Author fabi20 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 this is why we answered her the way we did . even thou i understand what you mean with sympathize. even thou only if i read some of the next replys of her i can see something to maybe sympathize with/ but at the other hand looking at how she act, i think the only answer is , stop . and move on i see the point you're trying to make, but maybe you think about what you say on these forums, some people are very sensitive, the other person might really get hurt by stuff like this... i'm not underage, i'm just more sensitive than most people. if you're saying i shouldn't care about this person or his business after we dated for 2 years and have known each other for 15 years then you might be the immature one. we didn't end in bad terms, just too much arguments. we agreed to remain friends when the right time came... as for me wanting me to know if he has a gf, i don't see anything wrong with that
geegirl Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 as for me wanting me to know if he has a gf, i don't see anything wrong with that It's normal to feel that anxiety of wanting to know. Just don't do it by asking him. After a break-up, progression entails one or both moving on to other people. Accept that he is, will or may move on to someone else. If he wants you back, he will make the move. Knowing whether he has a gf or not doesn't change the fact that he does not want the relationship anymore. Be careful what you wish for. I was in your shoes. And when I found out, it killed me and it didn't help me to move forward. All it did was create another demon in my head.
KatZee Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 as for me wanting me to know if he has a gf, i don't see anything wrong with that It is wrong. You're not privy to this information anymore. And for the part of "we agreed to be friends when the time is right..." The "right" day may never come at all. There are tons of people who are able to be, and who go on to be friends with exes. I am one of them. But you guys have so much history, and you're still in the fog of love. You're not over him remotely. You're still in denial thinking he'll come back one day. And lets say you WERE completely over him and tried to weasel back into his life... do you really think the new girlfriend is going to appreciate that? You throw the word "friend" out but think about it. You wouldn't be a friend at all. You'd be the girl he used to date. You guys aren't going to hang out, you're not going to go out with him and his friends. You'll be acquaintances... at BEST. What is even the point of that? For you to call him up asking him if he has a girlfriend... do you know how pathetic this makes you look? What's he going to say? "Yeah. I do. Why?" And what are you going to say? That you just wanted to know if you had a chance left? There is absolutely no need for you to call him. Through the grapevine it reached you that he's in a relationship. Believe it. You don't need his verification. It was inevitable that he was going to move on. It's time you start doing the same. You're staying in the same spot not doing a thing to move on or progress anywhere. You don't want to be in this same spot next year. 1
destroyed4sho Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I know how you feel. I know that my ex is with someone that she had been with since we were together. A few weeks ago I texted her that I knew she was with someone while she was with me. She texted me still denying it. Whatever, a weak person she is, spineless, and a LIAR. I didn't experience the pain of her admitting it to me, and maybe that is why it felt good having gotten it out afterwards. Yes, I agree that you feel better after you let them know that you know. It provides some type of closure and makes them know you weren't easily fooled. But it doesn't make a difference in the long run. I am still depressed and lost. Maybe you can get one of your friends to admit you were told instead of directly speaking with him. Tell you friend it would mean a lot to you if he mentioned it to him. Does anyone else agree with me?
flitzanu Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 hi guys, i posted a few threads in the last few days on here about my situation...long story short...my bf of 2 yrs broke things off almost three months ago...we did have many problems in the relationship and it was sad, something we both didn't want but he had "fallen out of love" and couldn't be bothered with the constant arguing anymore....for the first three weeks i would text him a couple of times a week and he was polite and did return my texts...but after a month, and maybe after he saw i was still too emotional, he started to ignore me i couldn't figure out why. about two weeks ago one of our mutual friends told me he has a gf. the mutual friend is more of my friend than his though, and the way he found out was thru a close friend of my ex (we are all friends and in the same circle) he asked me to not say anything bc he didn't want to get the other guy in trouble for telling him, and eventually leading to me finding out the problem i have is that he didn't tell me until i started crying to him, telling him it would actually make it easier for me if he did have a gf bc that way i could move on quicker...after him telling me he doesn't have a gf and probably won't be able to find one, he finally told me my ex does indeed have somone in his life and he heard he calls her his gf now... now, i don't understand why my ex couldn't be honest with me and all tose times i asked to meet up with him instead of ignoring me, why not tell me he is seeing someone new? why am i not supposed to know? the guy who originally told my other guy friend did not tell me either when him and i went out to talk about how i was feeling...why not just tell me if it's true i just want to hear it from my ex and know if this person exists or if he's serious about her...i just feel like part of me is in denial but part of me thinks it doesn't make sense i just want to know if there is an actual new gf or not and why he couldn't tell me no, you don't confront your ex for information. he broke up with you so he could pursue his own life, which likely means pursue other people. what is it going to change if he has a new gf? it doesn't change the fact that he broke up with you.
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