Another perspective on looks

[Disenchantedly Yours]

There's no secret that men like gorgeous women (just as the opposite of course) but "only women that matter to men" sorry no. There is a nerd thread where there were several pictures posted of ladies who weren't the classic gorgeous model type and lots of men found them attractive (myself included and I have very high standards)

 

I think you missed my point. A post started talking about how men's looks don't matter yet talking about and highlighting the *goregous* girlfriends of other men.

 

So yes, it does appear they are the only women that matter when men want to lift each other up about how even average guys and hot guys are getting "gorgeous" women.

 

 

I love a gorgeous pornstar type but I can date a regular everyday cutie with a nice personality as well and be very satisfied

 

Considering that most women are regular everyday women and not pornstar types, that's kind of what you are stuck with. You are seriously not doing any "regular everyday cuties" any favors by dating her while you sometimes go off to masturbate to the type of women you really enjoy and who you are calling "goregous" behind her back.

[pbjbear]

There's no secret that men like gorgeous women (just as the opposite of course) but "only women that matter to men" sorry no. There is a nerd thread where there were several pictures posted of ladies who weren't the classic gorgeous model type and lots of men found them attractive (myself included and I have very high standards)

 

 

I love a gorgeous pornstar type but I can date a regular everyday cutie with a nice personality as well and be very satisfied

 

Yeah, thousands of men who date those cuties everyday yet secretly fantasize constantly about pornstars and wish they had the options to attain them. Some women do this too I will admit but this is def more of a guy thing...

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Yeah, thousands of men who date those cuties everyday yet secretly fantasize constantly about pornstars and wish they had the options to attain them. Some women do this too I will admit but this is def more of a guy thing...

 

Yes...and lets not forget that there seems to be this attitude that these "cuties" should be happy with this setup and think their man is the most wonderful thing since sliced bread for his estimation of her 'cuteness" to his estimation of other women's "hotness" . Because we all know every woman feels thrilled to be called "cutie" while her man talks about how hot and goregous other women are behind her back. We know the chances of him telling these "cuties" to their faces that he really thinks the pornstars are hotter is slim to none.

[SteveC80]

Lets stop the bull***** women and men are equally as shallow.people are as shallow as their options..

 

You end up with an average man because you are average yourself im tired of some women acting like they could have had a 10 but went out with the 5 because women are less shallow and look more inside the perosn then men, its nonsense

[Revolver]

A couple of thoughts

 

1.The better lookin man just like the better looking girl will always has an advantage when it comes to dating success, that's just the way it is. People pointing this out doesnt make them insecure, that's the reality of the situation. The average or below average guy has to try harder and put in much more work to be successful. Tbh alot of the most attractive guys I know are lame as hell lol, but they still pull women of their looks. That's an advantage most men don't have

 

2. People like to say men place more values on looks then women and I might agree with that but it can easily be argued that young women are just as shallow when it comes to physical appearance in their partners as young men(or men in general). Alot of women like to say "well we women look at so many different factors when it comes to judging mates" and I'm like yeah.... Now lol. Lets keep it real, you didnt give a **** about 95% of those "factors" when you were 20. You wanted the hottest guy you could get just like the boys wanted the hottest girl.

[pbjbear]

A couple of thoughts

 

1.The better lookin man just like the better looking girl will always has an advantage when it comes to dating success, that's just the way it is. People pointing this out doesnt make them insecure, that's the reality of the situation. The average or below average guy has to try harder and put in much more work to be successful. Tbh alot of the most attractive guys I know are lame as hell lol, but they still pull women of their looks. That's an advantage most men don't have

 

2. People like to say men place more values on looks then women and I might agree with that but it can easily be argued that young women are just as shallow when it comes to physical appearance in their partners as young men(or men in general). Alot of women like to say "well we women look at so many different factors when it comes to judging mates" and I'm like yeah.... Now lol. Lets keep it real, you didnt give a **** about 95% of those "factors" when you were 20. You wanted the hottest guy you could get just like the boys wanted the hottest girl.

 

Perhaps younger women are the same...I dont know...none of my highschool female friends went for the school hotties...in fact my highschool "boyfriend" (dont really count him) won me over with his goofiness. I remember the frst time I looked at him I kept thinking of owls

 

I see what youre saying, but men well above the age of 20 still put more emphasis on looks than women

[pbjbear]

You are seriously delusional

 

 

First of all read, what I said earlier in that many or even most guys in relationships don't watch porn because it kills your sensitivity and we want to feel as much as possible

 

 

Second of all, most guys just need somebody who they are at least somewhat attracted to to be satisfied in their relationships.

