tall_blonde Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Okay, when it comes to men, I am definitely on the short yellow bus so help me out here. I have been dating this guy for about 4 months and it has gone extremely well. He has always been the one who would do most of the "swooning" and say/do all the "mushy" stuff until recently. I started being really comfortable with him, in fact so comfortable that I am able to call him my best friend, that I started to reciprocate the "mushy" stuff (ie, complimenting him overtly, surprising him with a sweet phone call, buying him a shirt just because it matched his eyes, etc.) Anyway, this past weekend, he had to leave town for business. When he called me Monday night, I told him I was missing him and that it made me a little crazy that he was so far away. Now, bare in mind that he has been saying this sort of thing to me all along and I am suddenly feeling comfortable enough to say the same things. He said he missed me and that he didn't, however, understand why it made me any crazier that he was now 1200 miles away versus the 90 miles away that he currently lives. Okay, so question number one: How do guys typically feel about this kind of honest communication and the "mushy" stuff? (By the way, this guy is almost 40) And so the story goes on...he, at the end of our phone conversation, told me he would call the following night and he did not. Now, I am a fairly reasonable person and I realize that while he is out of town on business he would be pulling 12-14 hour days as well as catching up with many of his colleagues. So that part doesn't bother me too much, but the timeliness in conjunction with me dishing out the mushy stuff does. So... Question number two: The proverbial question, why do guys really not call when they say they will? Is this guy freaked out over what I said? Or does he possibly not want to talk to me as much as I do him? Or is he truly exhausted from the day's activities? Like I said dating isn't my strength in life. So any help and reassurance will be appreciated. That's probably why I'm single!
EIN Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 Ms.Bonde,you are not single. Currently you are seeing someone whether he is 1200 miles away. The fact you are considerate of him and his feelings means you are in some sort of relationship, not single. Answer to your first question is yes, we guys love when we can honestly and truly have an open communication. Isnt that a basic foundation to a successful relationship? To not hide anything from a significant other is something that is rare but endearing. Question two can apply to guys and girls, we just say it out of good etiquette in mind. Whether we follow thru on what we said is up to us (the other end might perceive it as bad etiquette). Mrs. Blond you shouldnt see this as a hindering situation in your relationship. You have been seeing this guy for 4 months so during that time you both should have develop some sort of trust and feelings toward each other. I can understand why he reacted that way because it kinda made you overbearing about his work. His work is just as it is, work. He wasn't leaving town on a vacation. Don't sweat this small stuff and enjoy the times with him when he gets back.
guest Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 I've experienced that too, tall_blonde, and it really irks me because it feels like the guy is just the conquering type. Don't know whether it's true but that's what it feels like. And when that happens, it makes me feel like I should pull away so maybe he'll start being affectionate. Furthermore, what your guy about 1200 vs 90 miles said is totally unromantic! Jees, someone needs to send guys to training to get them to avoid saying stupidly rational things. At least pretend to be a little romantic! I usually start pulling away if a guy turns coldish like that. So I'd also like to know -- do guys pull away for a power trip thing? Or is it that the conquest is over and they turn not mushy. I don't like it if a bf says he'll call and doesn't. I don't interpret that as a polite thing to say before hanging up, if they say they'll call I expect a call, unless unusual circumstances arise of course.
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