sadbunnyy Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 It's been about 4 months since the break up and I'm starting to feel like myself again. I no longer feel depressed over the whole situation. I'm starting to gain confidence in myself and MY future...without him. I no longer think of him constantly and wanting to get back together. It feels great! There are times when I do think of him but I don't have that over whelming feeling of sadness anymore. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted and I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I will love myself enough. I don't need him or any man to make me happy. If he didn't appreciate me, then someone else will. It felt like my world ended when he left me but now I see that life goes on and I am slowly moving on. Its a slow process but time does heal. Looking back, I now know that I do deserve better and maybe breaking up was for the best. I love myself and I complete ME. I can't hate him anymore...so I'll wish him the best and move on with my life because the only people I need in my life are the ones that need me in theirs. 5
cavalier99 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Hi Sadbunny. That is great! I remember how rough a time you were having not very long ago it is fantastic to hear that you are feeling so much better. I'm sure you will meet the right guy who will complement you and make you a priority soon enough. But even more important you don't even need that right now! My breakup was also very beginning of October. You give me hope ill completely turn the corner sometime soon. Take care. Cav 2
Loved77 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 It's been about 4 months since the break up and I'm starting to feel like myself again. I no longer feel depressed over the whole situation. I'm starting to gain confidence in myself and MY future...without him. I no longer think of him constantly and wanting to get back together. It feels great! There are times when I do think of him but I don't have that over whelming feeling of sadness anymore. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted and I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I will love myself enough. I don't need him or any man to make me happy. If he didn't appreciate me, then someone else will. It felt like my world ended when he left me but now I see that life goes on and I am slowly moving on. Its a slow process but time does heal. Looking back, I now know that I do deserve better and maybe breaking up was for the best. I love myself and I complete ME. I can't hate him anymore...so I'll wish him the best and move on with my life because the only people I need in my life are the ones that need me in theirs. So good to hear I'm only 1 month NC so a little behind you still. May I ask did yoi suffer from anxiety in the early stages of your BU? 1
Debbie2508 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 1 month for me too, it's soo hard. Just wanna forget and feel better. Thanks for giving me hope Sadbunnyy and glad you're almost there 1
Loved77 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 same here. 1 month of NC and im dying.... 1 month for me too, it's soo hard. Just wanna forget and feel better. Thanks for giving me hope Sadbunnyy and glad you're almost there Mine BU was 6pm NYE. I'm not sure if I triggered something though I seem to be suffering from constant anxiety when i'm awake. Is this the case with you guys as well?
Debbie2508 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Mine BU was 6pm NYE. I'm not sure if I triggered something though I seem to be suffering from constant anxiety when i'm awake. Is this the case with you guys as well? Yes, definitely feeling the constant anxiety,along with a racing heart and feeling shaky. The worst part for me is replaying the whole relationship over and over in my head 24/7 like some far fetched soap opera!
Loved77 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Yes, definitely feeling the constant anxiety,along with a racing heart and feeling shaky. The worst part for me is replaying the whole relationship over and over in my head 24/7 like some far fetched soap opera! Well in a strange way i'm glad you said that as it does not mean i'm the only one who thinks i'm going crazy. At least we are going through very similar feelings so it must be normal. I got a script of meds from the Doc today incase I need them to calm down but havn't used them yet. Are you taking any medication or going cold turkey naturally?
h3braica Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 having sleepless nights thinking of him and the BU. i read a lot for distraction but no effect. wake up everyday (3am, 4am..) with thoughts of him. i tried to keep myself busy still no effect he's at the back of my mind. i hope he feels it too.
Debbie2508 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Going cold turkey atm but have made doctors appointment for Friday, hoping to get referred to a counsellor, rather than go down the meds route.... but we'll see. Would try anything to get over this feeling!! It is good to know I'm not alone in how I'm feeling even though I wouldn't wish it on anyone else.
h3braica Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Yes, definitely feeling the constant anxiety,along with a racing heart and feeling shaky. The worst part for me is replaying the whole relationship over and over in my head 24/7 like some far fetched soap opera! same here! i cannot think straight.
Debbie2508 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 h3braica, just read your story on another thread and its really similar to my own... i.e ex leaving due to his children. Really hard to come to terms with.
