You've got to be kidding me??

[nofool4u]

I have made a vow to not post in the OW/OM section, but still lurk occasionally.

 

So rather than post there I want to post here about a disgusting situation I read.

 

Apparently a MW having an affair with a MM is wanting to divorce. But the kicker is, she wants the BH to be the one to leave the house and thinks that possibly calling the cops, with no proof of wrongdoing on the H's part, is the way to get him out.

 

Really?? She cheats on him, he is devastated, and to add insult to injury she expects HIM to leave the house? And thinks calling the cops because he simply won't leave is a way to accomplish this?

 

How utterly despicable.

 

Here is just a thought to the cheaters. If you have an affair, don't expect your betrayed spouse to be the one to leave. YOU leave. You wanted to cheat, you did, so you leave the house.

 

In what right mind does anybody expect the person they royally f****d over to be the one to have to move out??

[lukas]

In what right mind does anybody expect the person they royally f****d over to be the one to have to move out??

 

This is an utterly disgusting situation, I will admit that. Really shows a real lack of compassion for someone they claimed to have once loved. Just wow.

 

That said, every situation is unique. Though I suspect the victim in this situation should he up and leave his wife of his own accord would have a much easier road to recovery. His wife, however, is a vile creature who has gone out of her way to cause him more misery.

 

Shame on her!

[wanting more]

Wow!!!!

 

Yoh should maybe read the whole story before you judge that harshly.

[wanting more]

And I'll stay off your thread now

[Summer Breeze]

I won't stay off the thread.

 

You've failed to mention that the MW legally owns the house and has NOT said she'd call the cops. You've also failed to mention that the BH has been living in the house even though they're basically 'separated' til he can get on his feet again. There's also the matter that the BH has threatened that if he's made to leave he won't have any contact with their kids again.

 

And where did she say she was going to call the cops?

 

Before anyone takes the OPs words as gospel I suggest you go over and read the whole thread. The OP appears to have put this thread together with either limited intelligence or information. Maybe both.

[TheOW]

My H legally owns our house. He inherited it before we even met. Does tat make me a houseguest? I think not. And I don't think the fact we are legally married should make the difference either.

 

NF4U I couldn't agree more.

 

Even without the cheating I think if you're the one who wants out of a marriage or relationship you should be the one to leave. But with the cheating makes it inhuman IMO.

 

 

So she should leave her own property with the kids ?? Remember she owns the house! whatever the situation cheating or not you cannot expect her to do that.

[underwater2010]

I am a BS and if my husband would have chose to stay his course and ask for a divorce/split, I would have left with the kids. There is no point in fighting for a place that once represented your safe haven, where your spouse and/or kids awaited you and loved you. It would just be a pile of bricks to me now.

 

As far as calling the cops to remove someone....if there is a reason for the call I see no problem ie violence. To me it is better one or both be gone than the kids see the insanity the argueing brings to their lives.

[BetrayedH]

The affair has been long over. The OW disclosed to the other BS in as kind of a way as possible with NO intent to further pursue the MM. But within her own household, there has been no discussion of reconciliation; both parties understand and agree that they are done and have been that way for many months. They are not married. The BSO has agreed to leave the house, acknowledges that it is hers (she bought it and set it up for her and the the kids when they previously separated as I recall), she has made all the payments, he says he will leave soon, and yet he doesn't leave. Who squats at their ex's house for months after a breakup? She is trying to determine some way to get him to actually move out so everyone can move on with their lives and she doesn't want to evict him; she wants to talk to him.

[Turtles]

I don't understand the logic:

1. You have a house and pay all the bills for it
   
2. You meet someone and eventually they move in with you
   
3. You keep paying all the bills for the house
   
4. Things are not working out and you want to end the relationship
   
5. They get your house??
   

 

Cheating is bad, we get it, but it doesn't give the other one a free pass to the cheater's property. There are a million ways spouses can harm one another and cheating is just one of them, and that's probably why legally adultery has little to no effect on the division of property because a judge doesn't want to get in the middle of a turd-slinging fight.

[Realist3]

I don't understand the logic:

1. You have a house and pay all the bills for it
   
2. You meet someone and eventually they move in with you
   
3. You keep paying all the bills for the house
   
4. Things are not working out and you want to end the relationship
   
5. They get your house??
   

Cheating is bad, we get it, but it doesn't give the other one a free pass to the cheater's property. There are a million ways spouses can harm one another and cheating is just one of them, and that's probably why legally adultery has little to no effect on the division of property because a judge doesn't want to get in the middle of a turd-slinging fight.

 

This is basically the outline of the situation. They are not married!!!! The guy is a moocher. he has no right to anything in this situation. She and her kids want him out and he needs to go.

[TheOW]

This is basically the outline of the situation. They are not married!!!! The guy is a moocher. he has no right to anything in this situation. She and her kids want him out and he needs to go.

 

I think certain members on these forums write these posts just to get as much reaction as possible. They are trying to stir things between BS vs OW its becoming pathetic.

[Realist3]

I think certain members on these forums write these posts just to get as much reaction as possible. They are trying to stir things between BS vs OW its becoming pathetic.

 

 

That very well could be. They see what they want to see, and in their skewed view of reality, cheating trumps everything. Where I think this particular situation may hit some hard is that the betrayed partner was not the saint many betrayed like to believe they are. But just by the fact they were cheated on, gives them carte blanche. One poster who has responded on both of these threads said as much.

[BetrayedH]

I suspect that nofool simply got the facts wrong as WM's backstory is not within that thread. I also suspect he's rectifying that problem as we speak.

