crashvector Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Alright...I'm getting sick and tired of thinking about my ex fiance. I know we were together for 5 years, so I picked up some of her habits and such, and she had a distinct influence on me. However, I'm sick of "seeing her" in a lot of the things that I do. I put "bloody" in quotes because she would say that all the time even though she wasn't British. I wanna go to the same places to eat that we ate, I went on a few dates and found myself unconsciously doing the same things that she and I would do together, etc. Its SO strange how another person can become SO imprinted upon me that they "infiltrate" me in subtle ways. I still find myself carrying on small little "habits" that i had adapted to in the course of my interactions with her.... The point of all this is that every time I "catch" myself doing that, it's starting to frustrate me because it feels like I'm screwing myself over by constantly reminding myself of her without even intending to.
Sari Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Same here. My ex and I had so many little sayings and catchphrases and in-jokes. Sometimes I feel like I have lost a whole other person as well as him, that person being Mr Relationship. I'm mourning both my ex and also our special language/ways. So many times I've found myself going to say something that only he would understand or find funny, and I've had to catch myself. Then I get upset all over again. And we were only together for 6 months! The same thing happened after my 6.5 year relationship too. This recent one seems to hurt all the more though as we shared such a similar sense of humour/outlook on life. Also I went on a date and found myself acting just like I would with my ex, and it really freaked me out. Add to that the myriad things I can't watch/listen to/eat/wear/visit because they remind me so much of him and the lovely times we shared. I'm trying to 'claim' some of them back because I hate living this way (watching only stuff we never shared, not wearing my favourite dress), but it's hard. So f*cking hard... Big hugs x 1
Author crashvector Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 That's my situation exactly. In order to avoid all of that, I have to do practically NOTHING that I've done for the last 5 years of my life. One point of pride, I have been REALLY practicing my guitar playing (i rarely spent time doing that when I was with her because I spent pretty much ALL of my free time with her) and have actually discovered that I can sing really well (according to my fb friends anyhow lol). other than that though, I got nothing. Even my f-ing SHOWER gel....I had to throw it ALL out and get new stuff because she would use it when she came over to my place...and the smell of it tears me up. Yes...im pathetic...but at least I know it.
Sari Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I'm trying to laugh at myself more to ease the drama of the situation. I also did the shower gel thing and realised how pathetic I was being, snivelling away over half a bottle of 'coconut delight' or whatever the hell it was called because it reminded me of him. Ha! Sometimes the only thing you can do is step out of the situation and chuckle at your own melodrama, otherwise you'll go insane with grief eh.
Author crashvector Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 I'm trying to laugh at myself more to ease the drama of the situation. I also did the shower gel thing and realised how pathetic I was being, snivelling away over half a bottle of 'coconut delight' or whatever the hell it was called because it reminded me of him. Ha! Sometimes the only thing you can do is step out of the situation and chuckle at your own melodrama, otherwise you'll go insane with grief eh. I end up rolling my eyes going "DAMN..this is SOOO annoying." I wanna move on with my life and not have to drag this anchor around with me anymore. I feel like I'm carrying this awful burden and I dont want it anymore.
Yamcha Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Nah, it happens, crashvector. You can get really into your girlfriend. Me and my ex had some great times together. You're gonna be reminded of her from seemingly benign things over and over again. And you're gonna have to catch yourself doing this crap countless times. But that's okay. You can't rush the grieving process. No Contact is the way to go, for sure. By the way, I have ya beat Sari, me and my ex together less than 4 months. And I STILL took the breakup very hard. But it has definitely gotten better. Once again, No Contact is the way to go. I cannot stress that enough. It includes not checking her Facebook, etc.
OJ loved Nicole Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I put "bloody" in quotes because she would say that all the time even though she wasn't British. This would've annoyed the piss out of me, and I honestly would've broken up with her over it. You would've seen my "She's not British but keeps saying "bloody", soooo annoying" thread in the dating section.
Recommended Posts