tme0 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I've been dating my boyfriend almost 8 months now. In the beginning he'd text all day everyday. The amount slowly decreased until it turned into hardly any texts, but he'd call me on his way home from work everyday. Just the thing is, sometimes I'll text him and he won't reply. He'll reply to the first text but that's it. And it's actually conversation stuff, not just an "ok" or "Yeah." I have causally brought it up and the first time he said he's been busy... the second time he said, "well it's nothing that needs a response." The stuff I'm texting, as I said, is actual stuff. With that logic, the only thing that "NEEDS" a response is a question... So is that just how guys are now or something? And also, he told me to text him something and I said I was busy and he said, "texting only takes a second" so I'm just like, ???? lol.
Ami1uwant Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 He is comfortable now so the ourt ship stuff is over. Guys don't like to instantly text. It's much more purpose driven like telling someone something...or answering a quick question.
blue_jay_bird Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Well, this happened before i was dumped...but im sure that's not the issue. Try getting busy and unavailable yourself. I should have done this. In the end i hung on to every text/message waiting. This is a very unhappy way to live. Then you look desperate and needy. Get out, try working out ext. I should have done this. Wait for him to start to contact you. I know this can be hard cause he can end up going days with out a peep. When this happens alot you confront him and he says its nothing. Then they leave you. So yeah, to me its something to worry about. BUT getting clingy and needy will make him run.
HitMeNow Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I've been dating my boyfriend almost 8 months now. In the beginning he'd text all day everyday. The amount slowly decreased until it turned into hardly any texts, but he'd call me on his way home from work everyday. Just the thing is, sometimes I'll text him and he won't reply. He'll reply to the first text but that's it. And it's actually conversation stuff, not just an "ok" or "Yeah." I have causally brought it up and the first time he said he's been busy... the second time he said, "well it's nothing that needs a response." The stuff I'm texting, as I said, is actual stuff. With that logic, the only thing that "NEEDS" a response is a question... So is that just how guys are now or something? And also, he told me to text him something and I said I was busy and he said, "texting only takes a second" so I'm just like, ???? lol. I hate threads like this. So you told us that HE's been texting you at the beginning lots, that HE's been not texting you as often lately. HE HE HE.. What about you? What have you been doing? How often have you been texting and initiating texts? What I find happens most of the time, is that the girl is playing games, or is just comfy with the guy always initiating and the guy is OK with this at the beginning. Then he gets fed up that the girl is not putting in as much effort therefore he ceases. This is where the girl goes ape **** and starts complaining "Oh you're not showing me enough love" and thinking "HE s not that into me anymore"...... NO ****ING KIDDING. Not saying that this is your case, but I find it very common. 1
pbjbear Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I hate threads like this. So you told us that HE's been texting you at the beginning lots, that HE's been not texting you as often lately. HE HE HE.. What about you? What have you been doing? How often have you been texting and initiating texts? What I find happens most of the time, is that the girl is playing games, or is just comfy with the guy always initiating and the guy is OK with this at the beginning. Then he gets fed up that the girl is not putting in as much effort therefore he ceases. This is where the girl goes ape **** and starts complaining "Oh you're not showing me enough love" and thinking "HE s not that into me anymore"...... NO ****ING KIDDING. Not saying that this is your case, but I find it very common. I agree with this, do you initiate texts? If you do initiate, and communication has faded away...it most likely means hes just comfortable with the relationship and knows he doesnt have to work as hard. I dont like to text everyday and Im sure most guys dont either. It could mean hes losing interest but its hard to tell just based off of this. However, if you rarely initiate he may be fed up.
Keenly Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I'm a guy and I love to text. But if you respond with just "lol" or "yeah sure' or any other short answer that kills the conversation it gives the impression you don't want to talk. Now I have no idea if this even applies to you but just make sure your texts are respond able
Author tme0 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 I hate threads like this. So you told us that HE's been texting you at the beginning lots, that HE's been not texting you as often lately. HE HE HE.. What about you? What have you been doing? How often have you been texting and initiating texts? What I find happens most of the time, is that the girl is playing games, or is just comfy with the guy always initiating and the guy is OK with this at the beginning. Then he gets fed up that the girl is not putting in as much effort therefore he ceases. This is where the girl goes ape **** and starts complaining "Oh you're not showing me enough love" and thinking "HE s not that into me anymore"...... NO ****ING KIDDING. Not saying that this is your case, but I find it very common. I do text him first sometimes. I just don't as often because I don't like that he doesn't reply sometimes. In the beginning he'd reply to anything, even if it was an "ok" .. but it's like now, even if I send him a lengthy text talking about such and such, I may or may not get a reply.. We talk on the phone more than text really, anyways. But last week he didn't call as often. And before you say anything, he has to be the one to call because he gets off any time from 3-11 pm depending on when he gets done, so it's not like I know when he's done so I can call him..