[TheOW]

That very well could be. They see what they want to see, and in their skewed view of reality, cheating trumps everything. Where I think this particular situation may hit some hard is that the betrayed partner was not the saint many betrayed like to believe they are. But just by the fact they were cheated on, gives them carte blanche. One poster who has responded on both of these threads said as much.

 

On my first ever thread to LS i was being labeled the same as a child molester, rapist and murderer, to some I was worse than them.

[BetrayedH]

That very well could be. They see what they want to see, and in their skewed view of reality, cheating trumps everything. Where I think this particular situation may hit some hard is that the betrayed partner was not the saint many betrayed like to believe they are. But just by the fact they were cheated on, gives them carte blanche. One poster who has responded on both of these threads said as much.

 

I don't see a lot of BSs jumping on the outrage bandwagon on this thread. In fact, I see considerable defense of an OW on the Infidelity board. There are always exceptions.

[beenburned]

Turtles,

 

I disagree, there are 13 states here in the US that are both fault and no-fault states! If you prove adultery and/or fraud, the assets, money,alimony, and property are definiately divided in the favor of the BS! My D just got a divorce for both of the above reasons.

 

BetrayedH,

 

I agree with your view of XOW's situation! It is really a legal matter concerning seperate property, that was obtained when not married. It would also apply if the home was inherited before marriage.

 

If I personally, had a home that I had bought before I married, or inherited before marriage, I would not leave my property for anybody! And it doesn't have a thing to do with cheating at all, it is MY personal property.

[Summer Breeze]

I suspect that nofool simply got the facts wrong as WM's backstory is not within that thread. I also suspect he's rectifying that problem as we speak.

 

I love you for trying to bring the peace and if the OP hadn't been written in such a nasty manner and without using any information from the current thread I would agree. I think the thing that ticks me off is that the backstory doesn't really have any bearing on the OP in this thread. It's completely inaccurate even with only the information on the thread he's talking about.

 

There. I'll go back into my corner now. I'm going to have a seat on my couch ( ) and have a coffee.

[beenburned]

SB,

 

I agree! Please pass the coffee, 1 sugar, 1 cream!

Read my post above.

[TheOW]

I suspect that nofool simply got the facts wrong as WM's backstory is not within that thread. I also suspect he's rectifying that problem as we speak.

 

If this is true, then i sincerely apologise to nofool, I certainly wasnt looking for an argument either.

[nofool4u]

I won't stay off the thread.

 

You've failed to mention that the MW legally owns the house

 

So it was paid in full before they got married? Even if that were true, he has a right to live there until they are divorced. And to expect him to leave because she wanted another man is despicable.

 

She should work it out with him until they are divorced.

 

 

and has NOT said she'd call the cops.

 

I didn't say she was GOING to call the cops. I said she think that calling them might be the only way to get him out, and she DID say just that.

 

 

You've also failed to mention that the BH has been living in the house even though they're basically 'separated' til he can get on his feet again.

 

Separated is not divorced. And if the argument is until he gets on his feet again, then whats her hurry? She devastates him and wants him to get the F out after what SHE did to him? Let me ask you, what decent person thinks like that?

 

 

There's also the matter that the BH has threatened that if he's made to leave he won't have any contact with their kids again.

 

With her kids, or THEIR kids? If its kids of hers from a previous relationship, so what?

 

If its his kids, then that would be crappy.

 

 

And where did she say she was going to call the cops?

 

Again, she is thinking that the only way to get him out is to call the cops. Its in the very first post from here.

"I don't know what to do except one day call the cops."

 

 

Before anyone takes the OPs words as gospel I suggest you go over and read the whole thread.

 

They'll find the same thing I did.

 

 

The OP appears to have put this thread together with either limited intelligence or information. Maybe both.

 

Looks like the lack of intelligence is on the side of someone asking where a comment from her about calling the cops came from, when its right there in the first post.

 

So do be careful when trying to insult someone's intelligence when you didn't even read it yourself.

[nofool4u]

My H legally owns our house. He inherited it before we even met. Does tat make me a houseguest? I think not. And I don't think the fact we are legally married should make the difference either.

 

NF4U I couldn't agree more.

 

Even without the cheating I think if you're the one who wants out of a marriage or relationship you should be the one to leave. But with the cheating makes it inhuman IMO.

 

Exactly. Your H would get to keep the house and all the equity in it. But as long as you are married he cannot kick you out of it.

 

And yes, the whole point is, if you cheated, don't expect the betrayed to move out.

 

And in the event the cheater owns the house outright, my comments still stand, its despicable to expect them to move out, or force them out until they are either ready, or divorced.

[nofool4u]

So she should leave her own property with the kids ?? Remember she owns the house! whatever the situation cheating or not you cannot expect her to do that.

 

No, she should give him the time he needs, or until the divorce is final, whichever comes first.

 

And for her to even think that calling the cops is a solution is cold, heartless(as if cheating on him wasn't bad enough), and despicable.

 

In the end, she'll get to keep her house and stay in it. Just give the guy the time he needs or get the divorce done. Geez. How much more insult to injury does the guy have to endure??

[beenburned]

NOfool4you,

 

They are NOT married!(they lived together in HER house that she bought before him) They do have children together, which she is concerned about, since he has a history of bad anger problems!

[nofool4u]

As far as calling the cops to remove someone....if there is a reason for the call I see no problem ie violence.

 

Of course, if there is violence. But her thinking that calling the cops is a solution to get him out because she simply doesn't want him there is completely different.

 

She married him, she broke the vows, she should ride it out until the divorce. Is a little decency after the devastation too much to ask?

[TheOW]

They are not married though ? He has no rights, yes its sh*tty what has been done to him and she is putting her hands up to that, but he has to move on for his own sanity, hers and most importantly for the kids.