Author kristi628 Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 I seriously doubt he will. He knew I was home all day yesterday waiting for people to pick up the washer and dryer. He didn't show. Then again she was off so she was probably w him all day. But if he does I have no idea pretending I'm not home or telling him I will call the cops if he doesn't leave. This is unforgivable. I don't care to hear anything he has to say. Thank you for the strong character comment. I don't feel stron right now but I'm tired of being weak.
Samilia Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I seriously doubt he will. He knew I was home all day yesterday waiting for people to pick up the washer and dryer. He didn't show. Then again she was off so she was probably w him all day. But if he does I have no idea pretending I'm not home or telling him I will call the cops if he doesn't leave. This is unforgivable. I don't care to hear anything he has to say. Thank you for the strong character comment. I don't feel stron right now but I'm tired of being weak. I don't know one person who hasn't been taken advantage of, on purpose or not. What happened doesn't define who you are, that doesn't mean that you're naive, or weak, like you said. This anger that you feel right now I see it as a good thing. That's what powered me through identical moments in my life. Basically make good things happen out of a bad experience. I hope I don't sound like a bs life coach, that's really what made good things happen to me, like going back to school, or losing 20 pounds. Just stick to your guns and call tomorrow day one of the new improved you.
Leigh 87 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 She will. Again, because I went through this exact same situation. Where I was living in bliss, my guy was living a double life behind my back. Screwing his ex, keeping things from me, lying. It took almost three years, but eventually his true person came out and I was just... floored. To say the least. People like my ex and your ex do not change. Don't think he's in some magically fantastic relationship. He's not. He's putting on a front, she's falling for it. When he gets sick of her, bored of her, he'll do the same to her. I know this, because what my ex did to me, is exactly what he did to HIS ex right before me. And he won't stop. He'll treat the next girl exactly the way he did me. When people treat you like s.hit just know that there is something wrong with THEM, not with you. Because normal people don't go around destroying other human beings. Do you really think guys like that won't change? ..Maybe that is where karma will come into it: imagine they finally meet a girl who they fall in love with (as in, PROPPER love, the love of his life) ...Only for her to break HIS heart for a change:bunny: 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Do you really think guys like that won't change? ..Maybe that is where karma will come into it: imagine they finally meet a girl who they fall in love with (as in, PROPPER love, the love of his life) ...Only for her to break HIS heart for a change:bunny: Hopefully she breaks his dick too. Justice served.
Samilia Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Hopefully she breaks his dick too. Justice served. LOL That's a line I need to remember. 1
Leigh 87 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 The thing I want girls to remember is: even if jerks like this DO find a girl they ARE truly in love with, to the point where they DONT ever want to cheat or act like their usual jerk like self...... ...This girl that is the love of his life - she is NOT LUCKY!!! Would YOU want a guy that treated you well, but had treated every other girl he had EVER been with like complete sh*t? It would be SUCH a turn off if I knew my partner was like that... History of cheating, etc...
Author kristi628 Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 I may have made another mistake. I messaged the gf. I felt she had a right to know what happened. I didnt go into detail, I just gave her the information in a way that did not come off malicious. She responded saying she appreciated me telling her. Had some questions just so she had the "full story." I answered her questions and never heard back. My ex then immediately texted our mutual friend saying i was being "ridiculous" and that he "didnt want to have anything to do with me." He is finally going over this weekend to get ALL of his furniture and be out for good. Notice he never said I was lying, but that I was being "ridiculous." Anyway, i checked FB again to see if she responded. Nothing. But to find out that she blocked me on fb. I was afraid he wouldnt transfer money for rent (didnt think about that when I messaged her) but then found an email saying that he had transferred money and there was a note attached to it....."PLEASE JUST STOP!" What the heck did that mean? That made me feel like I have been chasing him or cant just let him go. May I remind you that every single time we talked was bc he initiated conversation. I would ignore or give one word answers. And after the ONE time we saw each other, I got up and changed me number. Blocked him from my email. That made me feel like he had told me he chose her and i just couldnt accept it. When I hadnt heard from him since last week! And from what I can tell, she stayed with him. Smooth talker he must be. Crazy i must be to her. Enough to block on fb. But i guess it doesnt matter. i tried to give her the info, was not my job to convince her of anything. That was her choice.
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Well. You should have once again followed advice given: absolute no contact. With either of them;don't play nice. In reality,it wasn't even that, was it? You just where hoping she'd believe you, leave him, hurt him,and ruin his name(something time would have done.) Now you're no more than his crazy ex. He lied to her or she doesn't care. She slept with him, whilst he was with you -- he sleeps around on her -- she probably sleeps around too. Jerry Springer would like a call. This is a mess. He could easily lie and make you out to be crazy. You need pictures and texts or things of that nature to confront a case like this to someone else. Seriously, stop.
geegirl Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 It was not about her right to know. You did it because you wanted to hurt him, hoping she would leave him and then he would suffer the same pains you are going through. He probably pacified her and now you look like the nutjob. Let it go. 1
Author kristi628 Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 I understand all this. And I knew what was going to happen. And yes, she still had a right to know. I was aware this would go this way. But at some point enough it enough when being walked all over. I didn't want him back and still don't. They can stay together. I'm not shocked if they do. And I have been sick over this too bc I didnt want to hurt her. Despite what my actions would suggest. And no, I don't bieve time would have done anything. Years go by and he still woulnt say anything to her. It's not right either.
