nes9 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 My girl of 5 months left me for her ex bf who lives across the country. We're both in the same pharmacy program with 2.5 years left. Things were going great and she just ran into her ex bf over christmas break and dumped me to get back with him. Well school has started back up after christmas break and it is getting more intense than ever. I literally have no idea how one could ever juggle an LDR, hence why every person in my class that came to school in a LDR is now either single or dating someone locally. I was so baffled as to how she could ditch a good relationship that her and I had going. We had the same day to day schedule and could see each other any day/night we pleased, which would be really hard to do with someone outside of pharmacy school with how busy we are. She genuinely appeared as into the relationship as I was, and my friends thought so too. But I guess all of that is irrelevant because she was clearly never over her ex and I was the rebound. All that being said, I wouldn't even want her back right now if her relationship failed, but a big part of me hopes to see her LDR fail again miserably. I feel like she cheated the coping/grieving process of her breakup by using me. I mean who knows, maybe she'll end up marrying this dude but I so badly want her to have to go through the breakup that she skipped by dating me. I just feel like you can't cheat the breakup process without it coming back to bite you in the ass. Maybe I'm wrong, but I hope I'm not. I know this is a real bitter post but it's just the type of mood I am in right now and needed to vent.
denxnis Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I too hope my ex's new relationship fails even though I would never take her back. The fact that she "cheated" the coping/grieving process by getting with someone else literally a couple days after we broke-up is frustrating... Why do I have to get depressed and feel lonely while she gets to live in lala land where nobody ever gets sad.
Author nes9 Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 I like to think that everything "comes full circle" so to speak. I don't necessarily believe in karma entirely in the sense that you do one bad thing something bad happens to you and vice-versa. I think she made a horrible decision, and not just because she chose to not be with me. With 2.5 years of school left in your young twenties, why go BACK into an LDR that didn't work? Why not try to date locally where you can have physical contact with your partner and get to spend time with them? For whatever reasons her LDR had failed in the first place.... how the hell does she expect to patch those reasons up when the guy lives a plane flight away? It just all seems so forced. The best thing for her to do would have been to have dated neither of us and just gotten over her ex and become happy with herself. But then again, what do I know what is best for someone else. Regardless, I'm the one stuck going through the grieving process while she is happy (at least for now). Oh well, the past is the past and the future is gonna come, so I might as well just enjoy the present and try to not worry about her relationship.
sharsh Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I totally know how you feel. My ex ran off with the next girl days after breaking up with me. He's done this before too. I just keep hoping it fails for him, miserably. I'm just bitter. I don't care though. I want their relationship to die a quick, fiery death. Then when he shows up at my door after (like he usually does), I just want to slam the door in his face.
melenkurion Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I can definitely related to this, I was utterly obsessed with my ex's relationship failing with my "friend" that he cheated with and left me for. The thing is, you have no control over it. In the end, it doesn't make you happy. As far as I know, they are still together, two years later - we are currently getting "divorced", and I did notice that his address is indeed that of my former friend. Two years is a long time. They could easily be together for many years. I was convinced it would only last six months. I was very wrong about that! I couldn't waste my life wanting something that may never happen, and that I doubt I'll ever hear about even it does. And if I did somehow hear the news? Sure, I am human, I imagine I'd get a brief flicker of "Aha! I was right after all, they weren't compatible, they only lasted 47 years :rolleyes:". But even then it's not going to increase my happiness in any way whatsoever.
mike588 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 My girl of 5 months left me for her ex bf who lives across the country. We're both in the same pharmacy program with 2.5 years left. Things were going great and she just ran into her ex bf over christmas break and dumped me to get back with him. Well school has started back up after christmas break and it is getting more intense than ever. I literally have no idea how one could ever juggle an LDR, hence why every person in my class that came to school in a LDR is now either single or dating someone locally. I was so baffled as to how she could ditch a good relationship that her and I had going. We had the same day to day schedule and could see each other any day/night we pleased, which would be really hard to do with someone outside of pharmacy school with how busy we are. She genuinely appeared as into the relationship as I was, and my friends thought so too. But I guess all of that is irrelevant because she was clearly never over her ex and I was the rebound. All that being said, I wouldn't even want her back right now if her relationship failed, but a big part of me hopes to see her LDR fail again miserably. I feel like she cheated the coping/grieving process of her breakup by using me. I mean who knows, maybe she'll end up marrying this dude but I so badly want her to have to go through the breakup that she skipped by dating me. I just feel like you can't cheat the breakup process without it coming back to bite you in the ass. Maybe I'm wrong, but I hope I'm not. I know this is a real bitter post but it's just the type of mood I am in right now and needed to vent. My ex. dumped me for her ex. after we dated about a year. I too sooo wanted their relationship to fail because at the time I was hoping she would come running back to me. Well it's been 1 and 1/2 years now since the b/u and we are starting to talk like and become friends again.....friends only!! (We were friends many..many years ago before dating) I am so over the hurt and heartbreak over the b/u and I have forgiven her ...... I just don't want to carry animosity...hatred and harsh feelings towards her or anyone in my life. Carrying around that "baggage" I believe can affect any future relationship/s. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my soul...heart and are/am the "better person." I'm currently dating someone else now and would NOT go back to her if the ocassion arose...I'm happy now and look back at the relationship as a growing and learning experience.
Chi townD Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Hey nes9 good to see your doing okay. Let me guess, she acts as if nothing happened, like your relationship never existed? Tries to be your buddy?
Author nes9 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Posted January 31, 2013 Hey ChiTown. Ummm yah to an extent she is doing that. I mean, I say hi to her when I see her in the hallways and she does the same. As you know, her and I are in a small group together in a class. We only talk to each other when we need to during class and nothing more. But ya, overall she is trying to be "friends" with me it seems like. She knows I want to do this 5 day class in Utah this summer and she texted me the other day saying, "hey did you see the email that was sent out about that class?" I stupidly responded to her and had a little bit of a text convo, breaking NC. Her birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, and it just so happens its on the same day we have our "small group class." I cant wait to come in, sit at the table with her and NOT give her a happy birthday haha.
Allumere Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I know I posted to a similar thought process earlier this week. I think its a pretty normal pain response...why shouldnt the person who hurt you feel what you are feeling to some degree. Well, although sometimes by all appearances, things come full circle, more times than not, those people just live their lives and are happy.....so don't waste your time worrying about or waiting for things to go wrong for her....focus the energy on things going right for you.
Recommended Posts