You don't have to be tall to get a woman

[PJKino]

The fact that we even have to mention a 5'8" getting women as special says a lot in itself.

 

5'8" is an inch or two below average.

 

Seriously how shallow have women gotten to where they have to point out a man an inch under average height can find a women to date him:laugh: wow give women as a gender the nobel peace prize

[ThaWholigan]

Most women that have been in my social circle ive overheard say theyd never date a guy under 5'10 and these are short or average sized females..

 

Look at how many women on twitter have disdain for short men https://twitter.com/expsnghghtsm

 

Nobody is saying short men cant get women there isnt enough tall guys to go around..all were saying is say 8 out of 10 women wont date short guys so the few percent who will thats just to get your foot in the door with the height issues then the a few percent of women who dotn care about height she still has to like your face physique personality etc

 

It is much much harder for short men and can be a pain in the ass especially for sensitive people like me who hates beign rejected

 

I cant change it..it is what it is but being of average height or tall opens doors up to a much bigger pool of women

I showed some of my short friends that twitter, and all but one of them laughed about it . I was more enraged than they were.

[charlietheginger]

If he wasnt a celebrity or on t.v he would

Just be another short guy shopping in the grocery store

[kaylan]

Its twitter yall. Take it with a grain of salt.

[SteveC80]

A women with better options will pick the taller man.A shorter man might be able to get a women after several rejections but hes not getting any really good looking women.

 

Ive heard what most women think of short men and lets just say no offense to short men but im glad i dont have to go through what you go through women are brutal

[MalachiX]

I haven't been on these forums for a while and I'm a little startled by all the topics I see like this.

 

Some people have trouble finding dates and there are a variety of factors that lead to this. No single thing (be it height, weight, hair) is enough to completely destroy your dating life but certain things can make it more difficult. I really don't understand why people make threads where they say, "Stop saying your problem is _______. Personality is all that matters! I know friends who also are _______ and they get tons of dates!" Do you really think that this makes people having difficulty dating feel good about themselves? Do you really think you're changing anyone's mind.

 

Maybe some people focus on insigifigant things about themselves in order to avoid their real issues but I'm willing to bet that a lot of people who say, "my weight/height/income hurts my dating chances" are saying this because they've been given a lot of evidence to back that up.

 

I'm a fairly short guy and I'm not sure exactly how much it plays a part in my dating life. That said, I've had a number of female room mates who had online dating accounts (as did I) and often spoke of them. Here is a phrase I'd hear them say dozens of times in one form or another, "This guy just messaged me again. He seems really nice and funny but he's only 5'8 and that's just too short!" Now, I don't think all women are as focused on height as my roomates are and I don't think my roomates are bad people for having a height preference. That said, it's clear that a lot of women I know are less likely to go out with shorter men. You're free to google any of the countless studies that show how we as a society seem to have more trust/respect/love for taller people. Why would dating be any different? Feel free to look at the link below:

 

Articles by Jonathan Rauch: <b>Height Discrimination: Short Guys Finish Last</b>

 

As far as Peter Dinkage goes, your comments come off as naive and a little condescending (no offense). I have a feeling that if you asked Peter Dinkage if he's had just as much romantic success as he would if he was 6 feet tall, he'd probably say that he'd have better luck if he was taller.

 

I don't know Peter personally but I do happen to be friends with several people who were born with dwarfism and are his height or shorter. Of those three friends (two men, one woman), every one of them has expressed some form of frustration in how hard their height makes dating. They try not to let it hold them back but it's there and I don't think they'd appreciate someone going up to them and saying, "Hey! Your height issues are all in your head. I think Peter Dinkage is hot so that proves it!"

 

Allow me to make my point in an even more extreme way. I have a very close friend who spends most of his time in a wheelchair and, as a result, is overweight. He can walk for short distances but, even when he stands, he's only about five feet tall. He doesn't talk much about his love life but I know I get more dates than he does (as I've never seen him with anyone in the passed three years). Now, if things just came down to personality, my friend would have more dates then he knew what to do with. He is one of the kindest, most secure, and most wonderful people I've ever met. I feel so fortunate to have him as a friend and I constantly try to emulate his mature attitude on life. Simply put, HE HAS AN AMAZING PERSONALITY AND IS AN AMAZING PERSON. But, at the end of the day, it still seems like it's much easier for me to get a date. If my friend was out of his chair, six feet tall, and had a slimmer body would he have suddenly be a ladies man? I don't know. Would it be easier for him to date? OF-****ING-COURSE!

