ... you know what, you could get fat! You could get a thyroid condition, or worse still, breast cancer: people with breast cancer sometimes need steriods, which makes their weight BALOON..... What if you gained weight for medical reasons? What if your hormones got out of whack, and you got acne? You know that you would not appreciate it, if a guy was dared to go out with you then...
darkmoon Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 if he became furious and gave Trapped96 a sock in the jaw for mocking him - she would have nobody to blame but herself
Leigh 87 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 By the way, I HATE turning down a dare. Please have a think about what you have done. Look, I know it is natural, and ingrained in every young person, that the "pimply pizza boy" is not exactly a great catch. Therefore, it would be "funny" to date a guy like that, because in our culture, guys like that are undesirable and therefore make for a funny dare (to date them) I recommend trying to think outside of what your friend and what society deems as entertaining. When it comes to people and their feelings, why not build your character and become a better person by REFUSING to comment or partake in anything that is negative?
baRx Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I'll never understand what's wrong with people. Just like everyone else said, you should be ashamed of yourself and appalled at the people you're calling your "friends" - you think this is some kind of game playing with people? Don't say no, because you agreed to it. "They all insisted and pressured me!" So do drug addicts, but plenty of people say no to that.
MidwestUSA Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 "I'll have the reputation of a user". Done, already there. How DO you sleep at night?
Author Trapped96 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 I'll never understand what's wrong with people. Just like everyone else said, you should be ashamed of yourself and appalled at the people you're calling your "friends" - you think this is some kind of game playing with people? Don't say no, because you agreed to it. "They all insisted and pressured me!" So do drug addicts, but plenty of people say no to that.To be honest, sometimes I have a feeling my friends are talking about me when I'm not around. I say this because every time I got to go but come back, they're all quiet and or just look at me and smile. I once said ''What's so funny'' and they were like nothing, we were just remembering something, nothing. I can't really trust them to keep secrets and I'm guessing they are going to tell Juan about the dare, even if I don't say it to avoid hurting him. It's going to be bad news either way. In addition, those are the only friends I got.
Author Trapped96 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 "I'll have the reputation of a user". Done, already there. How DO you sleep at night?I couldn't sleep well since day 1 into the dare. I have wanted to dump my friends for quite some time. I'm sick of their conversation; the same thing everyday. All they talk about is the latest fashion, new clothes, who is the hottest guy and who isn't, rumors and other stupid topics. Thing is I have no problems keeping Juan as a friend. I feel more comfortable talking to than my friends. I don't know why I'm even friends with them. I just don't want to become a loner a guess and sometimes have trouble saying no. 1
Author Trapped96 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 So do drug addicts, but plenty of people say no to that.I did said no plenty of time but they kept going at it. One of them even told me I wouldn't join in anymore if I didn't accepted the dare.
Author Trapped96 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 How old are you Trapped96? Please say 9......I'm 17...will be turning 18 on August.
MidwestUSA Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Some friends! I'm guessing that they have a bet among themselves regarding you going through with this pathetic dare, and are laughing at you. Find some new friends and better ways to entertain yourselves.
Author Trapped96 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 Some friends! I'm guessing that they have a bet among themselves regarding you going through with this pathetic dare, and are laughing at you. Find some new friends and better ways to entertain yourselves.I have been thinking about that too. I have this feeling they're laughing at me right now but act nice when I'm there else why do they stop what they're talking about when I happen to return. I have no other friends but them. I dump them and I'll be alone. I'm not very popular, well only because I'm friends with them. I guess I might as well send every one of them to hell, even if that mean being a loner afterwards for a while.
normal person Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I couldn't sleep well since day 1 into the dare. I have wanted to dump my friends for quite some time. I'm sick of their conversation; the same thing everyday. All they talk about is the latest fashion, new clothes, who is the hottest guy and who isn't, rumors and other stupid topics. Thing is I have no problems keeping Juan as a friend. I feel more comfortable talking to than my friends. I don't know why I'm even friends with them. I just don't want to become a loner a guess and sometimes have trouble saying no. Let this be a lesson to you. Juan isn't a willing participant in your game but somehow you've made it so that he's the only one who stands to be hurt by it. If you do like him just as a friend, tell him that you've decided you just prefer him that way and you're sorry for giving him mixed signals. If you have any class you'll do that, tell your friends to shut up, give them the $20 and accept the forfeiture of it as a penalty for thinking you have the right to treat a completely undeserving person like that. Also, tell your friends to grow up. 1
MidwestUSA Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 As you are soon to turn 18, doesn't this give you a crossroads in life? I.e. college vs high school, or a job? Take this chance to do some maturing and move on. Apologize to Juan in any way you see fit, because it seems you do have something in common - being the butt of jokes by others. Good luck.
Author Trapped96 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 Let this be a lesson to you. Juan isn't a willing participant in your game but somehow you've made it so that he's the only one who stands to be hurt by it. If you do like him just as a friend, tell him that you've decided you just prefer him that way and you're sorry for giving him mixed signals. If you have any class you'll do that, tell your friends to shut up, give them the $20 and accept the forfeiture of it as a penalty for thinking you have the right to treat a completely undeserving person like that. Also, tell your friends to grow up.Thank you. Today I skipped lunch with them on purpose. Interesting part is when they saw me, they didn't even ask ''Where have you been'' nor seem concerned. They just talked to me as if nothing happened. I think that was the last straw. They don't care about me either. I'm a joke to them just like Juan is. I'm going to send all of them to hell tomorrow.
Author Trapped96 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 Apologize to Juan in any way you see fit, because it seems you do have something in common - being the butt of jokes by others. Good luck.Yeah, I'm pretty much a loner without them. Actually now that I recalled, I didn't started as out as a friend to them. It was a dare they told me 4 years ago and that's how I got accepted. Other than that, at the time I would at times see them harrassed this kid or making another girl cry. I'm guilty of standing there and doing nothing. I guess I've always been a bystander but it no matter how funny they were trying to be, I just kept wondering ''What's so funny about making someone feel terrible''. 1
normal person Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Everyone makes mistakes and there's no shame in it. Yes, you've made one but at least you have the conscience to try rectify it. If you do the right thing you'll feel much better and make new, better friends as a result.
melodymatters Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 If this was an 80's romantic comedy, you and Juan would band together and figure out a cool way to play them all like fools ! The above poster was right : join different clubs, get a part time job, get ready for college, whatever, you WILL meet new and better people. Don't let these azz-maggot-mean girl-c*nts **** with who you are deep inside. BELIEVE ME, once high school is over, it's a whole new ball game and no one gives a flying f*ck what happened at Sweet Valley High school circa 2013 !
LFH Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 To be honest, sometimes I have a feeling my friends are talking about me when I'm not around. I say this because every time I got to go but come back, they're all quiet and or just look at me and smile. I once said ''What's so funny'' and they were like nothing, we were just remembering something, nothing. I can't really trust them to keep secrets and I'm guessing they are going to tell Juan about the dare, even if I don't say it to avoid hurting him. It's going to be bad news either way. In addition, those are the only friends I got. They are talking about you, becuase girls (and guys) that are mean are really mean to everyone. Go watch the movie "Mean Girls" if you haven't seen it. Or better yet, "Heathers" or "The Craft" You're one of "THEM" right now. Is that who you want to be? It's better to be alone than with people who you don't want to be like. You'll be judged by the company you keep, especially as you grow up.
Recommended Posts