The best way to escape from the past is to accept and forgive it.

[h3braica]

in order to get rid of the pain we're feeling right now I think we only need two things. ACCEPTANCE & FORGIVENESS.

 

crying all the time isn't going to solve anything or change anything we need to focus on the future and finally move on. they will never come back.

 

we need to start to feel better. we dont all deserve this pain. we need ourselves back.

 

cheer up guys!

[stevie_23]

THIS is what I feel too - ACCEPTANCE and FORGIVENESS. And thus, a peaceful understanding.

 

I find some people try to move forward by retaining anger towards their ex and this helps them. And while anything that helps is good to an extent and for a certain length of time, eventually anger will only hold you back from healing and truly moving on.

[Samilia]

Well you guys are the better men/women. I can accept what happened to me throughout life, but in a few specific situations, I will be damned if I can forgive. I just live and try to learn from my mistakes. Thinking about it, I do forgive myself overtime. It's just harder to forgive somebody else.

[h3braica]

THIS is what I feel too - ACCEPTANCE and FORGIVENESS. And thus, a peaceful understanding.

 

I find some people try to move forward by retaining anger towards their ex and this helps them. And while anything that helps is good to an extent and for a certain length of time, eventually anger will only hold you back from healing and truly moving on.

 

that's right stevie. it's hard to accept it but we need to.

[stevie_23]

I find I don't need to forgive myself. I didn't do anything wrong in terms of my own personal situation with this breakup with my ex. I have NO regrets within that relationship except I do wish I had treated him better at times. This is in no way meant to come across as any sort of martyr thing. I was a bitch to my ex sometimes and I would change that if I could go back. But obviously I can't, so what's done is done and 95% of the time I was wonderful to him, so I have peace with my part in this situation.

 

In terms of forgiving HIM? Yes. I have. Or at least mostly. I have nothing to forgive in terms of the overall relationship as he treated me wonderfully and tried hard to make me a priority even when it was so difficult for him, being married.

 

The way he ended things was hideous, and I don't excuse or justify that. I don't need to. But at the same time, the ending does not sour or taint the whole relationship. It doesn't change what we had and how good he was to me. I feel lucky to at least be able to say that.

 

I forgive him for how he ended things with me. And not because I feel the reasons he left are "wrong" or not understandable or that he was at "fault" for leaving me and I forgive him despite this. And not because I feel like a victim who has been so wronged that she has no option other than to forgive in order to be able to move on. I forgive him because I love him, I loved him then, and I understand. And because we are all human and make mistakes in terms of hurting people we love.

 

So there you go. I forgive him. And it makes me feel really GOOD to say that.

Edited January 30, 2013 by stevie_23

[h3braica]

today, i break NC forgive him and move on. thank you stevie you're an inspiration!

[stevie_23]

Wow, thank you! Lol

 

You broke NC though? In what way? To tell him you forgive him and are moving on?

[h3braica]

yup. it doesn't matter if he will answer me back. i'm moving on.