You've got to be kidding me??

[nofool4u]

Ah, I now understand this isn't a marriage. So my apologies there.

 

He does need to leave, and I would think that he would want to.

 

But my comments still stand on the despicable attitude of hurting someone, then throwing salt on the wound.

 

So she cheated on him, wants to throw him out. Fine. Doesn't make it any less despicable.

[Realist3]

They are not married.

[BetrayedH]

I love you for trying to bring the peace and if the OP hadn't been written in such a nasty manner and without using any information from the current thread I would agree. I think the thing that ticks me off is that the backstory doesn't really have any bearing on the OP in this thread. It's completely inaccurate even with only the information on the thread he's talking about.

 

There. I'll go back into my corner now. I'm going to have a seat on my couch ( ) and have a coffee.

 

Well, I think I've just taken note that nofool doesn't typically research backstories as much as some others. It's not meant as a slam. I'm just kinda anal-retentive about wanting to know the full context. I will many times read someone's prior threads before posting. Not everybody does that. I think nofool tends to shoot from the hip and in this case, got too many facts wrong. She isn't married, she doesn't want a divorce, she isn't in an affair, she has no reason to leave what is her house in every sense of the word, and she doesn't want to call the cops.

 

The fact that the OW also went to some lengths to send an apology to the BS of her MM also gets some points in my book (she paid heavily for that ethical choice, by the way) The fact that the BSO has been a bit of a deadbeat also doesn't help his case, especially considering he just gave up his kids once before and has threatened to just split altogether once again. Has it been mentioned that WM tried to do counseling with him to deal with coparenting? He quit going. I also recall how much he reveled in getting chummy with the other BS and threatening a RA. And now he's squatting. No, he's no saint. Her affair muddied the water and I think she would freely admit it was wrong. But it doesn't mean she has to stay with this guy for life and so she's trying to figure out what to do now.

[nofool4u]

They are not married though ? He has no rights, yes its sh*tty what has been done to him and she is putting her hands up to that, but he has to move on for his own sanity, hers and most importantly for the kids.

 

I get that now.

 

At least you admit she is being sh*tty.

 

Having said that, perhaps she can help him get back on his feet? Maybe help him out with the first/last months rent somewhere?

 

Granted even though she was crappy to him and screwed him over, its not her responsibility, but it would be a decent gesture no? And would also help to do the right thing by him, no?

[nofool4u]

I don't understand the logic:

1. You have a house and pay all the bills for it
   
2. You meet someone and eventually they move in with you
   
3. You keep paying all the bills for the house
   
4. Things are not working out and you want to end the relationship
   
5. They get your house??
   

 

Even though I misunderstood that they are not married, no, they don't get the house.

 

What I'm saying is its despicable what she has done and wants to add insult to injury. Maybe she can try to do right by him somehow in moving out?

[nofool4u]

I suspect that nofool simply got the facts wrong as WM's backstory is not within that thread. I also suspect he's rectifying that problem as we speak.

 

Yes, I did. And for that I apologize. But the basic premise that she wants to royally screw him over twofold stands.

 

And it also brings me to another point. They don't like people coming into their threads with their opinions, yet won't extend the same courtesy.

 

I refrained from posting in OW/OM, and will continue to do so. But the hypocrisy is all too obvious.

[wanting more]

Yes, I did. And for that I apologize. But the basic premise that she wants to royally screw him over twofold stands.

 

And it also brings me to another point. They don't like people coming into their threads with their opinions, yet won't extend the same courtesy.

 

I refrained from posting in OW/OM, and will continue to do so. But the hypocrisy is all too obvious.

 

I never commented about not coming into my threads I've welcomed, asked for and listened to all opinions on my threads. From BSs, OW/OM and WS.

 

you saying you refrain from posting on the OW/OM board, but then posting specifically about me, my thread on the infedelity board makes to sense.

[nofool4u]

I never commented about not coming into my threads

 

I'm not talking about you.

 

 

you saying you refrain from posting on the OW/OM board, but then posting specifically about me, my thread on the infedelity board makes to sense.