Coping Vortex Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 same here! i cannot think straight. I think we are in the same place. I have only had two hours sleep in 10 weeks. I wish you could PM me. I think we could trade some insights. I can PM now. But I think both members have to be able to PM before you can have a private message conversation.
iouaname Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 That's great! I hope to be where you are shortly. 1
h3braica Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I think we are in the same place. I have only had two hours sleep in 10 weeks. I wish you could PM me. I think we could trade some insights. I can PM now. But I think both members have to be able to PM before you can have a private message conversation. 2 hrs sleep in 10 weeks????!!! hey! don't think too much. if u get sick will she cares for u? definitely not!
h3braica Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 h3braica, just read your story on another thread and its really similar to my own... i.e ex leaving due to his children. Really hard to come to terms with. hi debbie, one day we will find the right man for us, the man who will treat us right and love us forever. i'm looking forward to that day. i hope and pray that God will take away this pain in our hearts. i'm missing my old self. cannot remember the last time i smile. sigh! 1
hudson701 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 1 month NC too...still very hard and raw. Torturing myself as usual about her having sex with other people when I'm nowhere near that ready at the moment, couldn't even kiss another girl.
mano Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 me too, had a break up last night, n facing xtreme anxiety its awful, but ur post made me feel better n hope i will b fine. its not the first time. i had broken up with this same guy in the end of september but ended up giving him anohter chance n since then it just never got perfect n now again he did it to me. just can't stop thinking about him
Loved77 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Going cold turkey atm but have made doctors appointment for Friday, hoping to get referred to a counsellor, rather than go down the meds route.... but we'll see. Would try anything to get over this feeling!! It is good to know I'm not alone in how I'm feeling even though I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. I had acupuncture yesterday & while it didn't cure me it did make me feel better. I have another appointment Friday. So maybe give that a try as well.
Author sadbunnyy Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 So good to hear I'm only 1 month NC so a little behind you still. May I ask did yoi suffer from anxiety in the early stages of your BU? Yes, I did suffer from anxiety!!! It was really tough...I felt so weak and depressed but trust me it will slowly fade away!!! He was my first love, my first real relationship that lasted almost 3 years. I was devastated when it ended. I thought I would never get through...I constantly thought about getting him back but now I stand on my own. I no longer need him in my life!! It feels great to know that YOU are strong and YOU can overcome this! Stay strong! TIME WILL HEAL!!!
stevie_23 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I second this! Time is the ONLY thing that really, really heals. And it helps more if you can try to think positively and constructively during that time. Tell yourself everyday, TWICE a day even, that you are a GOOD person and that the actions and behaviour of your ex do NOT define you, they do NOT reflect on you and they do NOT represent who you are as a worthwhile person. Also, tell yourself that the relationship did not FAIL, but rather it was a valuable learning EXPERIENCE, and every single experience we go through builds and shapes us as the people we are and will become. GOOD people. With BIG hearts with an even bigger capacity to love again once we do heal. Sorry for all the CAPS. I am feeling feisty. Lol. 1
mano Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 he was my first too and we were together for 3 years, this anxiety is just too painful and the whole day today i kept fighting with myself n was about to text him , its just so hard
Loved77 Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 Yes, I did suffer from anxiety!!! It was really tough...I felt so weak and depressed but trust me it will slowly fade away!!! He was my first love, my first real relationship that lasted almost 3 years. I was devastated when it ended. I thought I would never get through...I constantly thought about getting him back but now I stand on my own. I no longer need him in my life!! It feels great to know that YOU are strong and YOU can overcome this! Stay strong! TIME WILL HEAL!!! So good to hear you say those words. Think i'm in the bargaining stage where I want her back still. I sleep reasonably well & can deal with it but when I wake up it all comes back to me again. Hopefully I get to the acceptance stage in the next few months. She works in the same area as I live so I get anxiety thinking that we will cross paths by accident. The secret is to keep busy & not spend to much time on your own I have found. 1
Caldespair Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 2 months since I was discarded after a fight. And this was after 20 plus years of marriage. My world is upside down. Ever day it gets better. I still have trouble sleeping and have ambien and xanaz for evenings before I go to bed. Even with this stuff good sleep is hard to come by. Hang in there and we shold keep looking forward.
Inviv_girl Posted January 31, 2013 Posted January 31, 2013 It's been about 4 months since the break up and I'm starting to feel like myself again. I no longer feel depressed over the whole situation. I'm starting to gain confidence in myself and MY future...without him. I no longer think of him constantly and wanting to get back together. It feels great! There are times when I do think of him but I don't have that over whelming feeling of sadness anymore. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted and I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I will love myself enough. I don't need him or any man to make me happy. If he didn't appreciate me, then someone else will. It felt like my world ended when he left me but now I see that life goes on and I am slowly moving on. Its a slow process but time does heal. Looking back, I now know that I do deserve better and maybe breaking up was for the best. I love myself and I complete ME. I can't hate him anymore...so I'll wish him the best and move on with my life because the only people I need in my life are the ones that need me in theirs. Hey thats a good news! Im so happy for you. Rock on!!!
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