Author kristi628 Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 And I had wished someone came and told me when he was messing around behind my back. I even confronted a few and they just said to talk to him. I wish those girls ha the guys to tell me the truth and spare me being in this position. Call it selfish if you want. After the years j went through I needed to do something selfish for once. Maybe he will think twice next time. Yes it's sad I had to be made the example but I guess that was y role Not saying I'm a saint. But people don't deserve to be treated this way then act like nothjn happened
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I understand all this. And I knew what was going to happen. And yes, she still had a right to know. I was aware this would go this way. But at some point enough it enough when being walked all over. I didn't want him back and still don't. They can stay together. I'm not shocked if they do. And I have been sick over this too bc I didnt want to hurt her. Despite what my actions would suggest. And no, I don't bieve time would have done anything. Years go by and he still woulnt say anything to her. It's not right either. Nothing stay in the dark forever. So...90 years, eh? Even if 90 years passed by, eventually. No one's perfect, ha...they do slipup. You wanted him to be hurt, I'd imagine. Actions tell more than words. Sure, sure...she should know. But the way you did it was wrong. Cause with no proof you come off as the insane ex, jealous,and spinning a web. Beside this, it is not what's good for her,no? It's what's good for you....
Author kristi628 Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 Have proof. I offered. She wasnt interested I suppose. And that's fine. It's there if she needed it. She wasnt rude or anything. She wanted to know the full story. I told her. She told me she appreciated it. I did it fully expecting not to be believed. And yes, it was about getting a message across to him to. That's not okay to treat people this way. Every girl before had kept her mouth shut and never warned the next. He can think i'm crazy all he wants. This is a sure way to make sure he NEVER contacts me again. And the sad thing is that people keep asking me why I care after all is said and done. As much as you all may thing, I DONT like hurting people. And i dont like to see people hurt. And normally I'm everyone's door mat. SOmeone that can just walk all over. That stops today. You might not all agree with everything i do or say. And that's fine. Despite what yuo may thing, I do value the support and advice I was given. I also know that not every situation is the same. People mess up. And i never thought i was the person capable of this in the first place. Then again I never thought I would have been treated the way I was. 2
Samilia Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Right or wrong, now it's done. You can start nc, I'd block her too for that matter. For how long does he have to pay you rent? Also, about his furniture, I would set a specific time and date, I'd put all his crap outside if it's safe, inside by the front door if it's not. That way he can't go around the house and you won't have to see him if you don't want to.
geegirl Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 With these types, outing them doesn't change who they are. He will cheat again, if it gives him what he needs. He's not going to learn from this or use it as a lesson for his next impulse to cheat. If you were trying to teach him a lesson, there was no lesson because the gf probably forgave him, thereby again, enabling his behavior. When I broke up with my ex, I had a woman contact me that she was with him while he was with me. We both confronted him. He still cheats. This is a blessing because he will not contact you again. You are free to start your healing. 1
Author kristi628 Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 He just paid this month. Last payment. Picking up furniture this saturday. Friend will be there to deliver keys to him and wait until he is finished, lock up and be done with it. 1
Leigh 87 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 I would also have told her. Why? Because I am just SO angry towards these pathetic excuses for men, who cheat. ......I am SO.. SO hatefull towards people like your ex! They have NO strength of character, they are weak, they are too stupid to figure out that they are better of waiting for a girl they are really into, who they WON'T cheat on! Sorry but girls have the right to know if the guy they like is being intimate with other girls! I WOULD NEVER knowingly waste my time with a man who cheated, or even wanted to. If they cheated and failed to tell me, then wow! Just wow. They have taken my right to find a guy that does not cheat, away from me. Yes that girl deserved to know. Even though she will not do anything, due to being etrapped by her feelings and his smooth talking! She will look back and know you were right some day. I freakin HOPE that day is soon, and that she does not waste precious years with this creep:sick: Good for you going no contact essentially....I can tell your serious about never wanting to talk to him again. I believe you told her mostly because it was the right thing to do.
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 With these types, outing them doesn't change who they are. He will cheat again, if it gives him what he needs. He's not going to learn from this or use it as a lesson for his next impulse to cheat. If you were trying to teach him a lesson, there was no lesson because the gf probably forgave him, thereby again, enabling his behavior. When I broke up with my ex, I had a woman contact me that she was with him while he was with me. We both confronted him. He still cheats. This is a blessing because he will not contact you again. You are free to start your healing. This is true. A serial cheater is remorless and will not easily stop. Didn't my ex, who I loved for four years...was going to marry, cheat on me with four different guys...all the time wearing an evil smile? A smile! They do not repent.
Samilia Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 That's why I left my ex, I knew he was a cheater, and habitual liar. I had caught him in a few lies, mostly white. I couldn't trust him, it was always in the back of my mind. One night we were having a drink, I spitted it out, and just like that, we were done. What a relief, honestly.
Recommended Posts