pureinheart Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 That's the kind of perspective I was looking for. Thank you. I look much older than I am, so it's very likely that women out in the real world probably overestimate my age by 8-12 years. Likewise, unless she looks like a child I don't really ever know how old a woman is. I don't have any activities that are conducive to meeting women. So I tried OLD with no success. Gave up, and now I'm thinking of trying again. 49,000, IMO it depends on the person and not the age. Like you, only in the opposite always looked about 10-15 yrs younger. There have been times that age crept up (like now), but always bounce back to the former. Actually I thought you were much older, given your posting style and experience. I think you'd be best suited with someone older...that was my first thought when discovering your biological age. I come up with this conclusion based on experience. Have dated younger/older/same age or close to. The relationships failed due to personality defects and not age.
pureinheart Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 (edited) In this thread have heard talk of messaging? Is this like online dating? My daughter does this...is this safe? She doesn't do it out of desparation, she does it thinking it's the new social network for those who don't frequent clubs or bars? Also she doesn't do it out of lonliness (sp?) ....she has a million friends ....it's just the new thing? Edited February 10, 2013 by pureinheart
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 In this thread have heard talk of messaging? Is this like online dating? My daughter does this...is this safe? She doesn't do it out of desparation, she does it thinking it's the new social network for those who don't frequent clubs or bars? Also she doesn't do it out of lonliness (sp?) ....she has a million friends ....it's just the new thing? I ask about online dating because right now that's my main source of trying to get dates. Also, it's the only place I'd ever really know if a woman was 32 instead of say 25...I'm not good at knowing how old someone really is. OLD isn't about desperation most of the time. It's usually about trying to meet people you wouldn't normally meet. Or trying to message people you think you'd click with.
Terminal-Ice Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Uhm, i'm a 33 y.o. woman and i'm not into older women I wasn't implying you were. I was piggy-backing off of what you said because you made a good point.
Terminal-Ice Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 So far I've only messaged older women on OLD, not approached them in real life. I don't really approach any women in real life but that's another story. I just message them like I would a woman my own age. I got one response, but it was from a woman who lied about her location. Which seemed kind of sketchy to me. Okay, but like I asked before, what are you saying. As in, cut and paste some of your messages here so we can give you some advice. You have a bunch of women here willing to help you. Take advantage of it.
Robman9911 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Uhm, i'm a 33 y.o. woman and i'm not into older women I wasn't implying you were. I was piggy-backing off of what you said because you made a good point. So its younger women?? 1
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Okay, but like I asked before, what are you saying. As in, cut and paste some of your messages here so we can give you some advice. You have a bunch of women here willing to help you. Take advantage of it. You mean messages that I sent to older women or just any women?
PhoenixRysing Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I very much agree with Terminal-Ice. As a 35 year old woman myself, I find that I have very little in common with 25 year old men. It isn't that I don't get along with them, I do, and I have friends in ages that run the spectrum from 21-71 but my generally preferred dating range is 33-43. I confess this is an arbitrary limit but in terms of my personal relationship goals it feels about right. Men in this age group tend to be at the same place in their careers as I am and tend to have the same general philosophy about dating that I do (interested in dating seriously, leading to marriage, and potentially children) and at the same pace I am interested in. My experience with my friends tells me that men much younger, while their goals long-term may be similar, they would be less inclined to the time line I am facing due to aging-ovaries-syndrome. Men much older, have been there done that and tend to not be interested in starting over. Children aside, there are other significant differences, such as dating expectations (where, when, how often, how many), financial stability differences, and general world view changes. I am amazed at how different I am now than I was when I was 25 and I recognize that men of this age will likely go through the same kinds of evolution that I did. I would not want to shape that growth or stunt it. So am I more inclined to stick to men who are in the same phase as I am. Again, broad generalization, and certainly I am always interested in exceptions to the rule. To sum up, I would say that it would be an extremely rare 25 year old who would both be interested in me and peak my interest as well - beyond friendship. 2
Terminal-Ice Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 You mean messages that I sent to older women or just any women? Any, because I have to wonder if the issue is really age-specific.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Any, because I have to wonder if the issue is really age-specific. Ok. Here's a message I sent that was not responded to: So how's the fantasy football team doing? Undefeated I hope. Hopefully you didn't draft Peyton Manning in the first round Since you also list both the Walking Dead and football in your favorites, I have to ask: do you also find it frustrating when a good Sunday Night football game is on and a new episode of the Walking Dead is airing? Sure, you could TiVo the show, but still...I'd rather see it while it's still new. Anyway, I saw your profile and you seem like a fun and interesting girl, so I figured I'd say hi. -49322 (my real name redacted) p.s. I'm always down for a game of Cranium And another ignored one: So what enticed you to come out to the DC area? Was it the great weather (hot summers with snow filled winters)? Or our great traffic congestion? haha Seriously though, how you liking it so far? I'd imagine it's probably much different. Here's one that did receive a response: Hey my name's 49322 (name again redacted), I saw your profile and you sound like a interesting person: I mean law school, and you like football, and you can spell "et cetera" without the "etc." abbreviation that everyone else uses. Quick question: what is law school like? I'm getting ready to graduate soon and have been thinking about law school, probably national security law but I'm not sure yet. Your profile seems to suggest that you enjoy it so I'm just curious. *Oh yeah one last question: who's your favorite football team? All three messages were sent to women 22-27 years old. 1
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Again, broad generalization, and certainly I am always interested in exceptions to the rule. To sum up, I would say that it would be an extremely rare 25 year old who would both be interested in me and peak my interest as well - beyond friendship. Interesting. Obviously on a dating site age is going to be known since it's listed there on the profile. But, if you met someone in real life, is age something you'd ask someone about on the first date or something? If I didn't already know someone's age it's not something that I'd readily ask myself. So I'm wondering.