 

 

Third of all, guys who are in love with their average girlfriends think those women are the greatest thing on the face of this planet. I know tons of guys who date average gals who tell me that they feel that their GF is a "10/10" to them, and that's all that matters

 

Wow...that is soooooooooooooo not true. You are so naiive. If you dont watch porn when you have a gf, good for you! Thats a huge compliment. Girls are taught over and over again that a man watching porn while in a rel is no big deal and we should accept it.

 

And sorry, you may think the other poster is delusional...I dont think she is. I think shes realistic. Shes saying what most men wont admit because if they did- theyd seem awful and they know it.

 

It is true- most married men who have wives that are too hot for them still think they can always do better...if they are nice husbands they are just tactful enough to not make it obvious. Get to know a bunch of married couples and get married men to talk about their feelings when they are sure their wife will never find out and youd be surprised to find what a nice, normal husband has to say on the matter.

 

Us girls are told to accept it and "boys will be boys" yet in the reverse situation, most men get offended.

[Revolver]

Lets stop the bull***** women and men are equally as shallow.people are as shallow as their options..

 

You end up with an average man because you are average yourself im tired of some women acting like they could have had a 10 but went out with the 5 because women are less shallow and look more inside the perosn then men, its nonsense

 

There are elements of truth to this

 

"I could've pulled that handsome doctor making 300,000 a year but I decided that wasn't for me and wanted to date average Steve who works at best buy"

 

Lmao, I've seen statements similar to this time and time again.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Women don't do the same thing?

 

Everytime I see these "women's looks aren't that important" threads started by women, there's always mentions of some good looking, successful, educated bachelor deciding to marry an overweight divorced gal over somebody who is hot, young and has no baggage

 

I don't think women do the same thing. Not on the same level men do. I am not saying women are perfect or that they don't have things they can be shallow about. However, I see a lot of men actively pursue their fantasy lives and say things like you do about "cuties" vs "pornstar types" and want women to act like your doing them a big service or something because your with "cuties". I see a lot of men split their time between their real life girlfriends and living in the fantasies and encouraging their partners to dress more like or be more like their fantasies sometimes.

 

I see a lot of women saying things like, "he's the sexist man in the world", even if he isn't the sexist man because he is the sexist to *her*. She isn't going on about how much better other men are over her own boyfriend and calling him a "cutie" in the face of other men's hottness. I in general think women tend to be more loyal and less shallow. This isn't to say that men are horrible people. However, women usually exert more time and energy into their relationship developements and understanding themselves even when it's a long road to do that. Alot of guys aren't as intouch with themselves to go those lengths sometimes.

 

 

 

Most guys I know in relationships don't actually masturbate or watch much porn (if at all). Too much porn kills your cock's sensitivity and makes it hard to cum

 

 

So your points are definitely invalid

 

Yeah..your totally wrong. Lots of men in relationships look at porn. Regardless of that, even if a guy isn't watching porn while in a relationship, He still has seen porn and probably lots of it. *You* still made a clear distinction between women in porn and regular "cuties". And you made it sound like you were doing something really grand because of it.

 

How many girlfriends have you told thaty ou believe porn types are goregous while you told them what "cuties" they where?

 

If all your arugment is ever going to be is, "women do it too!" I don't think we are going to have an indepth discussion.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I've talked to a lot of guys about this and it seems the majority of them do not watch porn because you don't want your sensitivity to go down so much. I was seeing this older woman (seeing, not even having dating or anything) and I stopped watching porn because it was hurting my ability to cum too much

 

 

I think the men who watch porn in Rs are usually either abnormally high sex drive or they don't get enough sex with their GF

 

A) I don't know if in this situation whether a man is looking at porn or not matters. You still made a distinction between "porn types" and their gorgeousness vs "cuties". Sorry but do you really believe any woman is going to feel her boyfriend or husband thinks she is a ten when he makes that kind of comment or parrell between women?

 

B) I like your reasons why men watch porn. It's either because the man is a huge sexual tiger he needs so much more sexual relief or it's simply his gf's fault that she isn't meeting his needs. Funny how unaccountable a man is for why he watches porn. Could be because he doesn't know how to control himself and lets his body dictate his desires and actions. Not a lot of women respect men that are lead around by their penis.

 

It's not a billion dollar business because only single guys are looking at porn Babe. Sorry.

