Karma - 2 months NC and she's texting me (Tables possibly turned but I like NC)

[Samilia]

My ex lied all the time, the cheating/liar type. Anyway, when I confronted him, his reason for lying was that this way he wouldn't have to deal with it, that if someone knew what he was trying to hide, that would get him in trouble. Hence, lying, "what they don't know can't hurt them" kind of deal.

 

What kind of a f*cked up logic is that lol My dad was a liar, I rather have blunt honesty than a lie.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Hello Everyone.

 

I know you're probably thinking I'm new on here but I have read almost every single post on here since I signed up and even prior(n49, taramorgan, vortex, ConfusedHumanBeing, NoMoreJerks etc) I know your stories pretty well I'd say.

 

I have been hesitant to open up on here as I know my ex loves to Google stuff but I figured It's been long enough now that I don't even care if she sees this.

Please be aware this might be a bit long but I can't help but try to make some sense out of the things my ex has been doing since BU. I am def over it but I can't seem to have learned anything from this besides what NC really is.

I know I know, I will never get any answers as to why she did what she did but I am actually referring at her breaking NC.

 

 

My ex and I (she was 30, I'm 26) were dating for 5 1/2 months...(Yes ridiculous writing this crap for such a short relationship)

 

On Dec 2 - after a lot of fighting for a whole week (mostly due to me catching her on lies and keeping things away from me - I lost trust) she slammed my car door and called it quits.

 

It really hurt me because I was pulling through dealing with her compulsively lying to me about her ex, her past and then lately about the relationship she had with her sister and family gaining up on her not to be with me...and her excuse was "I have a problem with lying what do you want me to say". On the other hand, there were things I could of dealt with better but what's done is done.

 

Dec 3rd - (Day after BU) felt like the worse day of my life. I left work early for lunch and went to see her at work. She got in my car and we both started crying. I told her that I felt betrayed and she kept giving me mix feelings. At first she said she was over me, then she wanted to give it a try and perhaps just a short break because she was emotionally unstabled. She wanted me to call her once i got to work which I did and we got off the phone both saying how much we loved each other.

 

I went to see her later that day and I ended up with my heart broken again and felt so disrespected right in front of her house as I was begging her to stop acting like a stranger while she kept yelling "IM DONE, GO HOME. I said GOO HOME"..I felt so empty and hopeless everything hit me at once.

My mother was in the hospital fighting cancer (going through a bone-marrow transplant at the time), I was going through finals at school and was very overwhelmed at work.. I ended up breaking down in front of her ....but she gave no ****s.

 

For a week we texted and talked very little on the phone. Her giving me mix feelings still but always ended the conversation with "I love you but I can't do this" and with me getting my heart broken over and over again.

A week after breaking up, she texted me being nice and ended up visiting me at work when I got out. (this was on my request)

 

We spent 3 hours in the parking lot her saying how "she wasn't happy, regrets breaking up with me and loves me so much" I told her the same and that I wanted to take it slow this time. I told her I am very stressed out and that prehaps I just bring out on us (I think about it now and I never brought any of my problems on our relationship so that was prob me finding a reason to give us closure) Everything was fine until out of nowhere, she grabbed the door handle and got out the car saying "I can't Im sorry I can't do this". Got in her car and just sat there. I told her WTF and that I was done, and immediately she drove off. I was confused and heartbroken again.

 

Sometime during that week, I went to see my mother in the hospital and broke down on her as I was trying so hard to put a smile on my face when I heard she was going to be out the hospital soon. It's like it hurt me even more. I realized my priorities had to change and be strong as this was not the time for me to show any kind of weakness due to the circumstances with the family. I pulled my sh*t together and took every single thing my ex said to me personally and said F** her and everything that comes with her drama. If she's going to do this at the worse point of my life, I don't need a personal like that either way.

 

Dec 12 - early in the AM was last time I talked and texted her.

 

Went no contact, went out with friends, worked out twice a day, went to shooting range to release my anger and connected with a previous ex I dated for 5 years (which I was very close with to start off with). Signed up on LS and realized what I was doing indeed was the right thing.