 

I posted the story without mentioning who. See, there is a little idea over at OM/OW that it is "their" part of this site. However there is no BS forum. We generally think of Infidelity that way, but have been told, in the double standard way, that it is not.

 

So it makes complete sense. I am not going to graffiti your part of the site. But I reserve the right to bring up an issue in this part of it.

[anne1707]

I'm not talking about you.

 

Seeing as it was her thread that you are posting about, I think that does mean you are talking about her.

 

 

So it makes complete sense. I am not going to graffiti your part of the site. But I reserve the right to bring up an issue in this part of it.

 

And this is not strictly true either. You have not posted about an issue, i.e. a general topic of discussion related to infidelity. You have started a thread about one particular poster, criticising them unfairly and not quoting all the facts.

[nofool4u]

Seeing as it was her thread that you are posting about, I think that does mean you are talking about her.

 

No, look again. It was a response to her thinking I was talking about her as one of the people that expect certain people to stay out of the OM/OW forum.

 

 

 

And this is not strictly true either. You have not posted about an issue, i.e. a general topic of discussion related to infidelity. You have started a thread about one particular poster, criticising them unfairly and not quoting all the facts.

 

I mentioned no names and it is a situation that is pretty crappy. And with the exception of not realizing they weren't married, the idea that it is unfair criticism is an opinion, nothing more.

 

So the facts now are. She cheated on a boyfriend who doesn't own that house and wants him out. Ok, but have the decency to do it without throwing salt on an already open wound.

 

There, clear enough for you?

[KraftDinner]

I said this in the original thread as well: it is utterly ridiculous to expect her to give her house to the BS.

 

There are some here who think cheaters deserve to be publicly chained and flogged.

[nofool4u]

I said this in the original thread as well: it is utterly ridiculous to expect her to give her house to the BS.

 

Yes, that is utterly ridiculous. Nobody is suggesting that. I did originally, but that was because I assumed they were married, they are not. I also was not aware she owned the house outright.

Even if they were married, she will ultimately get to keep the house and all the equity. But my guess is until a married couple are divorced, he can't be kicked out.

 

But now that I understand the story, he will need to leave, but wouldn't it be nice of the cheater to give him the time he needs, or help him in some way to move out to try to make it at least somewhat right, rather than thinking calling the cops is probably the solution?

 

And calling the cops would be her right. But just because its right, it doesn't make it reprehensible in the light of the pain she already caused.

 

There are some here who think cheaters deserve to be publicly chained and flogged.

 

Hmmm, now that you mention it..

Edited January 30, 2013 by nofool4u

[wanting more]

Yes, that is utterly ridiculous. Nobody is suggesting that. I did originally, but that was because I assumed they were married, they are not. I also was not aware she owned the house outright.

Even if they were married, she will ultimately get to keep the house and all the equity. But my guess is until a married couple are divorced, he can't be kicked out.

 

But now that I understand the story, he will need to leave, but wouldn't it be nice of the cheater to give him the time he needs, or help him in some way to move out to try to make it at least somewhat right, rather than thinking calling the cops is probably the solution?

 

And calling the cops would be her right. But just because its right, it doesn't make it reprehensible in the light of the pain she already caused.

 

 

 

Hmmm, now that you mention it..

 

 

 

I'm trying to give him the time he needs. And it's a little more complicated now they he's lost his job. (calling the cops comes from a past where there was violence).

 

I know I've hurt him. I'm not looking to hurt him further but it's not a good environment for OUR kids anymore.

[nofool4u]

I'm trying to give him the time he needs. And it's a little more complicated now they he's lost his job. (calling the cops comes from a past where there was violence).

 

I know I've hurt him. I'm not looking to hurt him further but it's not a good environment for OUR kids anymore.

 

Well that sounds a little better. Your post didn't come off like this at all.

 

So if that wasn't your intention, then we can consider this thread a hypothetical situation of someone who does want to just put someone out on the street after betraying them, and not your situation.

[William]

Since this thread is about another thread and not about the thread starter's personal issues and apparently included some marked misunderstandings, I'm going to close this without prejudice. Please keep discussions about specific topics confined to the thread about that topic and adhere to community guidelines regarding civility and respect. Thanks.