LostGirl11 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Sorry to any men that read this. I'm going crazy! I can't stop crying. I feel so angry, it actually hurts. I didn't sleep at all last night, couldn't switch off, kept going over everything. I haven't done that for a couple of weeks now! Then today was even worse, soooo angry! I was so close to breaking NC! Just wanted to send him a one worded text that sums him up. But I didn't. I had to switch off my phone in the end. Then...I came on my period. Great. So not only do I feel angry I feel fat and icky. Does anyone else go a bit crazy when its that lovely time of the month? Do you seem to want to break NC more? How do you calm yourself down?
geegirl Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Sorry to any men that read this. I'm going crazy! I can't stop crying. I feel so angry, it actually hurts. I didn't sleep at all last night, couldn't switch off, kept going over everything. I haven't done that for a couple of weeks now! Then today was even worse, soooo angry! I was so close to breaking NC! Just wanted to send him a one worded text that sums him up. But I didn't. I had to switch off my phone in the end. Then...I came on my period. Great. So not only do I feel angry I feel fat and icky. Does anyone else go a bit crazy when its that lovely time of the month? Do you seem to want to break NC more? How do you calm yourself down? Yes, I get emotional when it's coming to that time of month. I remember when I had my break-up, that first month, I was going bananas wanting to text. I had a feeling that it was my period that was intensifying my feelings so I made sure to note the date to be prepared for the next month. When that next month came, I would calmly tell myself that there's a perfectly valid explanation as to why my emotions were on high and that it would pass in a few days. And it did.
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 You stole my headline but shortened it Did I? Sorry, I didn't see it...
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 Yes, I get emotional when it's coming to that time of month. I remember when I had my break-up, that first month, I was going bananas wanting to text. I had a feeling that it was my period that was intensifying my feelings so I made sure to note the date to be prepared for the next month. When that next month came, I would calmly tell myself that there's a perfectly valid explanation as to why my emotions were on high and that it would pass in a few days. And it did. I just hope to god he doesn't contact me in the next few days! I will go crazy on him, then regret it, then feel guilty, blah blah. One minute I'm sobbing my heart out then I'm in a rage! Like a shaking, mental rage! I think I should give my phone to someone? Or shall I just fight it?
geegirl Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I just hope to god he doesn't contact me in the next few days! I will go crazy on him, then regret it, then feel guilty, blah blah. One minute I'm sobbing my heart out then I'm in a rage! Like a shaking, mental rage! I think I should give my phone to someone? Or shall I just fight it? You cannot react, Lost. Even if he contacts you, come here and post. Call a friend. Throw your phone somewhere and leave the house to calm yourself down. Switch off your phone and go to gym. Rollercoaster emotions are normal. If you know it's your period, when he text messages you, step back and center yourself by rationalizing your emotions. If you don't rely too much on your phone, give it to a friend until you feel better. Just don't react. Remember how you felt after making that snap comment? This is no different. If you want to break that habit, start now.
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 You cannot react, Lost. Even if he contacts you, come here and post. Call a friend. Throw your phone somewhere and leave the house to calm yourself down. Switch off your phone and go to gym. Rollercoaster emotions are normal. If you know it's your period, when he text messages you, step back and center yourself by rationalizing your emotions. If you don't rely too much on your phone, give it to a friend until you feel better. Just don't react. Remember how you felt after making that snap comment? This is no different. If you want to break that habit, start now. I won't react. I still need to tell him to leave me alone. He hasn't been in contact so maybe he has given up, but if he does call I won't be able to tell him in a calm sane way, I will have to text him and tell him that it isn't a good time for me to talk. Thats if he does call. I just can't seem to find anything to calm me, I've tried a walk, hot bath, reading ect but can't shake this fury!
geegirl Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I won't react. I still need to tell him to leave me alone. He hasn't been in contact so maybe he has given up, but if he does call I won't be able to tell him in a calm sane way, I will have to text him and tell him that it isn't a good time for me to talk. Thats if he does call. I just can't seem to find anything to calm me, I've tried a walk, hot bath, reading ect but can't shake this fury! You don't have to talk to him to tell him not to contact you anymore. You said you have told him many times the reasons why. He'll just have to take your silence as you meaning what you say. Unfortunately, you have to just brave through those up and down emotions. You break just happened so everything is fresh and raw.
