aaklilu Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Hi All, I would like your experience and honest opinion on my breaking up situation. We have been together for nearly 9 year now and its my fault that I have left is this long for us to be serious or be a married couple and I was hesitant of taking our relationship into the next level. The reason for my hesitation was not because I didn't love her but simply my life was not at the stage that I would have planned it would be. After completing Uni I went back again because I chose the wrong choice and I had the thought we have been long enough so I will not lose her and didn't prioritize my relationship. So she thought I dont care about her although the opposite was true and I was trying to regain my feet by prioritizing other aspects of my life education work and once I sort this out will pick up my relatioship. However she had the thought I wasn't interested and she started acting cold for a long time I didnt pick this up as she is getting me out of her system but just to seek my attention and I realized when she said she is ending the relationship. Tried to explain to her but the time has passed. its been 3 weeks now and I know I shouldnt have done it but was acting like a child and begging her to forgive me ad give me a chance to make things right. She has now started seeing someone else probably started dating him around new year and I can hear them talk talk send each other text messages. and asked her if we still have a chance she said may be about 20% but the relationship is over and wanted me to give her space. Its very hurtful to see a person you loved for a very long time and lost because of your own fault give the attention love and care that was once yours to someone else. I preferred to stay in the house when she is talking because I wanted to get used to it and convince myself that its truly over, however I shouldn't have done this as instead of getting over it it made me wanted her more and act very out of character which isn't desirable if to rekindle the relationship that is if the 20% is a real chance. I am now leaving to go abroad in the next week or so for six months and I don't know what to do? Do I tell her the day I am leaving on the phone is she picks up or text her is she doesn't? Or go to her place the day before my travel and talk to her to rethink about our relationship even if she is seeing someone new and that my love for her is undeniable and will leave my heart open after she had taken all the time that she needed to think about it? Or ask her to drop me in the airport well in advance before my travel date and tell her what I said on the above paragraph? Your advice is greatly appreciated and Thank you all for reading my problem and replying your advices. Many Thank you.
Chi townD Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Does she even know you're leaving? Hell, she's being so disrespectful to you and the relationship you once had by talking and texting this new dude IN YOUR PRESENCE!!! That's frickin LOW! I wouldn't even tell her I'm leaving. I would just go and see how long it would take for her to notice I was even gone. If it takes weeks for her to even notice, well, you have an idea where you stood on her priority list. Time to heal and move on, dude! Enjoy seeing the world! It's an awesome place to visit!
Author aaklilu Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 Thanks Chi townD, The breakup was entirely my fault and I admitted it to her but she has moved on and added that she has moved on longtime she was with me to learn how not to love me and I don't know what to say to that. But saying that she was testing me with some actions and see if I still have love for her and looking back I understand she was trying everything possible to make the relationship work but I was blind at the time to her actions and efforts. She would ask me to go to her friends place and I would say no. Not because I didn't want to but because I had dissertation for Uni to write ans she would take this as me being cold or not wanting her I should have explained and communicated clearly but because of our lengthy relationship I took her for granted hence my admittance to all the faults. I badly wanted her back but the ball is not on my court any more and I just have to hope for the best. I have thought all possible scenarios and I dont thing there is even a possibility not even the 20%. But being in love I try to be optimistic and if its meant to be it will be. She lives in my house and I didn't want to be nasty by asking her to leave even if she is doing it in my face. I see the time we had and don't want o end it in bad terms and be optimistic may be she might comeback. I don't know what to do, she knows I am leaving but not when. Thanks again
Chi townD Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Well, screw it then! She dumped you and moved on, you owe her nothing. She's seeing someone else, and rubs your nose in it. You need to tell her she needs to get her sh*t out of your house in the next few days because you're leaving and you're not going to give her a place to "shack up" with this guy in YOUR home. Because if you do do this. That's EXACTLY whats going to happen. This dude is going to be staying at your place and I wouldn't be surprised if she gives him a key two or three months down the road. She doesn't want you anymore, fine! Get the hell out! You need to start moving on with your life and stop clinging on to 20% of false hope.
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