Uniguy20 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 First off: this isn't meant to be some whiny tirade, I genuinely am looking for some advice. I'm an average looking guy, was never massively popular (not that it matters) but have never had any problems. I used to coast in and out of relationships as you do when you're a teenager then got in a serious relationship. 3 1/2 years of constant argui-I mean bliss We worked out we weren't meant to be and split up, had a few more relationships then she comes back saying she wants a fling which as I'm single at the time I don't see the problem with (I'm naive). To cut a long story short turns out she was with a bf at the time and she was just being a bit of a *****. My confidence was knocked as it made me doubt whether or not she could have been cheating when we were together. I got over all that with the help of my amazing mates and thought I was out of the forest... But now I've entered a desert... Seriously, I'm signed up to quite a few dating websites but no girl is interested. Here's a link to my POF profile... Wantalaugh20 Clubbing, jogging, reading, rugby. Please be brutally honest if I'm doing it horrendously wrong. I've gone on a few dates and met a few girls in clubs but it either fizzles out or they turn out to be bunny boilers... I still have my standards intact thank god. I know most guys have periods of being single but I've never been a one-night stand kind of guy and my confidence was knocked by aforementioned ex so much that I find it hard to approach nice looking girls in normal places like the library etc. Anyway my 21st is coming up and I really would like a serious or serious(ish) relationship to help my confidence. Any advice would be highly welcome. I know I probably just need to get over what happened, believe me I'm over her, it's just knowing you could have been lied to for however long. So yeah... That's about it people, please be nice... First post!
pbjbear Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 First off, POF is a horrendous site for anything other than casual sex, hookups and Friends with Benefits. Very few quality people on that site. If you are into online dating, I would look into okcupid.com and some paid services. I find with those sites you get what you paid for. Still some bad people on paid sites, but in my experience not as many. Why do you have "looking for nothing serious" on your profile? If you want to start out slow when seeing someone, you should put that in your profile. You sound like you want something substantial...your profile doesnt reflect that. I joined pof.com for 6 months I immediately passed on anybody who seemed like they only wanted something casual. That means anything other than "looking for a relationship" or something else with the added addition of "I would like to get there but not jump in..." Dont meet girls at clubs and bars. I dont date men I meet there anymore...its the same as POF. Very few good quality people who wanted anything other than something casual. There are always exceptions but generally I find this to be true Or are you just not having success getting laid? If thats what you want, look at PUA techniques. I aint into that stuff but the men on this site think it works in terms of getting laid
Author Uniguy20 Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 First off, POF is a horrendous site for anything other than casual sex, hookups and Friends with Benefits. Very few quality people on that site. If you are into online dating, I would look into okcupid.com and some paid services. I find with those sites you get what you paid for. Still some bad people on paid sites, but in my experience not as many. Why do you have "looking for nothing serious" on your profile? If you want to start out slow when seeing someone, you should put that in your profile. You sound like you want something substantial...your profile doesnt reflect that. I joined pof.com for 6 months I immediately passed on anybody who seemed like they only wanted something casual. That means anything other than "looking for a relationship" or something else with the added addition of "I would like to get there but not jump in..." Dont meet girls at clubs and bars. I dont date men I meet there anymore...its the same as POF. Very few good quality people who wanted anything other than something casual. There are always exceptions but generally I find this to be true Or are you just not having success getting laid? If thats what you want, look at PUA techniques. I aint into that stuff but the men on this site think it works in terms of getting laid First off cheers for the reply. That advice featured some obvious facts about my POF profile which I'll be changing so a) thanks and b) I'm meant to be a student yet missed that! I didn't know POF had that reputation so I'll definitely be looking into that Okcupid. And no I'll pass on the PUA techniques thanks That's not the problem, it's finding someone I actually like to have a laugh with. Again cheers, sound advice.
clia Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Your profile could use some work. Show, don't tell. Use examples. Your punctuation and grammar also need work. I'm motivated, fun and love a girl with humour. What does "I'm motivated" mean? "Motivated" for what? How are you fun? I look after myself but love a massive pig out on takeaway watching a film. Me and the lads often go hiking up Eston hills for a barbecue and beers... Nothing better! You sound like a guy's guy. What kind of film? What kind of takeaway? You indicate that you look after yourself, but how? What do you like to do that might attract a girl? Fill in some specifics to make it more interesting. Here you admit that there is nothing better than barbecue and beer with your friends. How is that going to attract a girl? You might want to reword that. I'm into Indie music but used to be a big rock nut, got the tattoo to prove it so if you don't like tats bad luck! The latter part of this ("if you don't like tats bad luck!") makes you sound like a douche. Also, this is a massive run-on sentence. I always think if a girl's keen she'll let you know, I'm not pushy in the slightest but it does get annoying when you get led on. Blah, blah, blah. Don't bring your past issues into a dating profile. It makes it sound like you have a ton of baggage. If you've got a sense of humour, are not stuck up and like the look of me then I'd love to hear from you. Ditch the "are not stuck up" section here. If you want a girl who is more laid back, etc., maybe specify that more. All I get from this profile is that you want a girl with a sense of humor. What kind of humor? Also, you haven't shown me anything about your own sense of humor. Do you have one?
Author Uniguy20 Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 Your profile could use some work. Show, don't tell. Use examples. Your punctuation and grammar also need work. What does "I'm motivated" mean? "Motivated" for what? How are you fun? You sound like a guy's guy. What kind of film? What kind of takeaway? You indicate that you look after yourself, but how? What do you like to do that might attract a girl? Fill in some specifics to make it more interesting. Here you admit that there is nothing better than barbecue and beer with your friends. How is that going to attract a girl? You might want to reword that. The latter part of this ("if you don't like tats bad luck!") makes you sound like a douche. Also, this is a massive run-on sentence. Blah, blah, blah. Don't bring your past issues into a dating profile. It makes it sound like you have a ton of baggage. Ditch the "are not stuck up" section here. If you want a girl who is more laid back, etc., maybe specify that more. All I get from this profile is that you want a girl with a sense of humor. What kind of humor? Also, you haven't shown me anything about your own sense of humor. Do you have one? Brilliant advice thanks, I need to be told bluntly believe me!
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