LoveThyself Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 (edited) Hey Been awhile since i have been on here. Last time i was on here i was asking how to stay no contact etc. Well, that failed - we got back together in november and broke up on january 8th. Our story is long, although it is only 1.5 years. We met at a concert, the second time i saw her we hung out and got high and had sex. For awhile we were just FB's , but 2 months later we were together ( august 2011). Things were great until april 2012 when i told her i loved her, things started going downhill - although she said she was waiting so long for me to say it. I made her promise to quit MDMA in june 2011 otherwise i wouldnt date her. On newyears 2012 she did MDMA behind my back at her friends party and told me later. This was the beginning of the red flags, but ofcourse i was wearing my rose colored glasses. She began doing things a respectable girlfriend wouldnt do, going out way too much and getting way too drunk - telling me that im crazy for thinking its weird she flirts for free drinks. Most of you would say ohhhh your just not confident enough...ya ya, but i have intuition - i saw that there was something happening. Fast forward to the summer of 2012, july to be exact. As usual she is out with her friends and barely messaging me, she calls me when i am asleep so i check it in the morning. This was a pocket dial, and on the pocket dial i heard her friends talking, but there was one thing that turned my stomach. I hear her say " i really want to F*** alex". alex was a guy who was a notorious player and general *******, she was always talking **** about this guy. Stupidly i accepted her excuse that she was mocking someone...yea... right. A month later she dumped me out of nowhere (august 2012). Then started my trying to get her back and eventually no contact. November 2012 we saw each other at a bar and agreed to try it again, things went well we had a nice first date. But when she left my house the next day her email was still on when i went to check mine and i found her sending pictures, nudes you name it, to 3 different guys. And i noticed she had been sending them from her phone to her email and the emails were still taking place when we were talking again in november. One of the guys had a girlfriend and my ex didnt see anything wrong with helping this guy cheat. this should have been it right? no it wasnt. i stay because i loved this girl and thought she could change. She told me she stopped seeing this guy , but i know she didnt. She would try to prove it to me and thats how i know she didnt, because i never said anything , just believed her like always. So we were together for awhile but i started to notice everytime i was partying with her alex wasnt there, and everytime i wasnt there he was. I started seeing pictures of her and her bff with this guy named adam (bffs FB) and notorious alex. Again she insisted it was nothing. one of the final straws was when she got too drunk and started grinding with other guys, and then blamed it on me... this girl had no heart, it was all a game to her, i lived in a chess game. When my friend died in december she didnt even pick up the phone to see if i was okay, no effort to comfort me. She gave me the we need to talk and told me we are bad for each other. this time i was ready and said "i agree" and went NC completely. Going NC helped me realized how manipulitive and dishonest this girl was, and how everything was always my fault some how. I went and did my research and figured out she is has boarderline personality disorder. I was constantly abused and made to feel like sh*t, my limits were always pushed. The good news is i met the most amazing girl when i left my ex go, and she has been through a relationship like mine before. I know now what it should feel like, i feel at peace. I lost myself for those 1.5 years, always anxious and on a roller coaster, i started thinking it was me and lost my confidence. The new girl inspires me, she has a disease that she is managing and works with disabled children in her spare time. her life expectancy is 46 and she is currently 20yo , this inspires me that someone who has so little time, wants to spend some of it helping people. My advice is dont ignore a single red flag, if you ignore them all you will be empty and miserable. If the one you love cant respect you and is just draining you of life, GET OUT. These people will take everything and leave you with nothing. Edited January 30, 2013 by LoveThyself 2
Author LoveThyself Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 BTW - i went through the checklist on shrink4men and she was 12/13 signs
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