 

Look, I get annoyed by some of the cynical men on these forums as many of you do. It drives me nuts when I hear someone say, "women are super shallow these days and won't give you the time of day unless you're tall, rich, and handsome!" To pretend to understand half of the people on the Earth with such a broad generalization is silly.

 

That said, there are undeniable trends that occur in our modern realm of dating. I know personally too many women who act horribly offended when they hear of a guy dumping a women for something physical but have no issue with ignoring men because of height.

 

Some people simply have trouble dating because of certain things that are out of their control. Pretending that it's all in their heads and they should just get over it doesn't help. It makes them feel worse.

[serial muse]

Some people simply have trouble dating because of certain things that are out of their control. Pretending that it's all in their heads and they should just get over it doesn't help. It makes them feel worse.

 

This whole post is a good post and quite true in many respects. I make no bones, as I said earlier, about the fact that at one time I was much more sympathetic to people posting about this issue than I am now. In fact, I still am sympathetic to those who post about it in a personal way, and certainly to anyone who wants to talk about their difficulties IRL.

 

It's when it's followed up by this - as you point out:

 

It drives me nuts when I hear someone say, "women are super shallow these days and won't give you the time of day unless you're tall, rich, and handsome!" To pretend to understand half of the people on the Earth with such a broad generalization is silly.

 

that I just can't be bothered to feel sympathy anymore. We all want our experiences validated, yes. But it's too often these same dudes who piss all over the experiences of women on LS who want to talk about their own struggles, and claim such struggles are nonexistent/aren't as difficult/don't matter/whatevs. Meh.

 

And you know, you bring up your anecdotal evidence, those Twitter feeds are anecdotal evidence...well, I, too, have brought up anecdotal evidence, as have many LS women, not to suggest that such trends don't exist but in the interests (as Treasa said) of pointing out that it's not hopeless and that not everyone thinks that way. You would think this would be a message of hope, but it isn't, because these guys don't want messages of hope, they want to be told that they have no responsibility in their own dating lives.

 

I have basically been told that my experiences either don't count or that I have misrepresented them somehow, because when you're unhappy it's necessary to characterize other people in the worst light possible, I suppose.

 

My point is, I'm weary of this. Come here and post about your personal struggles and I'll support you. Use it as a platform to point fingers at a bunch of women you don't know and then ask people to roll with that because you're in pain so you should get away with it and I will tell you to take a hike. That's really all there is to it. You get out what you put in.

 

As far as Peter Dinklage - I agree that his experience is not going to be representative of others with dwarfism, because the man is quite talented and funny and attracted in multiple ways, and yes, as a result of all that, he's also successful now. So, he's got that going for him. Jerk.

[somedude81]

If Peter had the personality and charm of a normal man, he'd wouldn't get anywhere with women.

[veggirl]

I read the OP and then had to google who "Peter Dinklage" is (after I Loled at the name....DINKLAGE?) and all I have to say is very unattractive, even height aside. I think it's super cool he is a vegetarian though!

 

and sorry but I think you're lying if you think that guy is more attractive than Ryan Gosling. Or maybe you are the one in a zillion that does, but I honestly would bet all the money I have that, no the # of women who are attracted to Ryan Gosling/Brad Pitt (I think that's who you mentioned originally) is not equal to the # that are attracted to Dinklage.

 

Anyway I'm not sure how pointing out MAJOR EXCEPTIONS is really helpful. Like hey if you are an unattractive midget, well no worries there is still a one in a million chance you could get an attractive woman.

 

I don't think anyone has ever said no woman will ever date a short guy. Is it harder for some short guys to get dates...yeah...do women often go on about how they like guys 5'10+...well yeah....do the majority of women prefer tall or short? well probably tall but I guess I don't have stats. Is 5'8 considered short? no so people should stop using that as an example as a "short man" who gets tons of hot women.

[Bristolius]

I think Treasa's a peach. She had a kind, positive message without a bit of snark. And as some posters here have proven, no good deed goes unpunished.

[somedude81]

I think Treasa's a peach. She had a kind, positive message without a bit of snark. And as some posters here have proven, no good deed goes unpunished.

I don't think anybody has anything against Tereasa.

