BabyBoy2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Hi All, my first post. I'm male, near 30 years old. I'm in a bit of a dilemma and require some advice from others. I've been with my current girlfriend for 4 years. I now think it's time to get out. She's a good girl in all respect, but I feel like I don't love her no more. I want to get out of the relationship, but I know it's going to be painful for the both of us. I spent 12 month in prison for a white collar crime (computer hacking). I've only just got out. Whilst I've been in prison she stuck by me, she visited often. I am utterly grateful for what she did. Although she let things slip when I went inside. She'd party constantly. The money I left her with she blew, didn't pay rent, and got kicked out of out rented house. I sold some of my expensive processions to help her out, and she spent that money too. She also started to smoke weed and she smokes it regular now. Not to mention I have doubts about what went on whilst I was in prison. I know what she's like when drunk, and she got drunk regular. I know the premise for my reasoned logic does not make much sense, but it's highly likely she did. She dropped her son off with her ex partner the other day, and I rang her to ask what time she wants to meet me. She ignored the phone, I rang about 20 times. Very unusual for her. Then an hour later she answers and says her battery died. I know it didn't because the phone would have went to voicemail straight away if it did. I have doubts about why she stayed with me when I went to prison. I personally believe it's because I can provide her with a comfortable life, and she don't want to lose that. My thinking might be wrong. But then again I do have issues with trust anyway. Personally I want to be single, I would really like that. I know it will tear me up, the thought of another man with the girl I somewhat love, yet somewhat don't. To put it blunt, I think it's the sex I would miss. That's the only thing I seem to truly enjoy with her. I need to set foundations in my life, and build upon those before building a new life ontop of something that clearly isn't working. If you know what I mean. I sound like an idiot with my head up my own arse. Forgive me. I'm trying to keep it short and to the point. I've never been single for a long amount of time. And I am worried about single life. I'm not into one night stands or anything like that, so if I was to be single it would be for a good year or 2, or maybe 3. Just to get myself on track in life. And that's what really worries me. Single life. She would hate me if I left her, after what she's done for me. I don't want to hurt her, or upset her. I partly wish she would cheat on me so I can get out without hurting her. Sounds mad right? I want a girl who shares common interests. One who has a future, and a career and isn't into smoking weed, or wasting away in life. I want someone who cares about me. I'm sure my girlfriend cares in her own way, but her way of caring isn't right. It's a mess and I want to clean it up but I am seriously worried/scared etc. Any advice?
pinkie Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Just tell her you two aren't on the same life path and that you want her to be happy, but you feel miserable. Just approach it like you're talking to her as a friend. Be honest. It might hurt, but at least it's the truth. This way you aren't waiting around for the other shoe to drop when she messes up/cheats. She can be free to do whatever she likes, live her lifestyle and find someone more compatible. You can be free to get your life back on track.
Author BabyBoy2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 Just tell her you two aren't on the same life path and that you want her to be happy, but you feel miserable. Just approach it like you're talking to her as a friend. Be honest. It might hurt, but at least it's the truth. This way you aren't waiting around for the other shoe to drop when she messes up/cheats. She can be free to do whatever she likes, live her lifestyle and find someone more compatible. You can be free to get your life back on track. I've contemplated this on numerous occasions, but not had the balls to do it. Yet I know in my heart it's the only way to finish it. I keep asking myself 'is this truly what you want?'. I keep telling myself 'Yes. Yes. Yes.'. Then I'll get to the point of taking action and say 'No'. I need to pluck up the courage and deal with this I know. I wish I was like those attractive females that chose to be single for x amount of years and are perfectly happy being single. How the hell do they do it? Or is that only in the movies? Personally, I feel we're conditioned as children into believing that a relationship, and sex, is the most important thing in life and we tend to make that a priority over everything else. I actually feel violated by this unwanted conditioning now that I'm aware to it - I blame the media, they're always a good scapegoat when someone's to blame. Sorry ... of track a little there. Regain life. That's it. Time to ponder on my future.
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