[pbjbear]

I've talked to a lot of guys about this and it seems the majority of them do not watch porn because you don't want your sensitivity to go down so much. I was seeing this older woman (seeing, not even having dating or anything) and I stopped watching porn because it was hurting my ability to cum too much

 

 

I think the men who watch porn in Rs are usually either abnormally high sex drive or they don't get enough sex with their GF

 

 

 

 

 

You're very very cynical about men and it's just not based on reality. There are lots and lots of examples of men with avg girlfriends who think those gals are the greatest thing on the face of this planet

 

Go take a visit at some of the Sexual Reproductive forums on this site. Over 90% of men say they watch porn in a relationship occasionally when they have sex whenever they want and it has no bearing on their girlfriend or their feelings. Drilled over and over again. Im not exaggerating this...I personally do not know any men who do what you do and your friends do. Where do you live? Seriously, I wish I could find a guy who stopped using porn while dating me

 

These men that go on and on about how their wife is a 10...im betting good $ they do it in front of their wife. Get a married man around a woman who is a 10, even when hes happily married, and see his behavior.

 

Im not cynical, Im realistic. Sorry if that offends you at all

[Woggle]

I could have married a woman who is model material but I choose not to because she got on my nerves. My wife is model material as well but what made me want to make her a wife was way beyond looks.

[KungFuJoe]

pbjbear,

 

Let me give you MY example of porn.

 

I rarely jerk off these days, but on the off chance that I do...I just can't get off on "mental images" alone. I'll sit there and whack off for hours. It just isn't happening. Now, if I had "porn" of my wife...I'd use THAT. But, we have kids that use our cell phones and ipads to play games and the OFF CHANCE that they could somehow "uncover" it...oh hell no.

 

So I use porn. It's just a means to an end. I don't consider the porn stars more attractive than my wife, in fact it's the other way around. But beggars can't be choosers.

[pbjbear]

pbjbear,

 

Let me give you MY example of porn.

 

I rarely jerk off these days, but on the off chance that I do...I just can't get off on "mental images" alone. I'll sit there and whack off for hours. It just isn't happening. Now, if I had "porn" of my wife...I'd use THAT. But, we have kids that use our cell phones and ipads to play games and the OFF CHANCE that they could somehow "uncover" it...oh hell no.

 

So I use porn. It's just a means to an end. I don't consider the porn stars more attractive than my wife, in fact it's the other way around. But beggars can't be choosers.

 

I use porn too. There I said. I know, crazy women these days. I must be cuckoo

 

Im not saying there is anything wrong with porn. Id be a hypocrite. Im prob more visual than the average woman though.

 

But DJ is insisting most guys dont use porn in a relationship where they get frequent sex. In this day and age with porn so readibly accessible and the tons of sexual images shoved down our throats everyday that is not the case. Sometimes it affects a rel, sometimes not. In my exclusive relationships I occasionally did it but that didnt mean I didnt like the guy I was seeing.

 

Ive said this 100x but I really do think the men that flock to this site differ from the average male

[pbjbear]

I could have married a woman who is model material but I choose not to because she got on my nerves. My wife is model material as well but what made me want to make her a wife was way beyond looks.

 

You are an angel Woggle. If men acted like you these sites wouldnt exist in the first place

[SmileFace]

There are elements of truth to this

 

"I could've pulled that handsome doctor making 300,000 a year but I decided that wasn't for me and wanted to date average Steve who works at best buy"

 

Lmao, I've seen statements similar to this time and time again.

What wasn't for you? @ the statement ... I swear the **** people let fall out of their mouth.

[Woggle]

You are an angel Woggle. If men acted like you these sites wouldnt exist in the first place

 

I am far from an angel and there are plenty of men who are the same way. My neighbor has been married for thirty something years and even on vacation he turned down an offer to go to a strip club because he has the best at home.

[pbjbear]

You could drag a woman like pb&j to a good man but she would be kicking and screaming the whole way. It is just like how you can't lead a donkey to water.

 

 

Lol, I spend over 50% of my time here saying I wish I could find a decent man (one who is acually decent...not pretending to be decent during the courtship phase and then turns into an ass I mean)

 

Some people just cant accept some people have trouble dating or have bad luck I guess

Every guy I dated that I thought was decent, turned out not to be decent (like over 10 guys) or he lost interest in me (1 guy for the 2nd reason)

[Ceran]

Same here, I haven't witnessed it personally either. I have friends who's looks have faded but they're in the safety net of their marriage....which leads to the discussion of cheating. All goes back to a woman, her body and pleasing a man.