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 You don't have to talk to him to tell him not to contact you anymore. You said you have told him many times the reasons why. He'll just have to take your silence as you meaning what you say. Unfortunately, you have to just brave through those up and down emotions. You break just happened so everything is fresh and raw. I just don't think I'll be able to blank him. I'm too soft, I think if I tell him over the phone he will know I'm being serious. Anyway, it might not even come to that. Just wish I had something to knock me out!
geegirl Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I just don't think I'll be able to blank him. I'm too soft, I think if I tell him over the phone he will know I'm being serious. Anyway, it might not even come to that. Just wish I had something to knock me out! "I'm too soft" is why you should not talk to him to reiterate no contact. If you go back and read your posts, a number of us told you that he contacts for his own selfish needs and a person that cares about you lets you heal without bombarding you with requests to be friends. If you want to show him how serious you are, ignore him. There is nothing louder than silence. In any case, you will do what you need to do.
Hopeful79 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Don't contact him. I am going into the 3rd month of my breakup. It is not as painful, but it is still incredibly difficult for me. I miss him. I love him. I still want him...and yet when I was with him I wasn't happy. When it's that time of the month it does get more difficult for a lot of us. I made the mistake of trying to be friends with him. But we hung out and it was all lovey dovey and we had sex and he called me by my pet name - a lot of "I love yous"....it felt so good, that day and night was so wonderful, but the next day it ended and he was back to being my ex. Stay strong...we'll get through this!
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 "I'm too soft" is why you should not talk to him to reiterate no contact. If you go back and read your posts, a number of us told you that he contacts for his own selfish needs and a person that cares about you lets you heal without bombarding you with requests to be friends. If you want to show him how serious you are, ignore him. There is nothing louder than silence. In any case, you will do what you need to do. I know, he is selfish. But I'm me and I just can't blank people, no matter how horrible they are. It won't turn into a discussion, will just tell him straight. He might have taken the hint anyway, so I'm not going to stress about it and I won't be contacting him.
geegirl Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I know, he is selfish. But I'm me and I just can't blank people, no matter how horrible they are. It won't turn into a discussion, will just tell him straight. He might have taken the hint anyway, so I'm not going to stress about it and I won't be contacting him. Do what you need to do for yourself.
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 Do what you need to do for yourself. Wish you lived closer! So you could give me a slap...
geegirl Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Wish you lived closer! So you could give me a slap... I'd give you a hug and comfort you. No slapping! You have to do what works for you, Lost. I can tell you to ignore but it will only eat you up inside and make you feel worse or even make you react negatively at some point. If talking to him helps you get to the other side, then you do what works for you. If you know it won't be a discussion and you can get through it without caving or talking about the relationship, then set that boundary and move forward.
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 I'd give you a hug and comfort you. No slapping! You have to do what works for you, Lost. I can tell you to ignore but it will only eat you up inside and make you feel worse or even make you react negatively at some point. If talking to him helps you get to the other side, then you do what works for you. If you know it won't be a discussion and you can get through it without caving or talking about the relationship, then set that boundary and move forward. That would be nice, though I'd probably sob all over you! Well as I said, he hasn't been in contact. I think he was expecting me to text him, his ego is probably sore. He probably feels stupid for asking me if I was going out on Friday night. Probably thought I'd be sucked into a conversation via text. Instead I saw the text was from him and said aloud 'Oh just piss off will you' Shame I'm not thinking like that now.
geegirl Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 That would be nice, though I'd probably sob all over you! Well as I said, he hasn't been in contact. I think he was expecting me to text him, his ego is probably sore. He probably feels stupid for asking me if I was going out on Friday night. Probably thought I'd be sucked into a conversation via text. Instead I saw the text was from him and said aloud 'Oh just piss off will you' Shame I'm not thinking like that now. That would be fine. I've sobbed and held many a sobbing friend in my lifetime. Those days of strength and weakness will come and go. It won't always be this way though. Be proud of yourself for coming this far. It's not easy.
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 That would be fine. I've sobbed and held many a sobbing friend in my lifetime. Those days of strength and weakness will come and go. It won't always be this way though. Be proud of yourself for coming this far. It's not easy. Thanks geegirl. Not really done much though have I. Doesn't feel like I have. No it's not easy.
geegirl Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Thanks geegirl. Not really done much though have I. Doesn't feel like I have. No it's not easy. Don't be so hard on yourself. This is very fresh and raw. It's hard to detach from someone you love. You're doing the best you can. You've been resilient in holding down the fort and there may be slip-ups along the way but sometimes mistakes are good because it teaches you not to do it again! It's a process, Lost. NC is not easy. It's the hardest thing to do. It takes courage and determination to do the right thing, for yourself. You will get there.
Author LostGirl11 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 Well I guess I have never initiated contact, and I didn't accept his offer of friendship. Some would jump at the chance. I knew it would kill me to say no. But I won't crack.
geegirl Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Well I guess I have never initiated contact, and I didn't accept his offer of friendship. Some would jump at the chance. I knew it would kill me to say no. But I won't crack. Exactly! Most would have caved and broken NC.
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