Author tme0 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 I'm a guy and I love to text. But if you respond with just "lol" or "yeah sure' or any other short answer that kills the conversation it gives the impression you don't want to talk. Now I have no idea if this even applies to you but just make sure your texts are respond able I do. If I send him an "ok" or something, I don't expect a reply. But when I tell him about this lesson I have to prepare, and things that happened to me today, I kind of expect a reply..
BehindTheseHazelEyes Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I do. If I send him an "ok" or something, I don't expect a reply. But when I tell him about this lesson I have to prepare, and things that happened to me today, I kind of expect a reply.. No you don't expect a reply, because you put up with him not doing it.
Author tme0 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 No you don't expect a reply, because you put up with him not doing it. So then what do I do? I've brought it up twice.. I don't want to seem clingy or needy or something, but ...
Keenly Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 So then what do I do? I've brought it up twice.. I don't want to seem clingy or needy or something, but ... You seem that way when you talk about it because it is. Is he alright when you guys are hanging out ?
BehindTheseHazelEyes Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 So then what do I do? I've brought it up twice.. I don't want to seem clingy or needy or something, but ... Tell him it's not working out for you and go find someone else who will text you back. You're not being clingy or needy. He's being rude.
Keenly Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Tell him it's not working out for you and go find someone else who will text you back. You're not being clingy or needy. He's being rude. Are you saying ending a relationship because the person is lot in constant contact with you is not clingy?
Author tme0 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 You seem that way when you talk about it because it is. Is he alright when you guys are hanging out ? He's completely fine when we are hanging out. He is constantly touching me, caressing me, tells me he loves me.
Keenly Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 He's completely fine when we are hanging out. He is constantly touching me, caressing me, tells me he loves me. Your boyfriend is just old school. There was a time when people could be their own person when away from their significant others. Now because the technology is there , people want you to remain in CONSTANT contact. And then they get mad when other people aren't like that. Just let it go ,if this is the only problem in your relationship, just let it go. 1
Author tme0 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 Your boyfriend is just old school. There was a time when people could be their own person when away from their significant others. Now because the technology is there , people want you to remain in CONSTANT contact. And then they get mad when other people aren't like that. Just let it go ,if this is the only problem in your relationship, just let it go. Ok. But I still don't understand why he's like that now...
BehindTheseHazelEyes Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 He's taken the fact that you're his girlfriend for granted. And he doesn't care that it upsets you. Is that the kind of guy you really want to spend more time with?
Keenly Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 He's taken the fact that you're his girlfriend for granted. And he doesn't care that it upsets you. Is that the kind of guy you really want to spend more time with? Because he won't text back? Are you serious? Technology has made everyone so clingy and insecure. Explain to me how he is taking her for granted ? She just said when they hang out everything is fine. So far, the ONLY problem is he doesn't like to text. Would you really leave a partner because of something so small and petty ? 3
Author tme0 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 I see what you're saying, but whenever a question like this is asked (I've asked a similar question on a forum before) basically this is what happens: The guys that reply say that it's nothing. They say it's a guy thing, he doesn't mean anything by it and everything is fine. The girls that reply say that he shouldn't do that, it's bad, it's rude, it's not right, I need to talk to him about it, etc. So it's confusing.
superb Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Ok. But I still don't understand why he's like that now... How old are you? How old is he?
Green Light Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Just be glad that this is the only "problem" you have. 1
Author tme0 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 How old are you? How old is he? We're in our early 20's. --------------------------------------- And Keenly..I can kind of understand what she is saying.. it's not something I'd break up with him over. But she's saying that he knows I'm always here, I'll always reply to his texts, I'll always send him a nice text, and when he feels like it, he'll send me one. It's not like in the beginning when he was trying to win me over..then he'd send all kinds of nice texts and reply to everything, but now I'm his girlfriend so I'm his now. At least that is what I think she means by "taking me for granted."
Green Light Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I hate threads like this. I do also and there seems to be more and more everyday. I notice that even when I text friends they are either texting me right back that minute or I hear absolutely nothing for days or even months. The bottom line is that TEXTING IS A HORRIBLE WAY FOR PEOPLE TO COMMUNICATE! It brings out the flake in people. It's the crudest, rudest, coldest form of communication ever. Well, maybe morse code or smoke signals were worse.
pbjbear Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Because he won't text back? Are you serious? Technology has made everyone so clingy and insecure. Explain to me how he is taking her for granted ? She just said when they hang out everything is fine. So far, the ONLY problem is he doesn't like to text. Would you really leave a partner because of something so small and petty ? I agree as long as there is really nothing else wrong in your relationship
Mysterious1 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Some men are not into texting. I was told by this guy I met that texting is overrated. If he texts me and I say I'm busy then what is the point of him responding or texting back? I like to text but everyone has different perspectives on it. Another guy I met a month ago used to text me all the time and we would text throughout the day but it has slowed down. That doesn't necessarily mean anything. If you're curious then just ask him.
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