 

The issue is that she basically said, X celebrity with (attribute) can get women, so all men with (attribute) can get women as well.

 

Obviously that statement is very flawed.

[silicone]

I dated a guy for two years who was four inches shorter than me.

 

I was determined to not let it bother me. And yet, we had to admit at long last that the relationship wasn't working largely because we both felt uncomfortable with the height difference. By the end, we didn't even go out in public.

 

Then I immediately started sleeping with this big tall (and, okay, sort of dumb) guy who outweighed my ex-boyfriend by a solid 100 pounds and I felt, frankly, relieved.

 

You know, after everything I've been through, it's still easy to undo everything that was done.

[ThaWholigan]

I don't think anybody has anything against Tereasa.

 

The issue is that she basically said, X celebrity with (attribute) can get women, so all men with (attribute) can get women as well.

 

Obviously that statement is very flawed.

She was trying to gee you guys up, but obviously you guys are content to keep bitching, so carry on.

[veggirl]

She was trying to gee you guys up, but obviously you guys are content to keep bitching, so carry on.

 

It's kinda patronizing.

[ThaWholigan]

It's kinda patronizing.

It didn't really warrant the response it got though. The least that could have been done was an appreciation for the effort. She wasn't trying to make them feel bad or patronize them - she was trying to motivate them and at least inject some positivity so that they wouldn't be so down on themselves like they always are. Something I have been trying to do almost the moment I came to this forum.

 

It gets really boring - and it's the same people all the time. I think it's equally as patronizing to have our efforts thrown back into our faces.

[silicone]

It didn't really warrant the response it got though. The least that could have been done was an appreciation for the effort. She wasn't trying to make them feel bad or patronize them - she was trying to motivate them and at least inject some positivity so that they wouldn't be so down on themselves like they always are. Something I have been trying to do almost the moment I came to this forum.

 

It gets really boring - and it's the same people all the time. I think it's equally as patronizing to have our efforts thrown back into our faces.

 

The one thing I know is that your experiences, will - by default - override what anyone says to you.

 

It's how I ended up overdosing last year.

[veggirl]

It didn't really warrant the response it got though. The least that could have been done was an appreciation for the effort. She wasn't trying to make them feel bad or patronize them - she was trying to motivate them and at least inject some positivity so that they wouldn't be so down on themselves like they always are. Something I have been trying to do almost the moment I came to this forum.

 

It gets really boring - and it's the same people all the time. I think it's equally as patronizing to have our efforts thrown back into our faces.

 

Yeah I get that. That's nice you all keep trying though. I wouldn't.

[MalachiX]

My point is, I'm weary of this. Come here and post about your personal struggles and I'll support you. Use it as a platform to point fingers at a bunch of women you don't know and then ask people to roll with that because you're in pain so you should get away with it and I will tell you to take a hike. That's really all there is to it. You get out what you put in.

 

Serial Muse, I don't think we really disagree on anything. Once again, I'm ashamed of men who come here and use bad experiences to speak poorly of all women. Human beings are strange and wonderful creatures that have the ability to act in a variety of ways and can never be written off purely based on sex. I understand the frustration with so many overly negative threads.

 

What I find troubling is that a lot of threads I've seen since I came back to these forums (in the last few days) have gone to the opposite extreme. Rather than preaching a message of hope, they seem to trivialize legitimate challenges that people have in the dating world. Here's an example of something that kinda rubbed me the wrong way:

 

Ok, I've been skinny. I've been 270 pounds. I've had periods where I look like people took turns beating me with the ugly stick. I've never had a problem getting a boyfriend if I wanted to, or even getting attention. My personality has always been very strong.

 

Maybe it's just me but, when I personally read that, I start to wonder about people who have had these issues that perhaps haven't been quite so lucky in finding relationships. Are we to think that every overweight or "ugly" girl who has trouble getting a boyfriend simply doesn't have a "strong personality?"

 

Isn't it possible that certain difficulties manage to hinder some people more than others and some simply have a greater challenge overcoming issues with their weight/appearance/height? I know women who have amazing personalities but have trouble with relationships for a number of reasons which have nothing to do with who they are (in many ways, life can be as hard for a tall girl as it is for a short guy).

