cursed paramour Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Hi, This would be my first post and i am really hoping you can shed some light on me. Well this all started last Christmas. Me and my supposed to be fiancé were about to have a son (due next month). We're not living together and only see each other before going to work, at first, i noticed that he is keeping distance, he doesn't wait for me anymore and making excuses when we have plans. Then, he started to ask for space. This caught my attention! January 3rd, i went to his house to talk. He admitted everything, that he met this girl before Chrstmas and he went to her house on new yrs eve and he felt different about this girl. He said he just want to test his feelings and ask me to wait for him! I was so heartbroken, i begged for days, cried a river in frony of her mom to help me but he still pursued her and left me. I was hospitalized and almost delivered our son prematurely bec of too much stress. I txted him but he dint visit me the first day. On the second day he came and asked me how much do i need for the hospital bill and left me again. I decide to go NC and planned to never contact him again. NEVER! after a week he texted me to ask how im doing. I dint reply. Few days, he called and said it's important, about our son. So i answered and he said that he's still thinking of me. I dint answer. Then he said how excited her new girlfriend is to see my son, i went mad and ended the call. Now after a week of NC again, he said he wanted to come back and he will before i give birth to our child and he will marry me. The problem is he's still with his gf and i can't put words to his mouth or ask him to leave her. Another issue, he's afraid that my family hates him and won't approve. He wanted me to talk to them first "to test the waters" I wanted this to work but i am scared, confused and too emotional. Any advice??? TIY!!!
Author cursed paramour Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 And he said he only left me because, he wants to find himself and explore because these are the thins that he cannot do anymore once we have our son and get married. I asked him if he was sure of getting back together and he just replied "yes" nothing more. I wanted this to work for our son. I am not giving all my hopes because i want to build a family. And im thinking maybe he's just scared, confused or experiencing G.I.G.S. I really do hope you can give me some advice.
TaserTag Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 He upset you so badly that you almost had your son prematurely and then, when you got out of the hospital for that, he called you up to tell you that his new girlfriend is excited about the baby? That is disgusting, ignorant and abusive. If he can't step up while you're pregnant and sick and needing him, when is he going to step up? And he's not even man enough to talk to your family, because he knows that they'll know what a worthless piece of crap he is. If he's having a hard time being faithful and serious now, when the baby isn't even born, then I would seriously question whether or not he's going to be there for you after you have the baby. Things are harder when the baby is actually there and needs constant love & care. When you're exhausted and need help with the baby, is he going to suddenly need a break to 'find himself' and wind up sleeping around and partying again while you're left with all of the responsibility of raising his child? He's not "finding himself and exploring"... he's cheating on you and abandoning you and your child while you're pregnant. That is awful. I would tell him to just be on his way and let him know that I'll be filing for child support and he can get back to me when he's ready to be an adult, if ever, and maybe then I'll take him seriously.
darkmoon Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 i hope you choose to ask him for money, he made the baby too, sex is a fifty-fifty split
Author cursed paramour Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 Thank you for the response. It is really difficult for me because all of this happened within amonth. Baby's coming next month and his father abandoned him before he even sees him. There's just a part of me hoping that maybe he's just confused at this moment. He told me that even if he has this girl its different with me. And he sees his future with me and it will be alright, he just needs time. I want to scream at him "what the f*** do u want me to do or what kind of milk did your mom fed you?!!!!" is it really that easy to forget that he loves me and what we had was real. And the fact that he's now becoming a father??!
Author cursed paramour Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 Darkmoon: i never wanted his money, even when i got hospitalized i payed for my own bill and never accepted a single penny and if he won't man up still, i will not ask anything from him.
darkmoon Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 (edited) Thank you for the response. It is really difficult for me because all of this happened within amonth. Baby's coming next month and his father abandoned him before he even sees him. There's just a part of me hoping that maybe he's just confused at this moment. He told me that even if he has this girl its different with me. And he sees his future with me and it will be alright, he just needs time. I want to scream at him "what the f*** do u want me to do or what kind of milk did your mom fed you?!!!!" is it really that easy to forget that he loves me and what we had was real. And the fact that he's now becoming a father??! what are your plans for living expenses as a single mother? i think he's getting used to the idea of being a dad - don't shout at him or tell him off, even if the baby was planned, just keep yourself nice endlessly, cuz families with kids who have been together for ever get divorced...is this a fate you are drawn to? i know some posters get to target a culprit and hate them on-line (the dad-to-be in this case) but either you are trying for a happy family or a hatefuelled family (even if you both just stay friendly for the baby's sake) Edited January 30, 2013 by darkmoon
Author cursed paramour Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 Of course i never said anything harsh even if i really want to because crying is always my first reaction to everything he says or do. I don't want to tell this to my son either even when he's old enough. I just want to know if there are other people here who have experienced the same (with or without kids) and if it's worth the wait. 1
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