PhoenixRysing Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 (edited) Interesting. Obviously on a dating site age is going to be known since it's listed there on the profile. But, if you met someone in real life, is age something you'd ask someone about on the first date or something? If I didn't already know someone's age it's not something that I'd readily ask myself. So I'm wondering. No, I wouldn't ask and if there was real chemistry I would go out with a guy I met in real life who was 25 if he did not appear to be that young (just a physical thing, I am attracted to more seasoned features). I would assume it would come out during a first date or as we got to know each other. Folks tend to assume I am younger than I am and if I met a 25 year older who looked older, it is entirely possible we could make it to a first date. From there, just standard conversation would it make it evident...how long its been since college, how long he's been doing his current work, how long I've live in my current city. Eventually, I would probably just ask if there was reason for concern. I had that happen once, we got along quite well. Throughout the course of the evening it came out that he was 27. Our chemistry was phenomenal but our differing lifestyles precluded a second date (he was moving to another city for career advancement) - though in his case I would have been interested. Chemistry notwithstanding the career issue would have eventually surfaced as I am very stable in mine with no real intention of moving, whereas he will likely need to move several more times to ensure his advancement prior to being able to settle in one city or another. Just one example where our differences in life phase would have caused a problem despite initial attraction. Edited February 10, 2013 by PhoenixRysing
pureinheart Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I ask about online dating because right now that's my main source of trying to get dates. Also, it's the only place I'd ever really know if a woman was 32 instead of say 25...I'm not good at knowing how old someone really is. OLD isn't about desperation most of the time. It's usually about trying to meet people you wouldn't normally meet. Or trying to message people you think you'd click with. ...and to my knowledge it's people in your own area, No? OLD....lol OnLine Dating....duhhhhh. Hey, doesn't take me long eh?...oh well, being a space case can have it's advantages:lmao: You know, wasn't too sure about this at first, BUT, it gives a chance to communicate online (through the phone as that's how my daughter does it) and get to know the person first. I have some friends that met their mates online, and so far no problems. My daughter works a lot and has 3 kids, so doesn't have much free time. She's not into clubs and such and when she does drink (which is rare) would rather drink at home (for a variety of reasons). Good luck to you 49,000, you're good people and hope you meet the right one for you!
nessaaa Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Damn. 30s suck. Your looks goes down hill from there. Look at kim k and beyonce for example...their faces in their 20s vs 30s. Tragic.
nessaaa Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I caannoottttt bare it! I do not ever wanna be 30.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 You probably don't believe me now; when I was 25, I thought I was very mature and grown up. But I've changed in ways I couldn't have imagined back then, and you probably will, too...in 10 years you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not trying to be insulting or condescending, and there's no value judgement; this is just the way it is. You are at one stage of life, and we are at another. Eh, I feel mature in some ways, immature in others. I'd say I'm not ready to start a family or anything, but I'm not a big partier or club scene person either (though I wonder at times if I should be). One thing I do know for certain: I look older than I am. Which I think (though I don't know for sure) makes me less attractive to some women, especially if they are my age. Regardless, this thread wasn't necessarily about only trying to date older women, but that would it be worth it to try to.
PhoenixRysing Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Eh, I feel mature in some ways, immature in others. I'd say I'm not ready to start a family or anything, but I'm not a big partier or club scene person either (though I wonder at times if I should be). One thing I do know for certain: I look older than I am. Which I think (though I don't know for sure) makes me less attractive to some women, especially if they are my age. Regardless, this thread wasn't necessarily about only trying to date older women, but that would it be worth it to try to. It's a great question. And despite everything I have said, my answer is actually yes. All of us who are single should spend more time expanding our horizons, keeping our options open, and being ready for just about anything. The one thing I do know after 35 years, is that all the guidelines in the world are just that, guidelines. When love hits you, rulebooks go out the window. Remember, I said it would take a rare 25 year old, not that it wasn't possible. I think we should all be cognizant of the facts but open to the possibilities. Life teaches us lessons, but its the exceptions we remember - not the rules. Good luck to you!
Terminal-Ice Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Ok. Here's a message I sent that was not responded to: And another ignored one: Here's one that did receive a response: All three messages were sent to women 22-27 years old. I have to say, I wish half the men who contact me would send messages like you do. I would suggest being more opinionated about things like fantasy football. Talk A LITTLE about which players you chose and why. Don't be afraid to say why you don't like a certain player. Don't go out of your way to disagree with a woman, but if you say something she doesn't agree with, she might have to reply to "school" you. ;-) Also, don't end your messages with so-so closings. Try stopping with some good questions. I think you've got the basic thing down, you just need to tweak it a bit. Also, really look and her profile to make sure you're what she's looking for. You may also want to get some opinions on your pictures, but I'm under the impression that you've done your homework and you know what not to do.
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