 

I personally was involved with a man for almost 2 years in a physical relationship but he wouldn't take me outside of the bedroom. WHY? I wasn't "dating material" in his eyes but he could sleep with me.

 

well probably you're not that good looking judging from your pic, and i can tell you're overweight too.. .

 

he's probably not a male model so he doesn't have a lot of options so he's happy to be getting laid, but hes not as bad looking as you (no offense)

 

so basically my theory is that if you wanted to date a fat ugly guy who would love you you could but you don't consider them

[pbjbear]

That sort of proves my assertion. You run after the wrong guys though there are plenty of decent ones. If you were paired with an actual decent guy you would bolt. You are already purposefully avoiding them if you wish to admit to it or not.

 

I dont care what you think. I dont bolt from decent men. I already told you I found one who turned out to not be faking it and he just lost interest in me...yeah Im not making excuses he told me he lost feelings for me and it wasnt anything I did wrong. I think he had some attachment issues/fears but he was a great guy.

 

You also seem to think its so so easy to be able to tell if a guy is faking being nice or not. I dont tend to date friends, I date people I dont know super well. Lots of guys are good at putting up a front and not showing their true colors later. I dont go for well known players/womanizers and I get hit on by them too. When I get the vibe a guy is a player or jerk I CUT HIM OFF. I have made so many posts about it.

 

You know it takes an average of 3 months for someone (both male and female) to relax and actually act like themselves with the person they date and not just show their best behavior? Thats why I dont rush into relationships

[pbjbear]

I've already met your type. You label the decent guy a player or jerk and the player as the decent guy but you can't see it since you don't want to. It is obvious to everyone else. That's why only very particular women have all these issues.

 

Why in the world would I label a decent guy as a player?

If I found a decent guy, I would be making sure every minute I didnt blow it.

I would like to find a decent guy. Im not turning away all the decent men.

I live in NYC, why do I know a ton of girls with the same dating issues as me? Do you understand what NYC culture is like (shallow, surplus of women, fewer men)?

 

If it was that obvious I guess all my blatantly honest and crass friends would have told me in the past 5 years...Im actually known for having a no bull**** attitude in my social circle

 

But keep thinking you have me figured out because I dont fit neatly into your little categories

[Ceran]

Same here, I haven't witnessed it personally either. I have friends who's looks have faded but they're in the safety net of their marriage....which leads to the discussion of cheating. All goes back to a woman, her body and pleasing a man.

 

I personally was involved with a man for almost 2 years in a physical relationship but he wouldn't take me outside of the bedroom. WHY? I wasn't "dating material" in his eyes but he could sleep with me.

 

A couple of thoughts

 

1.The better lookin man just like the better looking girl will always has an advantage when it comes to dating success, that's just the way it is. People pointing this out doesnt make them insecure, that's the reality of the situation. The average or below average guy has to try harder and put in much more work to be successful. Tbh alot of the most attractive guys I know are lame as hell lol, but they still pull women of their looks. That's an advantage most men don't have

 

2. People like to say men place more values on looks then women and I might agree with that but it can easily be argued that young women are just as shallow when it comes to physical appearance in their partners as young men(or men in general). Alot of women like to say "well we women look at so many different factors when it comes to judging mates" and I'm like yeah.... Now lol. Lets keep it real, you didnt give a **** about 95% of those "factors" when you were 20. You wanted the hottest guy you could get just like the boys wanted the hottest girl.

 

bingo

 

all the other stuff starts mattering once women are too old/ugly to get the hot guys anymore

[Woggle]

NYC culture is shallow but the shallowness is spread around quite evenly. Modern day NY is not a good environment for relationships. At least Manhattan isn't.

[pbjbear]

NYC culture is shallow but the shallowness is spread around quite evenly. Modern day NY is not a good environment for relationships. At least Manhattan isn't.

 

It isnt. I have several friends who had issues getting a boyfriend, moved to another state and had alot of men wanting to be their boyfriend.

 

Within the past year it has dawned on me that men in NYC Im finding have anti commitment attitudes until they are in their late 30's...because an average guy has more options here than he does in most other parts of the USA. I read this blog of an average guy moving to Ohio to NYC and he got a different date every day for 3 weeks straight (and he didnt use online dating) and he was bragging to men you can get sex so much easier here than anywhere else. With fewer women, women here are more likely to put out quickly...You know the saying...men are only as faithful/committed as their options.

 

However, I do have about 5 girlfriends who have great boyfriends...so it is doable, just unlikely.

[Woggle]

Try searching for some native New Yorkers. They tend to have a different attitude than the ones who move from Middle America so they can live the big city life.