Author Coping Vortex Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Yes you guys are right. I was hoping I could drift away as NC was driving me insane. But it dies take two to tango and I can't let myself be contacted when she feels nostalgic. I'm not sure if she is fighting to keep away and falling back herself or she really has nothing left for me. Based on what she had said in the last few weeks I would say the former. I posted about us meeting up for lunch a few weeks ago. She hugged and kissed me hard and we even had sex. I know what she felt. I know could see how she still cared through the tears. I think she feels she has come too far with her new guy and can't turn back. She even said I was her kryptonite. Tells me she still knows she has some feelings and knows we could have still been together. Trust me the reason we are apart has nothing to do with feelings. It was our situation. She acknowledged that, she said she only slept with this guy to get over me after the BU. I know the guy fell in love with her in weeks and kept up the full court press. I guess too much time went on before I tried to reconcile and she was already part of his life.
Author Coping Vortex Posted February 1, 2013 Author Posted February 1, 2013 Vortex, I still don't understand why you'd want to be with someone who has already slept with another guy. I understand missing having someone there...but you're still feeding her ego knowing she's already been touched sexually from another guy. I don't know what you mean. I'm in my 40's not many virgins in my age group. Lol! I don't care about that other guy. Every relationship you have with someone is unique to them. I know how we were together. If we had reconciled I wouldn't have cared about her having sex with anyone else apart from our relationship. Unless if she cheated on me. I did like that she said I'm better in bed than him though. Lol. She was married when I first met her. I knew her husband. She had sex with him. I guess that stuff matters when you are younger. You will find as you get older and mature people have had many relationships by that time. Maybe pervious marriages kids etc. That stuff doesn't matter when you're older.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 I don't know what you mean. I'm in my 40's not many virgins in my age group. Lol! I don't care about that other guy. Every relationship you have with someone is unique to them. I know how we were together. If we had reconciled I wouldn't have cared about her having sex with anyone else apart from our relationship. Unless if she cheated on me. I did like that she said I'm better in bed than him though. Lol. She was married when I first met her. I knew her husband. She had sex with him. I guess that stuff matters when you are younger. You will find as you get older and mature people have had many relationships by that time. Maybe pervious marriages kids etc. That stuff doesn't matter when you're older. I think he meant in between the break and your attempted reconciliation, not before the break.
na49 Posted February 1, 2013 Posted February 1, 2013 I see a pattern here. You don't hear from her for a few hours and think "She's gone. She'll never contact me again. It's over and I'm going NC" Then she contacts you and you get delusional again. You think that staying in contact is the only way to rekindle the "love" that you two shared and that she will realize how awesome you are because you'll constantly be talking to her, and be there whenever she wants you to. Do you think that is really attractive to her? The guy who is okay being a second option, who would love to chat with her about some TV show and be her emotional tampon? You seem pretty hung up over specific things that she told you. Probably because it gives you some hope that she still has feelings for you. I wouldn't believe everything she tells you though, this girl is crazy. but when she tells you something like "I don't love you anymore" I'd take her word for it. She hasn't shown you any reason to believe different and probably won't. She also doesn't have to. She's not with you anymore.
cdt76 Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 you've now officially made her your drug of choice. every time you need a fix, you'll contact her. you're never off the drug if you don't stop using. you can't just "use meth on the weekends" and not be a drug addict, can you? You are so right. Oh lordy.....I'm freaking addicted. I want to cut out my veins!
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Posted February 2, 2013 No, it's perfectly sufficient if you just 'cut' the 'phone line. Go NC, Stay NC. Survive.
Author Coping Vortex Posted February 2, 2013 Author Posted February 2, 2013 I got a text from her yesterday. She said her phone died for good and she just got a new one. She texted a little here and there and she said her parents were over and it was hard to text. In reality her parents were there so they could babysit so she could spend the weekend with her bf. A friend of mine that reached out to her during the first week of the BU showed me texts she wrote to her about how much she loved me and I was her world etc. tough to read those texts now. Maybe if I moved sooner it could have been saved. Too late now I really really need to move on. I am going NC once again. Maybe this time I will stick to it. My track record is bad. 1
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