She's still in love with me

[SendHope]

Hi all,

 

Me and my now-ex girl have broken up and I'm devastated D: . The reason for the break-up was that she wanted to do anything she wants without having to take me into account. It was my first relationship and it was a wonderful 9 months.

 

It's been hard for me to initiate NC because she keeps telling me that she still loves me that way (but obviously she values the freedom more). I feel so lovesick and she insists that we become friends. I kinda want it too but I know it's no good for me. I'm hurting so bad and I feel like she's just doing her thing without missing a beat.

 

Just venting. I wanna have the courage to do this NC

[Inviv_girl]

If she "loves you" she wouldn't break up with you. Better stay away and NC. She wants to stay friends to make her lesss guilty for dumped you.

[na49]

I don't think she's "in love" with you. She might still "love" you and care about you. I think this is probably the case because of how she wants to be your friend. She doesn't want to lose you from her life completely, but doesn't want to be with you either. How do you feel about that?

[SendHope]

I hate it. You guys are most likely correct and that's what I've been thinking as well but I can't help myself but cling to hope.

 

I hate this. Everytime I get a text message I hope it's her. And as the time ticks day, I get depressed at not having heard from her. She's in my dreams. I'm afraid of running out of things to do and I'll have a moment to think. I feel so helpless.

[iouaname]

I've been in the same situation, and my greatest regret was not immediately going no contact and sticking with it, at least for a decent period of time.

[Am313]

It's a part of life, buddy. Virtually every single person that you meet has gone through EXACTLY what you are at one point.

 

My ex when I was 17 did this. It was my first love and it tore me up. Seemed like the end of the world. I moved on and nearly a decade later we're friends (with benefits ). If its any consolation, she made sporadic contact throughout the years but I was too busy building my life and becoming an adult to give her any of my attention. I was more important to me than she was. You'll get to that point eventually, I promise. But you can't rush it or force it, and no amount of advice will make things easier or get you from here to there. You just have to let time do its thing.

 

Point is that it's going to happen at some point.

 

It's OK to cry over spilled milk, so long as you eventually stop crying and clean up the mess.

Edited January 31, 2013 by Am313