 

Everyone is different. One of my best friends from college was good looking, in great shape, and VERY funny/charming. Despite this, he had worse luck with women than I did. He only had two relationships of any kind in his whole life and he married the second girl he dated. He's a great guy but, for whatever reason, something just didn't work for him. That doesn't mean that he didn't try or that he didn't have a good personality (like I said, he's hilarious and super-charming).

 

All I'm saying is that I think we sometimes go to the extreme of making people feel like there is something wrong with them because they aren't able to do well in romance.

 

On a personal level, I'll say the following: I'm in my late 20s and I've often struggled with relationships. Not counting a rare make-out at a party or a bad first date that went no where, I can say I've had relationships with about five or six women in my life. With the exception of one long term relationship (which lasted three years), the rest have been short (1-3 months) and far between. I certainly have better luck than some men but I have become aware that I seem to be worse than a number of friends of mine who are similar in age and looks.

 

I bring this up not to ask for sympathy but to simply try to explain why some statements can be infuriating. The thing that drives me nuts about friends over the years is when they express disbelief at how few relationships I've had. I don't mind so much when someone says, "You havn't had a girlfriend in a year? That's so hard to believe. You're super-funny and pretty good looking." What bothers me is a statement like this: "Dude, you're charming and attractive. You're just not trying hard enough. If you wanted that girl you could easily get her. You just aren't putting in enough effort." Even worse is the following statement, "Dude, I used to be overweight and didn't have nearly as cool a job as you and I still got tons of women. It's easy!" When I hear stuff like this, even though I know it is well-inttentioned, it still hurts. I wish it didn't. I wish I could say that it rolls off my back I know they're trying to help but it hurts.

 

I think there are a wealth of things that determine how someone does with relationships. I even think there are some people who are just talented at romance in the same way that others are just talented with music or dancing. As in music or dance, people who don't have a natural sense of rhythm face an uphill battle.

 

All I'm saying is have some empathy for people who, for whatever reason, havn't been as lucky as others have.

 

As far as Peter Dinklage - I agree that his experience is not going to be representative of others with dwarfism, because the man is quite talented and funny and attracted in multiple ways, and yes, as a result of all that, he's also successful now. So, he's got that going for him. Jerk.

 

Dude, Peter Dinklage is so charming/cool/talented that I'd date him I'd also go for Neal Patrick Harris, Jon Stewart, and Michael Fassbender for the same reasons. Hmmm...maybe I just figured out why I have trouble with women....

[Treasa]

It's kinda patronizing.

 

I'm not a liar. I do think he's much more attractive than Ryan Gosling or the others I mentioned. You haven't seen him act in Game of Thrones. But that's neither here nor there.

 

I think the fact that you called him an "unattractive midget" says much more about you than it does about anyone else.

 

And telling people that they're more likely to attract someone if they're positive and happy and confident is patronizing? Yeah, ok.

[serial muse]

It's kinda patronizing.

 

I mean, I get that Peter Dinklage isn't a great example. On the other hand, over the years many real-world examples - whether those of posters themselves or first-hand knowledge of their friends and relatives - have also fallen on resentful ears, and I wouldn't classify those as major deviations from the norm. They're real and true and they're not about super-rich or successful guys.

 

Yes, it's harder for short guys. But lots of short guys get dates, have relationships, get married. So where are we then?

 

If someone comes here to post that they're short and it's because all (or if they think to throw the XX gender a bone, they'll say "most") women are shallow, there are a limited number of response options. Anything nuanced gets swept away in the wild waves of LS one-upsmanship.

 

In that context, a thread about Peter Dinklage seems quite appropriate, IMO.

[TheGuard13]

Yeah, after GAME OF THRONES, I'M attracted to the man.

 

Treasa, where in the Midwest are you?

[Treasa]

All I'm saying is have some empathy for people who, for whatever reason, havn't been as lucky as others have.

 

Hmm. Ok, I grew up in poverty, endured abuse and sexual molestation by my father who then abandoned me, had my share and MORE THAN my share of bad relationships (attracting people doesn't mean you attract good people or that it will last), have had huge, recurring issues with anxiety, panic attacks, and depression, failed several classes my first semester in college, couldn't even leave the house at one point for five months straight (as in even couldn't step outside my door), etc..

 

Empathy is exactly where my post came from. I choose to get back up again and again and be happy and love myself despite anything that happens in my life or any mistakes I make.

 

I am not perfect. But I'd rather be happy. I CHOOSE to be happy. If you think this is something that came easily to me, you are mistaken. It didn't happen until I was 37, and took several months just to start to see differences. But now I am able to stay happy regardless of what happens.

