M23 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I suppose I'm just out of a relationship? It ended 4 or so weeks ago now. I'm not sure why it finished apart from she was really, really insecure... I realised that if she couldn't even try to get over her insecurities, there was nothing I could do, I thought I loved her, but after the way shes treated me, lied to me since, and recently learned, before the breakup, I don't and can't love her now. I find that while I am single, I am happier, I get to do my own thing, be the best me I can be. When I am single though, I always feel like something is missing, what's missing is having someone special. I'm not 100% sure what I'm trying to say but I think its something like this. I feel like I am happier alone, yet I feel like I really want a relationship with someone. It's not that being single means I can have as much casual sex as I want. I am only interested in sex with someone I really connect with. The problem is that, while I don't usually jump into anything new this soon, usually there's months between girls. There is a certain girl I'm interested in, I'm not sure if she feels the same, but I get the vibe that she does. I know she's kinda liked me for a year now and she's a little part of the reason my ex was insecure, but she really had no reason to be. I don't feel like I need time to "rediscover" myself. It's just strange, since my ex finished with me, I've been thinking about this other girl a lot more every day. I'm not sure if I should go for it, see what happens, or leave it a little while in case I'm just trying to fill some sort of void? But is filling a void necessarily a bad thing? I mean, I could go on being single quite happily now. I'm just a little confused
Phateless Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I'm on sort of the other end. I'm in a relationship and happy but restless. part of me loves being single so I can do whatever I want ( hobbies, not hookups) , but I really love that cozy time together as well.
todreaminblue Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I hadn't been out of a relationship since my teens, I needed some serious time by myself so when i am in a relationship again I dont lose myself in it, I dont think i will this time, I know i can thrive in a relationship,but i am in no rush to just be in a relationship,unless it is th eright relationship, i do enjoy closeness, even though i am a bit of a loner too, I am loyal so i need to be loyal to someone deserving, and not put anothers needs first all the time, sometimes it needs to be me....not all the time, but sometimes i do need to treat myself.......thats is what i have learned in six years......deb
todreaminblue Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Then buy a dog. bad day eh tara.......deb
TaraMaiden Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Sorry deb, bad posting-timing! That remark was directed @ Phateless He's going thru some same old same-old stuff..... 1
TaraMaiden Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 Well get one and ditch the GF. A dog will never: answer back, make weird demands on you, complain about your behaviour or complicate your life. And they love a cuddle whenever you want one. 3
Author M23 Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 I literally got a puppy a week ago... He's amazing, doesnt quite replace having someone special though. It really is just a strange feeling I have at the moment, the first two weeks I really felt like I couldnt live without my ex, after some thinking and reflecting I realised, she was a bitch(to me anyway) tried to control me, never really trusted me, really clingy, which I liked at first but... But I was the person she was supposed to be in love with and even wanted a baby with... Glad I said I/we weren't ready. I won't go into too many details, I've done enough thinking about that myself recently. Now 5 weeks on, I don't care about her at all and I've just got this nagging feeling that I should try and see how this other girl feels. She's known I was seeing someone last year. Its kind of funny when my ex and me first had a big argument, she asked me what was up her advice was, bluntly, my ex didn't deserve me... Looking back there were quite a few instances where I thought, she still likes me. I think I'm maybe worried that she'll reject me, maybe she'll see herself as my sort of rebound? I don't want her to think that. I really don't think she would be that. I know I said I was happier alone, but after thinking about it, I would still be doing everything I am now, I've not picked up anything new to do. Maybe she isn't even interested in me anymore, so I suppose I have nothing to really lose. So I might tell her I like her, maybe? see what happens, I'm not sure what to say to her though.
nofool4u Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I am MUCH happier alone and simply dating casually. A relationship would be nice if I knew I wasn't getting a cheater, a controller, manipulator, insecure, jealous psycho beyotch. You just never can tell. So I'd rather be safe than sorry, and be able to live my life doing what I want, when I want, and answering to nobody. Being single is da sh*t. 1
TaraMaiden Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I literally got a puppy a week ago... He's amazing, doesnt quite replace having someone special though. . If you need any pointers on behaviour, get in touch. As a Dog behaviourist I'm only too happy to help.... 1
Luckydad Posted January 30, 2013 Posted January 30, 2013 I agree with the dog comment. It's been 3 years since I even entertained the thought of "being with someone". The urge to "fill the void" can be strong but logic should always trump primal instinct. You say you are happier not having someone have that much control over your life? Then the answer is right there. Only the weak give in to such foolishness. Stay strong and enjoy being in control of your your own happiness. 1
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