Want to move in with my boyfriend. How do I tell my Parents?

[ricecat7]

I will be graduating high school in May! (hooray!) and after that I plan on getting my medical coding/insurance billing certificate. It will take 9 months and I will be taking the classes online. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 11 months (will be a year this March) and we love and care for each other deeply. We have basically spent everyday together this past year. He will be working at a local mine starting in May. He graduated last year (May 2012). We have decided we want to continue our relationship past high school.

 

But how do I tell my parents? I'm not sure what their expectations are of my future. I will be turning 18 in March, should I do it then? We aren't planning on moving in together until Summer 2013.

[darkmoon]

why aren't you actually marrying? are you planning on separating?

 

if you were my daughter, I'd draw the distinction between you both sharing a renting a shared flat til argument doth you part and between sharing your life with a man who has not proven that he can take proper care of my girl if she falls pregnant

 

so what's the issue that is stopping you from being a legally protected live-in love?

 

it's even worse if you are going to live in his flat without your name on the legal paper-work (a red flag) and clean it all when it does not belong to you and never will (two red flags)

Edited January 30, 2013 by darkmoon

[ricecat7]

why aren't you actually marrying? are you planning on separating?

 

if you were my daughter, I'd draw the distinction between you both sharing a renting a shared flat til argument doth you part and between sharing your life with a man who has not proven that he can take proper care of my girl if she falls pregnant

 

so what's the issue that is stopping you from being a legally protected live-in love?

 

it's even worse if you are going to live in his flat without your name on the legal paper-work (a red flag) and clean it all when it does not belong to you (two red flags)

 

 

We don't Have the money for a wedding? Trust me, weve talked about it. And I don't need a piece of paper telling me I love someone. He's also giving me a promise ring in march. Your advice does not help me at all, but thanks anyway.

[veggirl]

Why do you need to move in with him? Why don't you move in with a girl friend, a roommate, and he can visit etc? You are 18 yrs old (er, almost). Will you both sign the lease? What if you break up, who will move out? Will you be able to pay for an apartment alone if you break up?

 

Sorry but it's a terrible idea.

 

how will you even get approved for an apartment?

 

I work in property management...you don't even know how many teen couples come through these doors...and then months later come in asking about breaking the lease cause they broke up. Just get a roommate....honestly.

[clia]

I also think it's a terrible idea, but, to answer your questions.

 

But how do I tell my parents?

 

"Mom, dad, Bill and I are going to get an apartment together."

 

Expect them to be disappointed. But hey, you're an adult now, right?

 

I'm not sure what their expectations are of my future.

 

You haven't talked to them about it at all? Ever? College? School? Nothing?

 

How do you plan to pay the rent? How do you plan to pay your tuition? If you are depending on your parents to pay either of these...well, you might want to consider another alternative if you are dead set on moving in with your boyfriend. Don't be surprised if they refuse to help you out.

 

I will be turning 18 in March, should I do it then?

 

I would wait until closer to summer.

[ricecat7]

Why do you need to move in with him? Why don't you move in with a girl friend, a roommate, and he can visit etc? You are 18 yrs old (er, almost). Will you both sign the lease? What if you break up, who will move out? Will you be able to pay for an apartment alone if you break up?

 

Sorry but it's a terrible idea.

 

how will you even get approved for an apartment?

 

I work in property management...you don't even know how many teen couples come through these doors...and then months later come in asking about breaking the lease cause they broke up. Just get a roommate....honestly.

 

Yes we will both sign the lease. Right now he is only making $10.75 an hour. And like I said, he's getting a job at a platinum mine. He will be making $24.80 an hour, working 40 hours a week. Trust me, I've done the math. I also have a part-time job for now, making $8.65 an hour, which will increase to full time once I graduate. Combined, he and I haves saved up $1,403.60 for this summer when we move out. We are still adding to that every paycheck we get. Not worried about financial issues.

[ricecat7]

I also think it's a terrible idea, but, to answer your questions.

 

 

 

"Mom, dad, Bill and I are going to get an apartment together."

 

Expect them to be disappointed. But hey, you're an adult now, right?

 

 

 

You haven't talked to them about it at all? Ever? College? School? Nothing?

 

How do you plan to pay the rent? How do you plan to pay your tuition? If you are depending on your parents to pay either of these...well, you might want to consider another alternative if you are dead set on moving in with your boyfriend. Don't be surprised if they refuse to help you out.

 

 

 

I would wait until closer to summer.

 

My parents and I aren't close. The last time they told me they loved me was July 5, 2008 when I fell off of my horse.

Sorry I don't know what they expect.

Read my reply to the second comment, it explains how I'm paying for the apartment. And my tuition is paid for from my grandfathers savings account, who passed last spring. Not worried about financial issues.

[darkmoon]

My parents and I aren't close. The last time they told me they loved me was July 5, 2008 when I fell off of my horse.

Sorry I don't know what they expect.

Read my reply to the second comment, it explains how I'm paying for the apartment. And my tuition is paid for from my grandfathers savings account, who passed last spring. Not worried about financial issues.

 

we on Loveshack are probably more caring than them, sweetheart xx

you decide what to do, just tell them - cuz you are a legal adult nearly

I wish you all the best

Edited January 30, 2013 by darkmoon