Savina Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 When my fiance and i met 2yrs ago i was engaged to another man but broke off the engagement to be with him, We always had a fiery relationship but i love him so much. We mostly argue after we've been out with friends, He says that when im dancing with my girlfriends im acting like a slut which really pissed me off i wanted to hurt him after that so when a random guy started talking to me, i was having a laugh with him, My fiance pulled me away & accused me of flirting, When i tried to tell him i wasn't he got angry and told me to behave myself and that i was disrespecting him and to knock it off" Because i was drinking i felt 'brave' and started to insult him, he'll held my chin, put his head level with mine not saying anything just staring at me, When i tried to push him away, he pushed me against the wall, he then punched the wall and left, but when we cool off our love is very intense. Like Yesterday i had a day off and woke up after he'd left for work, he came home at lunch time saying he couldn't stand the fact that he hadn't had sex with me since the day before and sometimes says things like hes gonna have to get me pregnant to keep me from going anywhere.My bff says we are two people who love each other but don't belong, we know how to push each others buttons. She also thinks he acts the way he does because he does not trust me or other guys around me and that he has issues separate from our relationship but the relationship itself triggers him, that he believes if he can wear me out with alot of sex, i won't stray. She also said i was stupid for pushing his buttons to get a reaction. I know he doesn't trust me because of how we began seeing each other and thinks i'll do the same to him and me acting like i do doesn't help. I love him so damn much and i want this to work out for us, I could never imagine leaving him so apart from counseling is there anyway to fix this ourselves? Advice would be great.
superb Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 This sounds like a very toxic & dysfunctional relationship. Don't get married and get on birth control.
veggirl Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 You both sound crazy and extremely immature. You have been engaged 2x in 2 yrs?! I think that speaks for itself... dysfuction does not equal passionate awesome relationship. Yours is just dysfunctional. Describing it as "passionate" is a cop-out, you're just using euphemisms to make it sound good. 3
superb Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 You both sound crazy and extremely immature. You have been engaged 2x in 2 yrs?! I think that speaks for itself... dysfuction does not equal passionate awesome relationship. Yours is just dysfunctional. Describing it as "passionate" is a cop-out, you're just using euphemisms to make it sound good. Passion doesn't = violence either and thats where this is headed.
betterdeal Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I love him so damn much and i want this to work out for us, I could never imagine leaving him so apart from counseling is there anyway to fix this ourselves? Advice would be great. Why do you disregard counselling? It's not 100% effective, but may be worth considering.
veggirl Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 If you love him so much why do you purposely do things to piss him off? You got mad at him so you flirted with another guy at the bar and then denied it. What's the point of s.hit like that? Honestly? 1
KungFuJoe Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Your fiance sounds like he DOES have issues outside of the relationship. Anger and confidence issues. How much do you know about his past? Former partners? How does he treat his parents?
Drseussgrrl Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 You both need to seriously grow up. You're not ready to be married.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Honey, things that start off bad in relationships almost always get worse. They don't get better. Nowadays however there is medication but that's a choice only a person can make for themselves when they accept responsibility for being emotionally out of whack. If you are not guilty of the behavior he thinks you guilty of you might want to put it on him to get help. If he just rages on, get out of that relationship. I fought a lot with my ex fiance but she always started it. But I was high strung enough to fall right into fighting with her. I eventually dumped her and saw a shrink for myself. And the medicine has helped me ever since to exercise some choice over my feelings rather than just have them bowl me over where I'd get ticked off that I had to feel that way when I just wanted to enjoys being a happy couple. Your b/f is at the mercy of his fight or flight response. And that's dangerous for a woman. 1
Recommended Posts