Samilia Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 That's funny that you mention that because this morning I was at work at one of our meetings thinking something similar. A few of the guys are good looking and I was thinking to myself how I wish I could f*ck anybody I wanted without consequences. That'd be liberating. In "real life" I however don't think I could live with myself after that lol
mutant Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Never rolled that way,,,,, maybe I should. Really though, sounds like a way to get even instead of over. i agree.... ya don't fix the emo crap, you will find yourself in the next relationship with the same problems, different person. What a drag. I don't think I need to bag a bunch of dudes to get validation. Plus, I don't want to Ho myself out either! Would rather be a clean shiny new ride with the engine roaring for my new man! God forbid you try this and end up with the one who can't get it up or goes and cries! And lastly if that's what my ex is up to, all the more reason I should be glad he's gone...gone....gone! I don't think this is a way to get even or gain some sort of validation. Emotional problems are only solved by first evaluating yourself, identifying your mistakes and working towards improving your well being. Sex is just sex and should have nothing to do with suppressing emotions. I dont want to enter into a longterm relationship but want to enjoy sex and flirt around as much as i can. On the surplus, I have observed that I think less of my ex when I am with other girls. Flirting has enabled me make alot of female friends who are interested in just fun and nothing more. We are free birds that can perch on any branch the decision to do so is personal. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I don't think this is a way to get even or gain some sort of validation. Emotional problems are only solved by first evaluating yourself, identifying your mistakes and working towards improving your well being. Sex is just sex and should have nothing to do with suppressing emotions. I dont want to enter into a longterm relationship but want to enjoy sex and flirt around as much as i can. On the surplus, I have observed that I think less of my ex when I am with other girls. Flirting has enabled me make alot of female friends who are interested in just fun and nothing more. We are free birds that can perch on any branch the decision to do so is personal. I can confidently say that most females disagree with the bolded. 1
LostOne1 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 maybe i'm a nice guy or sometin.. but sleeping with other women was and probably still is a tough thing to do after a BU. I mean I loved my ex a lot and thinking of being with another women felt so uncomfortable even now it does at times. Guess I haven't fully moved on or trust that easily now. But for some people it works. For me I know I'd feel like **** thinking I slept with someone to make myself feel better and I'm quite sure I'd feel horrible after. Getting over someone for me is ALL about making ME happy with other things. Like a better career or job or making new friends, taking up a new hobby etc.. I think after a BU we need to GET AWAY from anything to do with love. Then after awhile we will miss it and want to return to the concept of love and that is usually when we have healed and moved on and ready for a new relationship. 1
Inviv_girl Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Does masturbating on porn count as slutting?
LostOne1 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Does masturbating on porn count as slutting? In my opinion Nope. That's you involving your OWN self. Which I think is fine.. it's when you involve someone ELSE that causes problems.
D-Lish Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Does masturbating on porn count as slutting? To some guys it does. To some guys even having a sexual thought before you ever met them defines you as judge-worthy. After my marriage fell apart, it took me some time, then I started dating. Coffee dates, dinner dates, hiking dates- it wasn't sexual, but it felt fun to get out. Doing that brought judgement- because apparently we have no right to seek out anything involving fun with the opposite gender unless we're 100% ready to fall in love again. So yes- watching porn is a violation- and so is being a friend to the opposite sex. We are all Lillith incarnate.
mutant Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 maybe i'm a nice guy or sometin.. but sleeping with other women was and probably still is a tough thing to do after a BU. I mean I loved my ex a lot and thinking of being with another women felt so uncomfortable even now it does at times. Guess I haven't fully moved on or trust that easily now. But for some people it works. For me I know I'd feel like **** thinking I slept with someone to make myself feel better and I'm quite sure I'd feel horrible after. Getting over someone for me is ALL about making ME happy with other things. Like a better career or job or making new friends, taking up a new hobby etc.. I think after a BU we need to GET AWAY from anything to do with love. Then after awhile we will miss it and want to return to the concept of love and that is usually when we have healed and moved on and ready for a new relationship. If you feel uncomfortable flirting or when sleeping with other women then you shouldn't do it. I don't think sex alone can help you get over an ex. Even strategies such as going out, meeting new people and making yourself busy aren't effective in the short-term. For me I rarely think of my ex when I am with other women. I also share common interests with these women and it's normally interesting hanging out with them. I agree that we should get away from anything to do with love after BU; however sex isn't love. The two ladies I am with seem to understand this.
mutant Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 To some guys it does. To some guys even having a sexual thought before you ever met them defines you as judge-worthy. After my marriage fell apart, it took me some time, then I started dating. Coffee dates, dinner dates, hiking dates- it wasn't sexual, but it felt fun to get out. Doing that brought judgement- because apparently we have no right to seek out anything involving fun with the opposite gender unless we're 100% ready to fall in love again. So yes- watching porn is a violation- and so is being a friend to the opposite sex. We are all Lillith incarnate. I don't mean to be judgemental but sounds like you have developed resentment towards men.
Hopeful714 Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Well to me, no..porn and masturbation are not slutting. Everyone needs a release. Right now I can't imagine coming home with a stranger or having one touch me for that matter. To me its scary out there. You don't know who your with, what your going to get, or what your going to bring home. Back in the day sure I've done that occasionally but I'm shocked in today's world how many people do this on a regular basis and for years. To mutant: You can say say sex is sex but I do think that applies mainly to men. Im sure there are more then several girls out there who will agree with you but I'd say the majority would not. Girls are way too emotional for that. Obviously I have little problem with porn. It would only pose a problem to me if it was taking priority over me in the bedroom and became a serious habit. Even casual sex...if that's what you want, and you can get it...have at it. My problem arises when someone doesn't speak clearly of what they are seeking from from you. Again this is where communication comes in. If you want casual sex fine...but I should be made AWARE it is casual and have the CHOICE if I want to participate or not before the deed....or I may get hurt.
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