I had already blocked her and her sister on Facebook and promised myself to not try to even look at any of her friends FB pics or try to find out what she was up to... I kept my word.

 

Dec 18 - I sent her things back via Mail (A phone charger and a PS3 game she had left at my house)

 

It was very hard but I was doing better than walking like a dead zombie although I never got any type of closure from her and never really told my peace. (I am an only child and could not talk to my guy friends very deeply about this situation as they'd think I was being ridiculous as I should of been more worried about my mother than her)

 

I ended up spending xmas with my ex ex and her family (they invited me over I think as they knew my mom was not going to be home) I accepted as I needed to keep my mind off things so I well.

 

Dec 26 -(I get the first text) "I know you don't want to hear from me or that you ever thought you'd hear from me again but I hope you had a good xmas and hope your mom is gets well soon."

 

I did not reply.

 

Jan 1 - another text- I was something like "I am Glad you are with the love of your life. I hope you're happy"

- She can't see my FB page as she is blocked and my FB is set to private. My profile picture is of one of my bikes and she can't see any pics of me. She went as far as creeping on my ex ex's FB (the one I spent Xmas with) and saw a pic of us for her on her profile as her profile is also private.

*I did not reply.

 

Jan 2 - another text - "I am sorry I texted you that. It's been a very rough couple of weeks"

 

*I am thinking only a couple of weeks? It's been a whole rough month for me. I wasn't satisfied so I did not reply.

 

Jan 5 - I get a box in mail. I figured it was probably some stuff I left at her house. I opened it and I get a pair of underwear, a pair of socks, a white t-shirt, two unused condoms and a plastic ring I won’t at a coin gaming machine together with a small weird card that when you close it, it closes uneven.

(Okay first off, who the F*** sends back condoms, a pair of socks and a pair of underwear? Really? I own two motorcycles, a boat, a jetski and two cars...I can afford a pair of underwear.)

 

On the card it said, "hey my name, here is your stuff. I don't know if you need it but you sent me mine. I am sorry for the way things ended. I don't know what else to say right now. I hope you're happy ( I am not being sarcastic when I say that) I hope your mother and your father are doing good. I hope your mom gets well soon. She is a very strong woman, I hope you know that. - Love ex's name. "

 

*I did not respond

 

Jan 26 (two days ago) text - "Did you ever really stop loving her and really love me? "

*I did not respond

 

Jan 27 (Yesterday) - I get woken up at 9 Am (Yes I slept in , w.e it was Saturday ) from a restricted phone call. I never receive any restricted phone calls ever. When cousins from overseas call, it shows as an Unknown Number. Restricted is when someone dials *67 in front of the number.

* I decided not to pick up.

 

My assumption is she called restricted to check if I have the same number and see if I am getting the text messages.

 

Either-way, I would really love to hear what you guys think? Why is she doing this? What in the world is she trying to get from all this?

 

ps. I never broke NC and I don't think I ever will. I am hanging out with many people and old friends (got a house party coming up, and love how much more focused I am on my side projects then when I was with her)

My mother is back home and doing better and things look pretty good. I also graduate with an I.T degree in less then a year.

 

***

To anyone struggling out there, keep strong my friends. There is light at the end of the tunnel is just a matter of getting closure with yourself. (If you don't believe me, read my first post on here and look how far along I've come in 47 days of NC)

 

Thanks for the shoutout my friend. That probably means I am on here too much haha. I like how you played this entire situation. To be honest, I wish my ex would do what yours is doing. I think I kinda pushed her TOO far that she would never do any of this. If I had some sort of control, I might be doing much better than I currently do. It's a helpless feeling for sure because she broke up with ME and doesnt want ME anywhere near her. First, it was a demotion of "lets be friends" then it was a full scale "dont ever talk to me again." I have deleted my browser on my phone and have blocked every app on my phone and website so I don't get tempted anymore.

 

What you did and how you play it makes me happy. You held your own and you came out better at the end. I'm hoping that this post finds me well.