Neither me or my ex have deleted any emails, email account or youtube videos

[stevie_23]

We were a LDR / online affair. Neither of us have deleted anything. Why is this?

 

I mean, I guess I know why I haven’t. I haven’t deleted anything we ever sent to each other in the email inbox we used to use. It’s all still there. I haven’t deleted any texts we sent to my phone either. Or any of the billion private Youtube videos I for him.

 

And he hasn’t deleted his email account that he used just for our interactions. All his Youtube videos he did for me are still active. I wonder why he would leave this email account in existence, since it’d be a risk if his wife ever went looking for it or tried to get into it. He also has me as his only “friend” on the songwriting forum we met on. He also still uses a quote of mine in his signature on that forum. AND I’m one of several friends on another songwriting forum, and yet we have absolutely NO contact and never speak in any way, shape or form (his choice when he left me 7 weeks ago).

 

I suspect he doesn’t want to delete those things because he knows I will be hurt if he does. So he just leaves everything the way it is. I also suspect (based on his personality and things we talked about) that he feels somehow, philosophically, existentially, universally, etc etc, that he “can’t” delete me from those things because he still loves me and even though he doesn’t want to be with me anymore and feels he can’t be with me anymore, he doesn’t see the need to delete me in that way.

 

After the third D-day with his wife last year, she got into his songwriting forum account and deleted the quote in his signature. I thought he’d done it and was hurt by this and when we talked later on, he said she had done it, not him, and that he’d never do that.

 

I definitely don’t take any of this as even a tiny hope that he would ever be with me again, but I just wondered…how many ex’s don’t bother or don’t feel the need to delete things and have total “cleansing” and closure in that way?

[FailedFirstLove]

For me I just wouldn't think of it... I just don't go on it. like on msn I didnt delete my ex cause I don't go on or use it much so it doesn't bother me. His stuff still around. Not because I want to keep it. Because icant look at it. I rather wait to heal first. Just don't feel like doing anything.

[bitterruin]

Question is , why does it matter? There's no use in wondering why our exes do the things they do. You're never going to get the answer to them unless you ask him, which is obviously something you can't do. So stop questioning it. Nothing will come of it anyway.

[stevie_23]

I know. And I'm working towards it not mattering to me at all, about this sort of stuff. I am 90% there, but not all there yet. If he DID delete the videos and deleted me as a friend on those sites, at first I'd feel a little bit like I'd been punched in the stomach. I am working towards that never happening hopefully (meaning if ever he does, and I somehow know about it, I won't care either way).

 

With him, yeah, it'd either be that he just doesn't see the need to do it, or it's too hard for him still. He does update those things though, daily.