 

Your thoughts affect your emotions. Your emotions affect your actions. Your actions affect the world.

 

Change your thoughts. Or don't. You can choose not to be happy, but it's not going to affect how I feel.

[serial muse]

Serial Muse, I don't think we really disagree on anything. Once again, I'm ashamed of men who come here and use bad experiences to speak poorly of all women. Human beings are strange and wonderful creatures that have the ability to act in a variety of ways and can never be written off purely based on sex. I understand the frustration with so many overly negative threads.

 

What I find troubling is that a lot of threads I've seen since I came back to these forums (in the last few days) have gone to the opposite extreme. Rather than preaching a message of hope, they seem to trivialize legitimate challenges that people have in the dating world. Here's an example of something that kinda rubbed me the wrong way:

 

 

 

Maybe it's just me but, when I personally read that, I start to wonder about people who have had these issues that perhaps haven't been quite so lucky in finding relationships. Are we to think that every overweight or "ugly" girl who has trouble getting a boyfriend simply doesn't have a "strong personality?"

 

Isn't it possible that certain difficulties manage to hinder some people more than others and some simply have a greater challenge overcoming issues with their weight/appearance/height? I know women who have amazing personalities but have trouble with relationships for a number of reasons which have nothing to do with who they are (in many ways, life can be as hard for a tall girl as it is for a short guy).

 

Everyone is different. One of my best friends from college was good looking, in great shape, and VERY funny/charming. Despite this, he had worse luck with women than I did. He only had two relationships of any kind in his whole life and he married the second girl he dated. He's a great guy but, for whatever reason, something just didn't work for him. That doesn't mean that he didn't try or that he didn't have a good personality (like I said, he's hilarious and super-charming).

 

All I'm saying is that I think we sometimes go to the extreme of making people feel like there is something wrong with them because they aren't able to do well in romance.

 

On a personal level, I'll say the following: I'm in my late 20s and I've often struggled with relationships. Not counting a rare make-out at a party or a bad first date that went no where, I can say I've had relationships with about five or six women in my life. With the exception of one long term relationship (which lasted three years), the rest have been short (1-3 months) and far between. I certainly have better luck than some men but I have become aware that I seem to be worse than a number of friends of mine who are similar in age and looks.

 

I bring this up not to ask for sympathy but to simply try to explain why some statements can be infuriating. The thing that drives me nuts about friends over the years is when they express disbelief at how few relationships I've had. I don't mind so much when someone says, "You havn't had a girlfriend in a year? That's so hard to believe. You're super-funny and pretty good looking." What bothers me is a statement like this: "Dude, you're charming and attractive. You're just not trying hard enough. If you wanted that girl you could easily get her. You just aren't putting in enough effort." Even worse is the following statement, "Dude, I used to be overweight and didn't have nearly as cool a job as you and I still got tons of women. It's easy!" When I hear stuff like this, even though I know it is well-inttentioned, it still hurts. I wish it didn't. I wish I could say that it rolls off my back I know they're trying to help but it hurts.

 

I think there are a wealth of things that determine how someone does with relationships. I even think there are some people who are just talented at romance in the same way that others are just talented with music or dancing. As in music or dance, people who don't have a natural sense of rhythm face an uphill battle.

 

All I'm saying is have some empathy for people who, for whatever reason, havn't been as lucky as others have.

 

 

 

Dude, Peter Dinklage is so charming/cool/talented that I'd date him I'd also go for Neal Patrick Harris, Jon Stewart, and Michael Fassbender for the same reasons. Hmmm...maybe I just figured out why I have trouble with women....

 

I don't disagree with a word you've written, up to and including the bits about NPH, Jon Stewart, and Michael Fassbender.

 

Honestly, I'm a very big fan of empathy, and I wish there were more of it on these boards too. I am just wearied of offering it to those who demand it from others but don't have a clue what it is. Clearly you don't fall into that category, though. I think we're on the same side. Please, take this bunny:

[Treasa]

Yeah, after GAME OF THRONES, I'M attracted to the man.

 

Treasa, where in the Midwest are you?

 

Wisconsin. Later peeps.

[D-Lish]

The last two guys I've dated have been slightly shorter than I am- and I'm 5'7". Height doesn't matter much to me.