superb Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I've found my problem with dating and men. I talk too much and over communicate! I thought it was good to be self expressive but really it freaks people out I guess. Another one bites the dust - Cause I couldn't keep my mouth shut....dang.
Dangraystyle Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Can you go into more detail? I'm curious, because sometimes I wonder if I do it too much
Ladybugz Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 i laugh my ass of today when someone says to another one whats your questions? cause this is not a blog area. hahahahhahahahahhahahahahahaahhaaha
sabre80 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Ill choose a chatterbox over the silent type any day. Maybe I am biased. I spent 9 years married to THE silent treatment. Communication is hot. No such thing as too much hot. 1
Author superb Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 i laugh my ass of today when someone says to another one whats your questions? cause this is not a blog area. hahahahhahahahahhahahahahahaahhaaha Wasn't aware I had to ask questions in order to post here....
Author superb Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 Can you go into more detail? I'm curious, because sometimes I wonder if I do it too much I tend to share too much too soon. Example: info about previous relationships, why they failed and I question where the relationhip is going, too soon. I'm feeling that men see that as a weakness/insecurity on my part when my attitude needs to be that I don't care as much as I truly do. I expressed my doubt in his intentions, he acted shocked and said I confused and over complicated things and now isnt talking to me.
Treasa Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I tend to share too much too soon. Example: info about previous relationships, why they failed and I question where the relationhip is going, too soon. I'm feeling that men see that as a weakness/insecurity on my part when my attitude needs to be that I don't care as much as I truly do. I expressed my doubt in his intentions, he acted shocked and said I confused and over complicated things and now isnt talking to me. I don't think the problem is that you're communicating too much. The problem is that you're acting insecure and questioning them. No one likes to be questioned about their intent, especially if they haven't done anything wrong. Communication is fine, but I would keep it about upbeat things in the beginning, and if you do have to vent, vent briefly about how someone annoyed you at work, or how you got a flat tire, but not about past boyfriends or how you think the current one feels about you. 2
mustangguy29 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I tend to share too much too soon. Example: info about previous relationships, why they failed and I question where the relationhip is going, too soon. I'm feeling that men see that as a weakness/insecurity on my part when my attitude needs to be that I don't care as much as I truly do. I expressed my doubt in his intentions, he acted shocked and said I confused and over complicated things and now isnt talking to me. You should not be talking about previous relationships unless the other person asks, and you should only answer what is asked. Think cliff notes, not the Odyssey. Thinking about you with your past partners is a big turn off. Additionally, we see it as you not really being over your past. If you were over it, you wouldn't be telling us all bout it. Finally, we don't want to pay for the bad relationships you had in the past. We want a clean slate and to be treated as who we are, not as who you dated in the past. That might come off as a bit harsh, just trying to help. 2
Author superb Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 I don't think the problem is that you're communicating too much. The problem is that you're acting insecure and questioning them. No one likes to be questioned about their intent, especially if they haven't done anything wrong. Communication is fine, but I would keep it about upbeat things in the beginning, and if you do have to vent, vent briefly about how someone annoyed you at work, or how you got a flat tire, but not about past boyfriends or how you think the current one feels about you. If the guy asks, I tell him...I'm going to close up a bit though. Not only am I looking foolish, I feel I'm giving ammunition to hurt me by being so vulnerable.
TaraMaiden Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 i laugh my ass of today when someone says to another one whats your questions? cause this is not a blog area. hahahahhahahahahhahahahahahaahhaaha You're fairly new here. That's nice. But you need to learn some manners. There's blunt advice, and there's plain rude. And you are bluntly rude, unfortunately. Learn Forum requirements and basics before responding to someone who's been here a good while longer than you have, and knows what they're doing. Just a bit of friendly advice. TM *nearly 15k posts and counting* Old and experienced timer. 1
Treasa Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 If the guy asks, I tell him...I'm going to close up a bit though. Not only am I looking foolish, I feel I'm giving ammunition to hurt me by being so vulnerable. It's like when a potential interviewer asks you during an interview why you left your last job. You don't go on about how your previous boss treated you like crap. You just say it didn't work out or it didn't seem to be going anywhere. 1
Author superb Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 You should not be talking about previous relationships unless the other person asks, and you should only answer what is asked. Think cliff notes, not the Odyssey. Thinking about you with your past partners is a big turn off. Additionally, we see it as you not really being over your past. If you were over it, you wouldn't be telling us all bout it. Finally, we don't want to pay for the bad relationships you had in the past. We want a clean slate and to be treated as who we are, not as who you dated in the past. That might come off as a bit harsh, just trying to help. I understand that. Theres a back story I'm not comfy talking about publicly really. It's time I evaluate me & give dating a rest.
Dangraystyle Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I tend to share too much too soon. Example: info about previous relationships, why they failed and I question where the relationhip is going, too soon. I'm feeling that men see that as a weakness/insecurity on my part when my attitude needs to be that I don't care as much as I truly do. I expressed my doubt in his intentions, he acted shocked and said I confused and over complicated things and now isnt talking to me. That's because it is weakness and insecurity. That's why you busy your life with as many different hobbies and interesting things as possible, so you don't have to depend on another person for your happiness. You become more desirable too.
pbjbear Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I tend to share too much too soon. Example: info about previous relationships, why they failed and I question where the relationhip is going, too soon. I'm feeling that men see that as a weakness/insecurity on my part when my attitude needs to be that I don't care as much as I truly do. I expressed my doubt in his intentions, he acted shocked and said I confused and over complicated things and now isnt talking to me. If you only doubted his intentions once, he sounds a little skiddish. With the way people treat one another these days, I would give him the benefit of the doubt if a guy was distrustful of my intentions once. If he repeatedly did it over and over, thats a different story (one of the first guys I ever dated longer than a month or two did this, and it did affect my feelings for him when he continually did it) But at least now you know what to do in the future...
Author superb Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 It's like when a potential interviewer asks you during an interview why you left your last job. You don't go on about how your previous boss treated you like crap. You just say it didn't work out or it didn't seem to be going anywhere. lol....youre right. Lesson learned
pbjbear Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I would recommend trying to not become invest too soon. I dont really get invested until at least 2 months in, or at least thats how I have been in the past few years. Why? How someone acts in the beginning is rarely a true representation of themselves I find. Also, you should focus more if YOU want to be with him, not if HE wants to be with you. What does he have to offer? Dont focus on your ego and ignore if hes right for you. Most girls need a major self esteem booster these days 1
Author superb Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 You're fairly new here. That's nice. But you need to learn some manners. There's blunt advice, and there's plain rude. And you are bluntly rude, unfortunately. Learn Forum requirements and basics before responding to someone who's been here a good while longer than you have, and knows what they're doing. Just a bit of friendly advice. TM *nearly 15k posts and counting* Old and experienced timer. Thanks TaraMaiden: I'm just trying to share my experiences here like everyone else
Author superb Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 I would recommend trying to not become invest too soon. I dont really get invested until at least 2 months in, or at least thats how I have been in the past few years. Why? How someone acts in the beginning is rarely a true representation of themselves I find. Also, you should focus more if YOU want to be with him, not if HE wants to be with you. What does he have to offer? Dont focus on your ego and ignore if hes right for you. Most girls need a major self esteem booster these days You're right. I don't know him well enough to really question him at this point. I see what I've done wrong here. I deleted his # so I wouldn't keep sending texts out of frustration or because he hasn't responded. Last msg I sent said "I'm sorry I've made you feel this way, call me if you want to talk". He hasn't called so I'm leaving it alone. Before I make things worse.
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